Jill's Happy Happenings

Absent but not forgotten!

2011-07-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

Like me for example! Yes I have been absent from the blogging world. My last blog was before my dad passed away and was the blog was about our sweet 4 pawed addition to our family, which is doing WONDERFUL by the way. My died did pass away on March 18. It was a very long and short journey all wrapped into one. I don't know why, but expressing my feelings since he has passed has not been easy for me at all. I have experienced a lot of heartache and a lot of loss over the past few years however losing a parent is indescribable. I mean they are the ones you go to for EVERYTHING from day one and even until now. I mean obviously I am a grown woman, however a girl always needs her daddy. Whether it be for day to day life, spiritual guidance, help with understanding, or just someone to cry to. I mean he is the man that picked out my name, he is the man that held me after I was born, he was the man that walked me down the aisle and gave me to my precious husband(after he told him if he ever hurt me he would..............)anyway back on track:) and in a very quick 6 months that was gone. That was all the time we had. I remember the day it all changed, I went to work. It was a nice Fall Thursday and I was gearing up for my annual fundraiser Mega Party that I am in charge of. I had recess duty that day and we had just walked outside. I had my phone, first aid kit, and a walkie(fyi I teach kindergarten we use ALOT of band aids!). I got the call in the middle of recess and the next weeks just flew by. I had no idea that day how much our lives had changed, but in some ways I am glad I didn't know. I had no idea that I only 6 months left with my dad. I had no idea that I would not have what I referred to as my "advisor". I guess I am glad I didn't know because there is no way I could have learned all I needed to from him in 6 months.

I say all this, once again knowing that we are learning our "new normal". Please do not get me wrong I know that people lose loved ones everyday and I honestly can cope without having him here and knowing he is in an amazing place. However I have two little guys at home that I would have loved for him to see grow up and see the men they will become. However that was not God's plan for our lives and we are slowly accepting that one day at a time. It's funny how when you lose someone, some days are easier and some days are harder. It's also interesting to me how God puts unexpected people in your life and you never really knew why, but now you do or maybe even takes people out of your life. I never questioned God's reasoning in my dad's illness or why him, I think the thing I did question though was How are we going to do this without him? I know we will, I know we will make it, some days easier some days harder, but we will do it because that is what he would expect me to do.

So my dad is absent, but truly not forgotten. Yes there are still nights I cry myself to sleep and there is not a moment in each day that I do not think about him or pass a picture in our home and think wow I miss you. My kids talk about him all the time because he is still so fresh in their minds. Carter has asked many times when Papaw comes back from Heaven we are going to do this................but on the flipside Ian has said someday when I go to Heaven I will see him.

I guess coming back to my blog I didn't really know where to begin, but felt it was important to pay honor to the amazing, strong, courageous, focused, inspiring, devoted man I called Dad.

Puppy Chow for now, but not for forever.........

Our Angel Dog sent from God

2011-03-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this story with it was not in our plans to get another dog right now:) However Jeremy and I have had many discussions about getting the boys a BIG dog. We knew they were both at the age where they could use a companion for the backyard and dog that they could get rough and rowdy with. I have done a lot of research on big dogs that were good with kids and did not shed(because of Carter's allergies and asthma). This led me to a boxer. I have read a lot of articles and talked with many people that have boxers and we knew that was going to someday be the perfect big dog for us. About 2 weeks ago we were over with my Dad and Jannie and I saw an adorable boxer behind their fence. Carter walked up to the fence and the poor little guy was barking, howling, and moaning like crazy. We tried to pet him, but he wouldn't let us. It was getting dark and we headed home. Everyday that cute boxer met us at the fence. The fence was his protection and that was as close as we could get to him. About 4 days went by and it was decided that we would keep dad at home and start Hospice, so I was led by God that it was also my time to take off work and be with him and Jannie in his last days to help take care of him and support them both. I made this precious face my project............................................

I decided that I was going to get this cute "little" fella to warm up to me. I started feeding him everyday and was making progress. Well Jannie found some leftover roast in the fridge and she decided we should heat it up(which cracked me up!) and feed it to him. So we did! After I was done and my hands were covered in grease I was truly BUSTED! I heard this man in uniform say, "excuse MA'AM" I went to the fence to talk to him and he informed me that he had been trying to catch that stray dog since before our big snowstorm which had been about 3 weeks ago and me feeding him was not helping his job be any easier. I then informed him that my dad was in that house dying and that dog was making my job easier and had given me something to focus on. He said well if you can catch him you can have him, but you won't catch him! That afternoon I sat in my dad's favorite chair on the back deck to watch the dog and saw that the animal control officer had a trap set up he had been trying to catch him in. So the dog stuck his head in kept his booty up in the air, ate all the food and the jumped out as quick as he could and popped his trap! Apparently this had gone on quite a few times because he was a pro! Officer had told me he was smart and if he didn't catch him in one more week he was going to shoot him. Well that my friends did not go over well with me! So the next morning it was pouring down rain and I thought this could be my chance, so I went out and opened the back gate and laid some dog food in the yard. I stood over to the side and waited for him to invite himself in and then I quietly danced over and shut the gate. He gave me that I am going to escape look, so I thought it would be best to go in and let him get comfortable before I forced myself on him. When I went in Jannie decided we should just leave the door open and let him decide when he was ready to invite himself in. So he got closer and closer to the door........then the cat Tac let him know he was not invited in! Had to pen Tac up in the bathroom, very strong willed cat! After a couple hours passed he walked straight into the house, came right to, and gave me a big lick on the face. My heart melted for this sweet dog at that moment!
Then I loaded him up and off to the vet he went. He was about 25 lbs underweight, but all in all looked good and healthy. We took him home loved him and gave him a wonderful home.............for 3 days and then we found a listing on Craig's List for a boxer that had been missing since the first of February. There were pictures posted and it was definitely the sweet baby I rescued. We discovered it at 11 at night, but I called the number anyway knowing that I needed to take him home that night because our poor boys are already going through so much heartache.
I got in contact with Cassie who I kind of felt like I had known all my life. Tucker and I loaded up in the middle of a tornado I might add and off we went to his home. He actually only lived about 2 miles from us, but he had gotten spooked one night took off and could never find his way back. Cassie and I sat and talked until almost midnight(keep in mind Cassie and both were concerned that the other one might be a serial killer!). That is when I learned Tucker's story. He was raised with a child that had a terminal illness and that explained to us why he was so comfortable with my dad and all his hospice equipment. It also explained why he was so quiet and gentle with everyone. From there Tucker had come to live with Cassie and her sweet family. She runs an in home day care, so he was used to kids and so good with them. Cassie and I laughed and cried and visited about sweet Tucker and what an amazing dog he was. I left Tucker and cried all the way home, not because I had found his sweet owner, but because he had brought so much peace to our life for the past few days. I kept saying he was my project from God, he kept my mind busy and once I caught him he captured my heart. I got home with a heavy heart and Jeremy's face dropped when I walked in the door without him, but we had lost our Yorkie Simon of 8 years when Carter was born and no one every returned him to us and we were so devastated, so our hearts felt good and we knew he was reunited with his family.
The next morning bright and early our phone rang and it was Cassie, Tucker's owner. She had been up all night and had prayed over our family and over Tucker. God brought her the peace of knowing that it was time to let Tucker go to our family. Cassie said she truly believed Tucker was a healing dog and as hard as it was when he ran away it was obvious now that God had another plan for Tucker and he was meant to be with us. Tucker is not with us by coincidence, but because God had a plan for him in our family. I can't tell you what an amazing person Cassie is. She discussed it with her husband and her mother and they were all in agreement that Tucker needed to come home to us. I could not get out of there fast enough! I had to take both boys to school and we had already decided to tell the boys that Tucker was with my dad, so that we wouldn't have to tell them he was gone until after school. I sped back to get my new boy Tucker! Well his official name is Tucker Ranger Jackson because the little boy that raised him from his hospital bed named him Ranger because his favorite show was Walker Texas Ranger:)
Again I can say this dog getting lost is no coincidence. He braved the rain, ice, snow, and many nights in the cold to get to our family. When I saw him behind their house I knew I was going to capture that dog's heart and I did and he has captured mine and everyone else in our family. So welcome to our family Tucker Ranger Jackson and thank you for coming to us at this difficult time in our lives and thank you to Cassie for having such an amazing heart and faith in God! Even though the days ahead are going to be difficult for all of us, we truly believe God sent us Tucker as blessing to put a band aid on our heart during this difficult time.

Why?

2011-02-20T21:54:00.000-08:00

Every night I sit here unable to sleep with tears streaming down my face asking why? I don't know why..........well I do know because life is not fair, it wasn't meant to be fair it was meant to be life. It's not always easy and it's not always the storybook picture we dream of, but it takes me back full circle to my question of WHY?
I am watching my dad die right before my eyes and all i can say is why? I want to savor every moment, every stroke of life, every breath I watch him take, every moment I see him with my boys because I know that in a undisclosed amount of time it is gone. I am not ready to lose it, I am not ready to say goodbye.
Last week our preacher did a sermon on God's will and how his will may not be our own. Well I know that after many sleepless crying nights God knows that I still pray for his will to be done, but I may not agree. This is a peace I have to find in myself and in my relationship with God. It doesn't by any means make me any less of a believer, it just means that God's plan was not my own plan. That's not always easy to cope with or accept.
I know that cancer can be beaten, I know that I watched my husband gracefully do it himself, but I am afraid that this time it will not be beaten. Glioblastoma has taken over our lives and it STINKS. We watch my dad slip from us a little everyday and it is so hard to watch. His voice, walking, feeding himself, memory............and it is so hard.
When we lost my brother not even a year ago our family came together even when I didn't think we could be closer we were. We dealt with a heartbreaking tragedy.........actually I should say we are dealing with a heartbreaking tragedy because I would be absolutely lying to you if I said we were healed we are not, we still grieve everyday. Now we know that in a matter of time we will lose someone else, not just someone else to me though it is my dad. The man that chose my name, the man that escorted me when I was Homecoming Queen in college, the man who gave me away to my amazing husband on our wedding day, the man that I asked to be with us when our first son was born, the man that my boys adoringly look at and say Papaw! I have always said there is God first and then my dad.
How do you let go of that? Better yet how do you watch it slip away? I can honestly say I do not know. I do not want to sit and wallow in self pity, but I can honestly tell you at the same time I do not want to lose him. I am not ready to say goodbye. Even though he is one of the most Godly people I know and he will grace the gates of Heaven with a smile on his face to meet my Mamaw and my brother I am not ready to let him go.
I guess it all comes full circle to it is God's will not my own. The selfish me wants him here, the selfish me wants my boys to be able to hold onto him and have all the memories you are supposed to have with your Papaw, but I truly know that is not God's will. It is very hard to prepare my children, when I am not even prepared myself. I know God will guide us and he will comfort us and our family will be embraced, but for anyone that has lost a love one or is watching a loved one slip away know that you are not alone. It hurts it is painful and at the end of the day even though you trust in the Lord with all your heart it is okay to still ask why. I do......
Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted Matthew 5:4

Snow day anyone?

2011-02-09T13:15:00.001-08:00

Well we have the great blizzard of 2011 here in Arkansas! Last week we got a pretty good round of ice and snow and then we had a big surprise while we were sleeping last night of about 2 feet!!!! Now keep in mind here that the weather forecast had predicted 4-6 inches, so when you are expecting 4-6 and you wake up to almost 2 foot of snow that is a SHOCKER!!!! It is beautiful and we have loved watching it snow all day! I haven't seen a snow like this.........well maybe ever! We knew we had to get out in it, if nothing else to just pictures of the boys in it! So that we did! With that being said here are a few things my family has enjoyed on our MANY snow days we have had this winter.....................................................

Lounge in front of the t.v. watching Little Rascals, Cars, and anything that is super entertaining to a 3 year old and 8 year old!

Make homemade snow ice cream and eat it for lunch!!! YUMMY!!!!

Bury our dog in the snow!
Give momma some lovins!!!

Relax with daddy!

Make Valentines for those we love:)

Bake homemade muffins!!!! and of course make the house smell super yummy!

Snuggle with those you love!

Muffins weren't enough so bake some pies!

Lounge and growl at your momma while she takes your picture. Notice laptop, Uno cards, and tv is going on all at the same time!

Try out new soup recipes! This one is chicken and potato gnocchi....copycat of a soup at Olive Garden! Also made Zuppa Toscano and they were both delicious!!!

Games! Of course!!!

and puzzles!!!

and more games!

Not to be forgotten Daddy pulling us on the sled behind the 4wheeler!

It has been a fun winter to say the least! Yes we will have to make up quite a few days of school and yes it has gotten us off our schedule of sports and extra curricular activities, but it has been worth it!! To me it is God's way of saying SLOW DOWN enjoy life spend time together without having to go anywhere. Spend time at home and enjoy your family. So we listened and we have enjoyed every minute of it!!! Thank you God for this beautiful amazing gift you have given us, some of your finest work!!!! Seize the day!!!!

Book Talk-Letters to God

2011-01-22T19:57:00.000-08:00

For all you literacy extraordinaires you can appreciate a "book talk". We encourage our students to share their love of books with their peers. Even in kindergarten we want the kids to share books that they enjoyed and tell us why they liked it. So tonight as I finished a book I felt like I had to share it with the world(or okay maybe the handful of people that read my blog :). About a week ago my stepmom aka Tata gave a me book and told me that I would really enjoy it and wow she was right. It was such a touching story and I related to so many aspects of the story.This book is amazing. We have had so many things go awry in our life that I just sit and wonder the whys and hows of life. This book is a fiction story written by an author that lost his own son to a battle. This book is a masterpiece of hope and a faithful spirit. Even when life is tragic and you just don't know how you can muddle through another day, this book shows you how to have hope. The story begins with the tragic death of a young woman's husband. While trying to heal from this tragedy her 7 year old son is diagnosed with brain cancer. Even though this situation is not the same as ours, it is similar life experiences. It feels like my life of just when we have come up for air we are knocked down yet again. It makes you see that you can survive and that you have to continue to have hope and trust in God. Whether you do that in prayer, letters, quiet time, bible study. You have to do what your own spirit and soul need. This book shows how important it is to stop and think about our faith and where it is or maybe even how you show it. I am not an in your face church goer, never have been never will be. But do I have a strong faith, do I have a relationship with God? Absolutely! Do I spend my quiet time everyday with him whether it be in devotion or prayer? Yes! I just am not an in your face person. Do I talk to my friends about my faith, scripture, and prayer, uh yes you can just ask one of my very best friends Melissa! We have this discussion many nights about what comforts us or helps us. Many nights we have said WHY or HOW COME or WHAT NEXT and our conversation always ends as this.....I will continue to pray for you and she will continue to pray for me.
The book ends with this scripture:
You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everybody.
2 Corinthians 3:2
Just as the child showed me in this book we are Gods word, walking, living, breathing. Not everyone may read the bible however we are his bible walking through each day that everyone will see and read.

Dear Strep Throat,

2010-11-27T17:56:00.000-08:00

You have truly inconvenienced me this week. I have tried to be very nice over the past week however my patience are now wearing very thin. I have not been able to see my best friend since her husbands funeral on Monday, I did not get to cook a Thanksgiving meal for my family, I missed every deal on Black Friday(however I was leaning towards not going if I am going to be honest :), I have not been able to feed my family or even touch the laundry, I did not get a head start on my Christmas shopping, and most importantly I did not get to paint my kids room before they come to put in new carpet next week. As a matter of fact the biggest inconvenience was that there are NO doctors open during the holiday week! I mean none and I refuse to go to the ER for a sore throat, body aches, and fever. Carter and I toughed it out until Friday morning then we hit the Mediserve clinic that immediately(okay not immediately after MUCH miserable waiting because none of their doctors were open either) told us we had strep throat. They were barely able to swab Carter's throat and it came up as strep throat before the swab even touched the test. So off we miserably drove to the pharmacy........can you guess what happens next???? They weren't open! Next stop Walgreens where they can't fill them right now, but come back later today and they will fill them. *Please note that I am glad all these places are closed because that lets me know that people are getting to be home with their families which is so important during the holidays.*
Not to think I am negative Nancy, but I will tell you a few positive things that happened. One is that Nana was able to come and cook, clean, sanitize, laundry, and be at Carter and I's beck and call. Another thing is that Tata took in Ian as soon as we got sick(nothing new because ever since dad got sick he has decided that he moves in with them on the weekends), so not only did he enjoy his time there, but he was also spoiled rotten!
So let me complain a few more moments about this strep throat journey and then I will hush it up and finish healing. My youngest son now truly thinks that a Thanksgiving feast consists of pigs in a blanket, chicken nuggets, and fries because he totally missed Thanksgiving. Tonight when we gave him his dinner he said I am so happy I have my own Thanksgiving feast! I couldn't burst his bubble and tell him everything he missed out on..........he can see it next year! This could have been very bad news for a little Tank like Carter who loves to eat.
So strep throat we are fighting you off! We are taking our medicine like clock work and we are sleeping on the couch together every night. Please please please it is time for you to go and not come back again for a really long time.
Sincerely,
Jill

Time is a magical thing......

2010-11-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

I have replayed my blogging comeback many times over the past few weeks. I have no words that can express how or what I feel appropriately. However the thing that continues to weigh heavy on my heart is time. How do you measure it? How do you make sure that you embrace every moment? How do you know if you have enough? How do you know when time is up?
So many questions have whirled through my head on time. In a matter of 2 years my life has drastically changed. My husband has proven to be a survivor and beaten cancer which we pray everyday will not come back. I lost my brother and his wife in a tragic accident. Just as time began to heal our hearts our family has faced yet another life changing experience. My dad has been diagnosed with brain cancer. Our lives have changed our time has changed. I hold on to every moment not knowing if it is my last. I realize after all these life altering experiences that tomorrow may not be like today. It all comes back to time for me. I want to spend as much time with my dad and I want my kids and husband to do the same. When you face a terminal illness such as what we are facing you don't know how much time you have. The doctors can guess and you can look at a loved one and know if they are feeling good or bad, but you don't know how much time you have. As we walked into this journey I vowed to myself that I would savor every single moment with my dad and with my family. No regrets, no looking back and saying we should have. I want my boys to have every memory they can have. I want to feel my dads hand on the back of my neck as many more time as I can. I want to feel him squeeze my hand and kiss my check as many more times as God will allow. I want to see my boys crawl in his lap and smile a little while longer. My dad has said as a family we will accept Gods will because that is what the bible tells us to do and we will. I know it will not be easy and I know some days are harder than others, but what I do know is that we have TIME and we will enjoy every single moment of it that God allows us to have together.

One more sleep...................................

2010-07-16T17:31:00.000-07:00

and I can pick this adorable guy up! I can't wait! I would like to say I have been counting the days, but I have actually probably been counting the hours and minutes. Ian has been away from home many times usually no more than a few nights. However he is always with family or at his best friend Jett's house and I can talk to him whenever I want. So him being gone for 1 whole week and not getting to talk to him has been SO hard for me. I really don't know who missed him more me, Carter, or Jeremy. When you have gotten used to being a family of 4 and one leaves for a week the dynamic changes. Carter has been so needy and so lonely the whole week. We have tried to give him extra special time while his bubba was gone, but let me just say he wants bubba home NOW! Wanted to share a few pictures of our first journey into Camp War Eagle. From the sounds of Ian's postcard, a few pics I have seen, and a little birdy I would say that this will not be our last trip down War Eagle Lane(at least I have a year to prepare for him going back........in that I mean emotionally prepare!). This is when we pulled in and he was tagged with his cabin number. I knew he was in good hands when he met his first counselor and he started jumping up and down like a crazy person cheering for Ian's first time at camp!

Getting Ian's bunk ready for a weeks stay.

The bus ride from the parking lot to get Ian signed in and ready to take his swim test. Which he passed with flying colors!

This is one of the swimming areas. Slide, trampolines, Blob, log rolling, and so much more!

Ian had his fingers crossed all the way out to camp that him and Micah would get to bunk together and he was so excited when he found out they would not only be roomies, but also bunk mates!!! This helped put mom at ease too :)

Pretty toasty, so glad we invested in a fan!!!

Daddy really wanted to stay, but Ian said NO WAY!

My boys! A little birdy has told us that Ian has spent A LOT of time here!!!!

This camp has so much to offer. Jeremy and I were amazed at all the activities and staff this camp has. Ian's postcard said that he has played mini golf, archery, and sockball(I am sure I will understand this better once he gets home). Well you have seen the camp through my eyes, so my next post will be through Ian's eyes. I just know that he has had a blast and will be counting the weeks until the next time. I know this time tomorrow I will have my big boy back home and I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!! There are so many questions I want ask, so he better be ready for a late night date with momma!!!!!!

Dear MOJO please come back to me..............

2010-07-09T21:07:00.000-07:00

Okay I have not updated this blog since May. I read this and thought May really.......I mean it is already July. Trust me when I say it is not because time has flown by because I can honestly say this has been a very long 3 months for our family. I honestly have just lost my mojo for my blog, facebook, chat, etc. I remember when Jeremy was having surgery and going through chemo and I was so inspired and so much to write about and say. However right now I feel very lost at what direction to take on my blog. I want to get back to regularly scheduled programming, but for some reason it is not as easy as I thought it would be. Looking back I remember in high school thinking next is college then marriage then babies. It all happened in that order just as I thought it would. Then after everything happened in just the right order I feel as if the floor fell out from under me. Don't get me wrong I am BLESSED I am blessed beyond belief I am just a little lost in this journey of life. So for all my amazing friends and blog buddies out there I am coming around slowly but surely. Praying for God to get me back on track for the sake of my family, friends, and upcoming new kindergartners I will be meeting very soon.

The man who stole my heart.........

2010-05-26T17:53:00.000-07:00

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways......................................................

1.I have spent 11 amazing years being married to the man I prayed for God to bring me when I was becoming a woman. I never knew what was in store for our lives, but had I not had Jeremy I don't know that I could have made it through some of the times in my life.

2.He still gives me butterflies in my tummy when I see him walk across the room or when he comes in from work. I can still look at him and get that feeling in the pit of my stomach that I got 15 years ago when we started dating.

3.Jeremy embraces life. He lives day to day. Laughs, smiles, and enjoys. Doesn't worry about what others think he moves through each day with a smile and confidence.

4.He is not one to send a big bouquet of flowers or buy extravagant gifts, he takes time and thinks about what he is going to do. Such as a beautiful bouqet of flowers that he put together with all the flowers down to the exact same color from our wedding day(most perfect thoughtful romantic flowers ever), he doesn't just get a card he gets the perfect card and if he can't find it him and the boys make it. He knows it's the little things that warm my heart.

5.I prayed for a man like my dad. I prayed for a Godly man, a good father, a patient man, and a man that would enjoy life with me.

6.He is an amazing father. When he walks in the house every evening the boys fly into his arms, so happy to see him. He will spend every day he has off with the boys. Whether it be hanging out at home playing or taking them to a ballgame. He has a great balance with the boys, they have fun and enjoy, respect him, and listen to him at the same time.

7.One of the most important, he makes me LAUGH. I can't imagine life without laughter.

8.In the worst of times and the best of times he is there. As we always say, when we took our vows no one said it would be easy and we both know it has not, but we never waivered we never gave in we have always stood strong and stood together.

9.He is my balance. I am the planner he is the spontaneous one. I tend to be more conserative and hold back he says jump in feet first. I can stress about small things and he says relax. Nothing frazzles him. I can get so stressed out over the smallest things and Jeremy will always tell me if it gets done it gets done........no worries. Unless we are out of clean clothes then I sense a little stress :)!

10.I LOVE him with all my heart. I plan to grow old with him and carry out all the plans God has in store for our family.

Happy Anniversary Jeremy it has been an amazing 11 years!

I loves you always.

As life goes on......

2010-05-09T14:53:00.000-07:00

Do you remember that show Life Goes On? That is what this post made me think of. I haven't posted on my blog in weeks. Partly because it proves to me that life goes on and part of me is because I have kind of avoided some of the parts of my everyday life: blog, facebook, lesson plans, etc. Well I have had to pray many nights to accept the fact that life does go on. I may not necessarily like it or be happy about the absences I have in my life, but life in fact does go on. Please don't think I do not realize how blessed I am because I am I know that. I have 2 wonderful children, an amazing husband, the most supportive and strong parents anyone could ever ask for, and the best friends in this world. However my heart still hurts, I still lay in bed at night and pray and wonder why, I still have to stop and realize at some points that this really happened. Then for my children I have to stop and realize life goes on. We still have birthdays, we still lose teeth, we still celebrate good grades at school, baseball games, potty training, etc. Somehow for a few weeks I forgot all that existed and now I am at the point of grieving where I still hurt so bad, but for the sake of my children, my husband, my family, and my friends I know that I have to accept that life does in fact go on. With that being said I am sure that I will still share some of my grief, some of my memories and most importantly my faith in God.
Two very special boys in my life celebrated very special days in the month of April. Carter turned 3 and Ian turned 8. Carter had a party at Jump Zone and it was a blast! The beauty of his party is that Bo, Lori, and the girls were there. Carter had a great time and you can tell by how incredibly sweaty he was! We got some amazing pictures of his party from a good friend of ours Brandy(thanks again Brandy, you gave us some amazing memories we had no idea at that moment how much we would appreciate them). Ian had a skating party. Ian and his friends had a great time! I actually remember seeing a few moms and dads having a great time too. Thank you to all of you that made the boys birthdays so special.

I love this picture for 2 reasons. One you can see Bo watching his nephews and daughters playing like crazy! Two I am holding one of my best friends sweet baby girl that Carter spends everyday with. I love her to pieces!

Dear Bo,

2010-04-14T20:22:00.000-07:00

I feel like I have so much to tell you, but you aren't here, so the next best thing was to write you a letter. I really want to share it with my boys someday, so what better place to put it than my blog. I wish I could hug your neck one more time, I wish I could see my boys steal your hat one more time, I wish I could watch you throw Ian up in the pool one more time, I wish I could see you sitting on my couch with your wife and so in love one more time, I wish I could look behind me in church and see you sitting in the pew behind me one more time, I wish that I could spend one more 4th of July with you, I wish I could see you and Jeremy posing for one more goofy picture, I wish I could see you in one of your goofy Harley Davidson t-shirts one more time, I wish I could open Christmas presents with you one more time(in age order and one at a time:). There are so many wishes I have, but I have to let my pain and suffering go. I know that as soon as your soul left this Earth you crossed the golden gates of Heaven and met your Heavenly Father. You were a Godly man and as selfish as it is of me to want to have you back, I know with all my heart that you are with our saviour Jesus Christ.
Remember the Christmas we got our Laser tag? We woke up our parents shooting our laser tag everywhere with all our gear on? Remember the time you tried Skoal for the first time? I laughed my butt off and still do every time I think about it! Remember the time we drove to the 7-11 and bought coke icees, but didn't buy lids because they had the price of the drink by the cup and the lid and we thought you had to buy the cup and lid separate and we knew we wouldn't have enough money for candy, so we opted out of the lid? By the time we got home we had sticky coke everywhere! Remember the time we rode our bikes to Harps and dug through the dumpster and brought home what we thought was the best cantaloupe ever? We were so proud and our parents were laughing so hard! Remember the time your mom bought a yang load of corn and we had to shuck it for HOURS????? I still hate shucking corn to this day. Remember the time when we went camping and you mooned us every time we turned around? Remember the time we got glowworms for Easter? Remember the time you held my children for the first time? Remember the time Ian pulled Carter in a wagon at your wedding as your ring bearers? Remember the last time I saw you? I do it was at Carter's 3rd birthday. I can remember exactly what you were wearing, our exact conversation, and exactly what you had been doing. I remember hugging before you left and telling you I loved ya. I wish I had known that was the last time I would hug you. I wonder if I would have hugged you harder or longer. I know I would have, but it would have been hard. Honestly I probably wouldn't have let you go. It was so nice that you were there because you were actually working on your house that weekend and weren't even sure if you were going to get to come to Carter's party, but you did. You took a break from what you were doing and brought your family to my son's party and for that I will always be grateful. That was like your last good deed to me. I know a 3 year old birthday party was the last thing you had on your mind that weekend, but you came and praise God you did. That will be the last moment I laid my eyes on you. The last moment my children got to hug their Uncle Bo. Praise God we had that day, praise God we had that time, praise God we had that moment. For that I am so thankful.
Faith and time is the only thing that will heal my pain and heartache, memories will get me through the hard times and family will get me through each and everyday. I pray my boys can grow up with the heart, faith, determination, and strength you had.
I wish I had been there that night to hold you in your last seconds of life. I wish an angel could have moved that truck. I wish I could have seen you one more time. I can't wish or want any longer. I have to move forward and accept that you are gone. My brother has gone to Heaven. Uncle Bo has gone to Heaven.
I do want to warn you that your wild and crazy nephew is looking for a way to protect you. He said he really needs his gun(Nerf gun that is :), so that he can protect Uncle Bo and Aunt Lori and make you safe again. It broke my heart, but at the same time gave me peace and validation on how special the two of you were in his life. I already knew that Ian thought you hung the moon. He has expressed that on many occasions, but with Carter he is so young and I needed to know that he knew how special you were. He does and I know that.
I need nothing to know that you loved me. I need nothing to know how special you were. The one thing I need and I want I can't have back. I will meet you in Heaven. Sometime, someday, somehow. I pray that the good Lord allows me to raise my boys into strong men as you were. I pray that God grants Jeremy and I the time to give them the faith and values we were taught. I pray that you look down on us from Heaven and smile. I look up at you smile everyday.
I love you to Heaven and back,
Your lil sis
PS I was only your lil sis by 2 months and about a foot and a half.

I have no words

2010-04-06T02:44:00.001-07:00

My stepbrother and his wife were killed in an accident on Saturday night. I have no words of what to say or how to express the hurt our family feels. We do have so much comfort in knowing they walked through the gates of heaven together hand in hand just as much in love as they were on this Earth. I truly believe they both waited their entire lives for one another. Destiny, fate, true love, soul mates......they were all of it. The day they married I knew I had gained not only an amazing sister in law, but also 2 beautiful nieces. Bo and I never really remember life without one another his mom and my dad married when we were both very young and we were only 2 months apart in age. These 2 amazing people were the most giving people you could ever meet. I know I have so many more things I want to say, but again I have no words. Praise God they are in Heaven, but here on Earth our hearts still ache to see them one more time, hold them one more time, watch my boys jump in their lap one more time. Bo and Lori you were two amazing people and I love you both so much. I miss you more than my heart can express. May you rest in peace.

Please pray for Taylor and Carli. Lori brought 2 beautiful girls into our family. They have a wonderful support system that will help them through each day, but pray for these girls that not only lost their mother, but lost a stepdad that was so near and dear to them.

Funeral arrangements are as follows:

Visitation-Wednesday April 6-6:00-8:00 at Backstrom-Pyeatte Funeral Home in Springdale

Funeral-Thursday April 7-12:30 at Robinson Avenue Church of Christ in Springdale, burial will follow at Fayetteville National Cemetary

An Amazing Journey-Zac's Story

2010-03-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

When Jeremy was first diagnosed with colon cancer in June 2009 I began blogging. This was where I found comfort and I also wanted a way to document our story for our 2 boys when they were older. I have found a place to have my blog printed into a book and I am having one made for each of the boys. I just sit and think about when they are our age(still young at the ripe age of 32 :). I know that they will read our story and see our faith and think wow look at our dad, he was strong, he had faith, and he did all this for us. As I blogged I began to meet amazing and inspiring people. At that point I knew that we were not alone, that there were people going through the exact same things and feelings that we were. There is something very comforting about knowing that you are not alone and there are people out there that can say we know how you are feeling and they truly do. One day I received the sweetest email from a very supportive friend, her name is Mandy and her husband was and still is battling colon cancer. He is a 33 year old man who has Stage 4 colon cancer. He has continued to fight a very good fight. I just want to say that this family needs our prayers. The family has had to call in hospice and the fight is getting harder. However they are an inspiring family with an amazing faith. They are members of an amazing church and this video has been an inspiration during their services and also been seen across the internet. Please pray for Zac, Mandy, and their 3 children. Mandy has been an inspiration to me over the past 10 months and we continue to email back and forth each month to check on each others status. I am so thankful to our heavenly father for the glorious news we have received, but I have to say my heart hurts so bad for them. Mandy has been so wonderful in celebrating our wonderful news even as she prepares to deal with something we never thought we would have to deal with at the young age of 33. I pray for this family everyday. I ask God to wrap his arms around them and let them be blessed in each and everyday they have left together. I think so much of you Mandy. Sending lots of love, hugs, and prayers to your family.

This is a link to the video that was produced through their church. It is such an inspiring video on Zac's faith and his story:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ojj02nobl4
Here is Zac's inspiring blog:
http://hellorighton.com/

Kites one day...........SNOW the next

2010-03-21T11:37:00.000-07:00

Friday was Kite day at our school. This has been a tradition at Asbell for about 40 years. The kids love it and it is especially great when the weather is so beautiful. I have been at this school for almost 11 years and this has to be the most beautiful perfect kite day we have ever had. The sun was shining, the wind was blowing, and the kids were having a great time!!!! Jeremy came over on his lunch to help Ian fly his kite. Thank goodness because I am a great picture taker, but not much of a kite flier

Then 1 day later we have this.........................................................................................................

Isn't that crazy! I mean the weather man kept saying snow, but this is a BLIZZARD. Well to us folks in Arkansas it is anyway! So Sunday morning we got up and went to church(along with only 9 other people!) and then came home to build a snowman. This was our first snowman all together! It was fun, but super COLD! Carter doesn't have much time for building because he has to eat as much snow as possible while we are out there. We have to watch him like a hawk because he will just pick up ANY snow and eat it! It was a great day, but this is some CRAZY weather. The last time I remember having snow like this on spring break was in 1999 the spring before Jeremy and I graduated and got married. We came up to see my Dad and Jannie over spring break and got a TON of snow. This is exactly what it reminds me of. I must say though that snow is much more fun with 2 wild boys to play with in it! Weather in Arkansas! Who would have thought sunshine on Friday and snow on Sunday! Did I mention that we now have a foot and the snow is still falling?

Dear Spring Break,

2010-03-17T19:32:00.000-07:00

I have been counting the days until you arrive. I only have to wait your arrival 2 more days and I cannot wait. Please please please be everything I have dreamed of. We have no plans, but to enjoy the whole week and play. I hope you live up to all my expectations. Oh yes and if the sun could shine that would be wonderful. Look forward to seeing you soon!!!! I can honestly say you actually can't get here soon enough.
All my Love,
Jill

P.S. If Carter could become full time potty trained over the break that would be absolutely blissful!

TADA!!!!

2010-03-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

I finished! I could not sleep last night, so got up and decided to finished my quilt! I am so proud. Believe you me it is not perfect, but for my first sewing machine venture it is pretty darn good :)!!!! If you wonder what project comes next.......already went to the fabric store and stocked back up! Carter helped me pick out some cute puppy dog fabric. So going to start my next quilt this week! I warn you it is addicting and therapeutic!

Napkins Anyone?

2010-03-08T19:07:00.001-08:00

Looks like a table of napkins doesn't it? Well not throwing any parties here at the moment.....I have actually taken up a new hobby. These are quilt squares! I don't what is going on, but I have been bitten by the craft bug. I love to scrapbook, alter things, knit, and now I have decided to take up quilting! I really want to learn how to sew. I have a great sewing machine, but I only use it for some mending here and there and for my scrapbooking. So basically my machine has sewn on a few pieces of fabric and lots of paper! Well I decided I wanted to make something and really use my machine to all its potential! Now notice I did not say I would be a pro, I just said I wanted to learn :). So between 2 of my great friends Shelly and Sharon I am now a monster and I can't get my hands on enough fabric. Oh and by the way Jeremy thanks you too(insert sarcastic smiley face here!). So these squares that look like napkins are fabric squares for my first ever quilt, it is actually a rag quilt. I hope to have it finished by the end of the week and I will post pics. If it turns out(which I hope and pray it does!) I promised the boys we will go back to get more boy friendly fabric(not sure why they don't want the pink quilt!). I love how they have full confidence in me though and are already picking out their own fabric for me to make them a quilt! So project #1 is underway and my great friend Brandy has promised to teach me how to sew using a pattern. We are going to start with pajama pants! The skies the limit at this point! Ever since Carter was born......well I haven't been able to do much.......hence the tornado post! I mean he gets into EVERYTHING! As you know many craft things can involve sharp tools and with Carter around not the best decision ever made. Did I mention the time Carter cut his hair when I was gone to Little Rock and no one noticed! It was the first thing I noticed when I got home, it is just now grown out where you can't tell! Well as much as I hate to say it Carter is growing up a little bit and he does kind of let me do things again. I mean I sewed this weekend and he watched. We use the look but don't touch motto. Now he was very tempted, but he was so excited about playing outside that he really left my stuff alone, so I am slowly dragging my craft stuff back out and it feels GREAT! So hopefully I will be posting pictures of a finished quilt soon! Don't you love how a mom of 2 boys picked the girliest fabric ever!

Taken with Taekwondo

2010-03-03T18:50:00.000-08:00

Well the title says it all! Ian is definitely taken with taekwondo. We signed him up when Jeremy first got diagnosed because we had been throwing the idea around for months. At that point we knew the timing was perfect and it would give Ian his own thing and his own goals! Well he has definitely attained those goals. We traveled to his 2nd taekwondo tournament a couple of weeks ago in Conway. Well we had no idea he would come home with 3 medals! I mean obviously we would have been happy with one, but 3......we were QUITE proud! Okay so I know a lot of this taekwondo lingo means nothing to some of you, but out of respect to my taekwondo expert I will use the proper terms! Ian got 1st place in his weapons competition. He competed with his new nunchucks that he was so excited about learning. Ian's wonderful taekwondo instructor came up to Asbell over our intersession week and taught him what we call lunchroom nunchucks! He had his first crash course in the Asbell lunchroom and can I say that must have been a lucky spot for him because got 1st! He got 2nd in his form and another 1st place in one step. He didn't place in one steps in his last tournament, so he went to his tournament ready to get revenge! Well he got it! I honestly could not have been more proud of him. Not because he brought home 3 medals, but because when he was waiting to compete and the kids around him were going buck wild crazy he was sitting there just like a black belt would! He was such a good sport. I am sure many of you have been to sporting events where there are those few parents that are not good sports and unfortunately they let everyone know it! Well Ian never let this phase him. I also love that after he won he was so excited and proud, but not over the top. He wore his medals with pride, but in no way rubbed in any ones face about how well he did. At one point he even took them off and put them in his bag. I mean it was honestly those moments that made me so proud! Now on the other hand I was skipping through that gym not having any trouble telling people what he won! I mean if I wasn't a grown woman I would have worn his medals! Okay so I was a proud momma! Ian was so excited because Jeremy got to go with us and then Nana and Grandpa Ted met us there. Of course his BFF Jett was also there, so Ian's day was made! Daddy's day was made when we stopped at Russellville and ate at Whattaburger!

Now I do want to say that when kids are involved in extracurricular activities such as this two things matter. One is you will get out of it what you put into it and this to me shows with Ian because he practices ALL the time. He is obsessed, but that is good and part of the reason he is so successful! The second is the coach or teacher makes ALL the difference in the world. I must say that Ian's instructor Mrs. Gray is SUPER AWESOME! She is phenomenal and there are no words to say how great she is. It doesn't matter if this woman has 2 kids in front of her or 22 kids she has the kids learning and captivated. Ian loves her and pretty much believes what she says or does is gospel! The values she teaches the kids is amazing! I can honestly say it is one of the best decisions we have made to put Ian in taekwondo and it definitely came along at the perfect time in our lives.

Many have asked what about Carter taking taekwondo and to take taekwondo you have to be potty trained. As you know from previous posts he is great at putting lots of things in the potty, but unfortunately none of it is things that are supposed to be there..........if you know what I mean! Don't get me wrong though Carter does his own version of all the moves, so his day will come I am sure. I mean he may be 6 years old, but he will have to be out of a diaper before he can start!

On another exciting note we just found out that Ian got accepted into Camp War Eagle for this summer! We are so excited! I mean I am of course a little nervous about him being gone for a whole week, but he doesn't seem nervous at all! I think it will be a great time for him and I know he will make so many new friends and experience so many fun adventures!

My own little Tasmanian Devil!!!

2010-02-21T19:39:00.000-08:00

I mean this in the nicest way, but let me tell you Carter is like a tiny tornado that blows through the house each and everyday. You NEVER know what he is going to do or say for that matter. For some reason we have had numerous embarrassing and maddening experiences with him. Let me just start with what was the most embarrassing. Let me begin this story by saying that Jeremy and I are neither one big drinkers. I mean we have an occasional glass or wine or he may have a beer, but it is not something we come home every night to. It is usually when we have a night out or go out with some friends. So anywho the other day I took Carter with me to Harps to pick up a few things before one of those snow storms we had coming our way(so this tells you how busy the store was!). So as we are checking out Carter proceeds to yell at me quite loudly "Wait Momma we forgot the BEER!". This was followed with a HUSH from me and of course he had to say it yet again and then broke into the chant of "I want beer I want beer!!!". As I tucked my head and paid, I quickly drove our cart out of the store and called Jeremy. I mean it only seemed appropriate that he know why DHS would be beating me home that night! He of course laughed, I mean what else can we do besides of course explain that this is not appropriate and continue to wonder how he has picked up on this.

Then a few days later on Saturday we were at home relaxing. Relaxing was the keyword there. Midway through the afternoon I decide to do a little picking up downstairs in the boys room and in the playroom. I went in the bathroom and this is what I found..............................

I mean really where does he come up with this stuff! I mean what child just walks through the bathroom and thinks hey I am going to shove 30 washcloths in the toilet? Along with some wicker decorative balls, and a little loose change? I have thought long and hard about this and it could be one of 2 things, he could be super smart and possibly a genius or completely and utterly defiant and curious and possibly a criminal or scientist! Rules mean NOTHING to this child. The worst part is after he breaks them and gets into a lot of trouble he can bat his eyes and say oh momma I so sorry and his ever famous I love you so much. Nothing phases this child....NOTHING. I can honestly say we have tried everything: timeout, spanking, taking things away from him, making him help clean up messes, positive reward systems, and hear me when I say none of this works. So after doing what I thought was the fix I pulled all the washcloths and other paraphernalia out of the toilet and went on my merry way thinking the problem was solved. Except for the massive amounts of laundry I had to then do. The next night was Valentines day and Jeremy and I are not without both boys very often and we very rarely have a babysitter, but this particular night both boys were spending the night with their grandparents and Jeremy and I were so looking forward to a relaxing night home alone. After a wonderful quiet dinner out for sushi we returned home and I decided to go downstairs and take a relaxing bath while I was down their I flushed the potty and water started overflowing everywhere. No need for details, but Jeremy and I spent the rest of our nice Valentines evening fixing a toilet! I didn't known if I should laugh or cry! It was so bad that Jeremy broke our snake while trying to fix it and used all our Draino. We still don't know what all was down there, but the toilet is now working again.

Carter eating a bowl of cereal. I mean it is okay to stick your head in the bowl. Right?!?!

It amazes me how different 2 kids can be. Ian is our rule follower and can entertain himself and is very self sufficient. He would not think of doing something that is considered a "bad" choice. Then you have the Tasmanian 2 year old. He is scared of nothing, will try anything, and will not think twice about any of it. I thank God everyday for giving Carter to us 2nd because I am afraid he would have been an only child and there never would have been an Ian!

Sunshine, Olympics, and Taekwondo

2010-02-18T17:13:00.000-08:00

Okay so our week has been made up of a little of each of these! The sunshine broke through today and it was glorious! You could tell everywhere you went that everyone had a little more pep in their step and was enjoying the beautiful day. It is so funny to me how even though it was only 30 degrees this morning, it seemed very warm. I mean when you have been living in a blizzard and below 0 temperatures it makes what we used to think was so cold feel warm! I mean Ian even busted out a short sleeve shirt, which he would wear everyday if he could.
So now that the Winter Olympics have started we find ourselves watching them every night. It is the like the one thing we all enjoy watching together, well besides Survivor and American Idol. However I seem to be the only one that will watch figure skating(go figure! I live with all boys!). Last night snowboarding was a big hit and tonight skiing. We love watching all the sports and of course the competitiveness in Ian he likes watching how many medals the USA has and if we are in the lead.
The other thing that has consumed our week is taekwondo. Tomorrow night Ian will be testing for his camo belt. I am so proud of how hard he has worked! I love that he is so eager to learn and compete. Then on Saturday we will be traveling to Conway for a taekwondo tournament. Ian will be competing in 3 things. He is doing his form(about 18 taekwondo moves), one step moves(where he is competing against another student), and weapons(he has been training in nunchucks). The best part is Jeremy took off on Saturday to go with us and 2 sets of grandparents have been asking lots of questions about when and where we will be, so thinking we will have some surprise cheerleaders! This is only Ian's 2nd tournament and the 1st one I was a nervous wreck! He however is so excited, cool, calm, and collective.
Jeremy is adjusting to the world of remission! A glorious thing to adjust to, however definitely a few unexpected bumps along the way. He went to the dentist yesterday which he thought would be a routine cleaning only to find out he isn't supposed to have any dental work done without taking a strong dose of antibiotics before he goes in. Needless to say they stopped mid cleaning. Live and learn that's our motto.
Hope you all are having a great February! Can you believe it is already mid February? Crazy to me! Where does time go?

I have a couple of prayer requests: A teacher I work with, her husband had a tumor removed. They are waiting on the pathology report this week. I pray that his results come back good. I know the scary roller coaster they are on right now and how they are holding their breath until they get some answers. I also am asking for prayers for a family member that is near and dear to us that is also waiting for some test results.

Please don't think I have left poor sweet little Carter out of this post because that is not the case at all. I am just too tired to tell you the amazing adventures of this little man. I will be posting a LONG post soon about him that involves..................................................................................................

a toilet! I know you are not surprised at all! I have to get everything fixed and repaired before I can post about a funny story that at this point is still not quite so funny!

Little Catching up to do

2010-02-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

Okay so obviously we got good news and I disappeared! Well I didn't really disappear, but then again actually I kind of did! The day after we got the good news I left to go to a kindergarten conference in Little Rock. Crazy I know! Jeremy told me I would get snowed in and I better go prepared, so I did. I was actually going for a specific speaker that I have ALWAYS wanted to hear speak.....well more about that in a few. So a coworker and I headed to the Embassy Suites in Little Rock. I know that many of you think aaww I hate that you got snowed in at Little Rock, well you can stop right there feeling sorry for me :) because it was actually very glorious. I did miss all my boys terribly however I had breakfast cooked to order every morning, bed made by some else, nap time whenever I wanted, Happy Hour, uninterrupted bubble baths, and 4 nights of uninterrupted sleep. So yes even though I did miss my boys the trip was wonderful and very relaxing. So Sunday we made the venture home and luckily by then the roads were pretty clear. The best news is that by the time I got home our house was still standing :), dryer fixed, laundry done, and of course 3 happy boys ready to see me!!!! So yes I do have a little catching up to do, but I had a great workshop, mini vacation, and made it home safe and sound. Now the bad news is that speaker I sacrificed my life for getting to hear..........yes you guessed it didn't make it! Go figure, isn't that the luck. He did try however, but the Little Rock airport had shut down and he could not fly in. I was so disappointed. I did learn a lot, but had looked forward to that so much. So Jack Hartman wherever you are I will hear you speak I promise, I am not giving up!!!!!

The WORD we have waited for............................

2010-01-26T11:20:00.000-08:00

REMISSION!!!!

We got AMAZING news today when we saw the oncologist! Jeremy is officially in remission! We are so happy, relieved, emotional, thrilled, and I could go and on!!!

Oh give thanks to the LORD, for He is GOOD; for His loving kindness is everlasting

(Psalms 107:1)

Jeremy will go back in 3 months for bloodwork, 6 months for a PET scan, and another colonoscopy in a year. Dr. B was so pleased with all his results! Remission is one of those words we have longed to hear. 8 months ago I didn't know if we would ever hear those words. Not that we didn't have faith, not that we didn't believe the doctors, but we were scared and the journey seemed so long. Now here we are in a new year with a new start! God is good, God is faithful and so are all our amazing friends and family! Thank you for each and every one of you. If you are reading this, you know you are important to our family. You have given us the prayers, support, and love we have needed over the past 8 months.

Well what else is there to say, but we will now begin adjusting back to our regularly scheduled life ;).........................................

Snow Day!

2010-01-24T13:21:00.000-08:00

For the first time in many years we had a white Christmas and then right after New Years we got another beautiful snow! Luckily this time it was cold, but not miserable. Jeremy and I decided it was a perfect Sunday afternoon to take the boys sledding! We headed over to Papaw and Tata's to sled on the hill I always sled on when I was a kid! This was Carter's first real snow day! He was too little last year and seemed to be sick most of the winter, not to mention that last year we had no snow only ICE! I am not sure who liked it better Ian or Carter, they both had a great time!

However Carter's first trip down resulted in a bit of a face plant! This is a picture of Papaw fixing his hats and gloves! He was a little scared after that, but didn't take him long to get over it!

Isn't it funny how it is so much fun going down, but much more work coming up! You can see Tata and I having to help everyone back up along with their sleds!

Papaw and Ian just beat every ones record on how far they went in the sled!

Did you know that playing in the snow is EXHAUSTING? Looking forward to our next Snow Day!

Thank you for riding our roller coaster......

2010-01-20T16:28:00.000-08:00

I truly do hope we can let you get off soon :). Today we saw how faithful our loving God is! We got Jeremy's pathology reports back and the polyps came back as noncancerous. We are so incredibly happy, relieved, exhausted, elated, emotional, and overwhelmed. Jeremy had his PET scan today and I think it was kind of a comedy of errors because the tubing came out mid scan and sprayed this sticky gel all over him. He tried to settle up with them and call it even on the PET scan charge and the Houndstooth t-shirt replacement, but I am guessing they weren't interested......maybe they will contact us tomorrow and settle up :). We will get results from the scans at his appointment on Tuesday. However we can rest easier tonight knowing those pathology reports. A big thank you to Tata, Dr. H, and Peter for making sure we got the results today. Keep the prayers going, they are WORKING!!!!

Not the News we Expected

2010-01-18T10:30:00.000-08:00

Well we got home a couple hours ago from Jeremy's colonoscopy. He is resting comfortably on the couch. How he sleeps with the tv blaring I will never know! We prayed for a clean colonoscopy and had high hopes of skipping home and enjoying our day. Well unfortunately the gastrenologist found 2 polyps that had already grown back within the 7 months of Jeremy's last colonoscopy. They removed both of them and have sent them off to pathology. We hope to get the results within 5 to 7 days. The waiting is always miserable. We are still hopeful and spending much time in prayer. The hardest part is that the polyps grew back in the exact same area of the colon resection. So basically in the same area as the first polyp that was cancerous. We are still pretty shell shocked, mainly because we were so hopeful that it would be completely clean. Many times we don't know the plan our Heavenly Father has for our life, but we are continuing to be strong and have faith. I promise to let you know the pathology report as soon as we know them. Please continue to keep our family in your prayers. Pray for healing, pray for a good report, and pray for us as we wait for the news.

Big TIMES before a Big Week!

2010-01-17T18:51:00.001-08:00

Saturday night Jeremy and I went out with some good friends! We met up at a new place in town called J.J.'s, which has some GREAT hamburgers by the way! One of my really good friends Inger who also works in my classroom at school had her girls babysit the boys. So basically we had a blast and the boys did too. I think while we were gone they played with their big dog Bosco, made cookies, built a Spongebob Lego track, read books, and watched Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. Carter got up this morning and asked if he could go back, can't imagine why!

So a few pics of our night out!

Okay on a side note I have to tell one funny story! We had planned this little night out, so that Jeremy and Inger's husband(far left) could meet, so we show up at their house and Inger's husband walks out and him and Jeremy have on the exact same sweater! It was hysterical! It was kind of at that moment we thought they would hit it off and sure enough once we got in the car it was football talk the rest of the night!

So we do have a big week coming up, in fact as I type this Jeremy is doing his prep for his colonoscopy(NOT FUN!). We have to be there at 6:30 in the morning and the procedure will be about 8. I will get to see the gastrenologist after the procedure to get the immediate results of the scope, but if they find anything it will have to be sent off. We are praying for a clean scope tomorrow. I got down on my knees this morning in some serious prayer time. There are so many things going on in our lives, friends lives, families lives, and all over the world that need prayer. On Wednesday Jeremy will have his PET and CT scan. We will get all the results at his appt on January 26. Please pray this week for good results and for the cancer to be gone! I have prayed so many times for a healing hand and that God will give us a fresh start in 2010. We really feel this is our year!

Hope you all have a wonderful week!

P.S. Frosty and Santa came down this afternoon! So they have no heart decor in their future!

Dear Neighbors,

2010-01-13T18:49:00.000-08:00

Please know that we promise you we will be taking Frosty and Santa down soon especially now that the temperatures have risen above freezing and most of the snow has melted! If they are not taken down by Valentines, I promise we will add hearts to their outfits!

I had to plug them in one last time for Carter! I think he will be a little sad when they are gone. I mean mid January, he probably thinks we are leaving them up all year!
Lots of Love,
The Jackson Family

Menu Monday

2010-01-11T17:37:00.000-08:00

Okay so every week I create a menu and post it on the fridge. This is so I can plan ahead on groceries and know exactly what we are having each night. It allows me to not only plan ahead, but also know if I need to prepare something ahead of time or if I can prepare meat for 2 different dishes. Now our normal routine is each week Jeremy and I both get to choose a meal and then we let the boys choose one of the meals. Now if we let Ian choose a meal he will almost always choose breakfast I know. Isn't that wild! He loves having breakfast for dinner especially biscuits and gravy. Now sometimes he will go for pancakes, but there has to be bacon involved. Carter on the other hand loves pasta....any kind! He also likes hot dogs! Keep in mind he is 2, so we have to give him a little guidance in his choices :) I mean if not we would have Hershey bars and Dr. Pepper every night he got to choose!

So this weeks menus is:

Monday-Breakfast for dinner(a little fancier than our normal biscuits and gravy!)

Fritatta with bacon

Oven French Toast

Tuesday-Bean and Cheese burritos with Southwest Rice

Wednesday-Orange Chicken

Thursday-Spaghetti with cheesey bread

Friday-Chicken sandwich with fries

I am a planner and I love knowing what we are going to have for dinner each night. I think it is so nice to come home and not have any decisions to make about what we are going to eat each night. Gives me more time for all the fun stuff like baths and homework;)

"Push" Present

2010-01-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

Okay so I am sure many of you are familiar with the famous "Push" present and some of you maybe not. However when I had both the boys Jeremy got me a "Push" present basically a thank you for hanging in there for 9 months and getting through all the ups and downs of pregnancy and surviving labor! When Ian was born I got a beautiful necklace with a baby blue stone and when Carter was born I got a sterling silver ring with his name engraved in it.

I decided a few months ago that Jeremy needed a "Push" present for finishing chemo. One day when I was visiting all my blog friends blogs I came across the perfect gift! I knew the moment I saw it that my search was over! I contacted the blog I found it on and they were so excited and gracious to help us with this gift. I don't know how I kept it a secret from Jeremy, but somehow I did. So on Christmas Eve when the boys got home we gave Daddy his "Push" present. I mean I know he didn't push per say, but in my mind he did, he pushed through each day, the good, the bad, and the ugly. Even when he wanted to give up he didn't, even when he was sick, miserable, and exhausted he kept going. On those days when he felt like it couldn't get any worse he would battle through. We are SO proud of him. He persevered through 6 very long months. He has been to more doctors than he has ever dreamed of going to. He has had more needles, shots, blood draws than I can ever begin to explain. Even though it got hard and even though he got grumpy and frustrated he did it. He made it! So this was our thank you to him.

Jeremy there are no words to say how proud I am of you. I know this past year has been tough and I know the upcoming tests and procedures are stressful. However the things you have done for your family and strength and courage you have endured are amazing to me. God brought us together and we truly do give one another strength, courage, and wisdom. You make me a stronger person than I could ever be without you. I know things are still tough and know it is still rough and there are reminders of that everyday, but we are making it! Praise God Almighty we have our faith, we have each other, we have our boys, and we have amazing family and friends. I cherish everyday we have together and I now take nothing for granted. So from the bottom of my heart thank you. This flag was symbolic of something you and the boys do together and something that we love to do and watch together as a family. It is something we will always have in our home and someone made it with their very own hands just for you. Thank you is not enough, but thank you for doing what you have for your family. We love you so much!

Christmas Day Pics

2010-01-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

So Santa made quite a stop at our house. I am still wondering how he got all that loot down the chimney! You can see from the pics Santa brought Ian a Nintendo DSI and Carter a train table! They were both thrilled!Our stockings were so full Santa had to lay them out on the fireplace! They were busting at the seams!

The boys got a race track from Papaw and Tata. You can see that daddy is wore out from putting it together! They loved it and those cars go fast!

The boys (and also mommy and daddy) had a few surprises throughout the day. First up Ian got a new laptop from his Nana and Carter got a Handy Manny tool bench that he REALLY wanted! He would play with it forever every time we went to Target.

No worries Santa even remember to stuff Bella's stocking with some goodies!!!!

Can you believe Santa dropped a cookie on his way back out? No worries though all the other cookies were gone. Also did you know Santa likes regular milk and soy milk? Carter is allergic to milk, so Ian thought it only fair that we put out both kinds of milk to see which one he likes better. He drank them both!

On Christmas day another surprise drop off! Papaw and Tata showed up at the door with an electric scooter for Ian and Carter his very own Harley! Now keep in mind it was freezing on Christmas, so of course they had to try them both out in the house. They were having a great time until Ian's scooter went so fast he nearly slammed into the wall and decided he would wait for warmer weather! The boys love their new rides!!!!!!
So as you can see from the pictures we had an AMAZING Christmas!!!! The boys couldn't have asked for it to be more perfect! Not that the focus of Christmas is on gifts and the boys know that. However the memories that were made were wonderful! Christmas is such a magical time and we felt it the entire season!

Happy 2010!

2010-01-05T19:54:00.000-08:00

Okay so my last week off from work I decided to get EVERYTHING in order. Housecleaning....check, bills paid.....check, drawers and closets cleaned out and organized........check, freezer stocked and menu made....check, laundry caught up and actually ahead...check, car cleaned out....check. The list goes on and on. Oh wait new pictures hung on the wall.....check, celebrated Christmas and New Years....check, and most importantly last chemo complete.....CHECK!!!!!
Ok so I did put some other things in the front seat. I didn't do much blogging, facebooking, emailing, etc. It is such a nice feeling when you have your house in order and get things back in order. I mean with 2 boys things are always crazy, but I am an organization freak. Everything has to have its place and a system, if it doesn't I go bonkers! So we started the year 2010 on the best foot! We have everything so nice and neat. Granted I know this won't last forever, but it feels so good to start the year on the right foot and to have a system in place.
For years since Jeremy I have been married I have been a Menu Maker. Every week I make a menu for the next week, this is so I know I have all the groceries I need and it keeps us from eating out and also saves money because I don't make a bunch of unecessary trips to the store. When Jeremy got sick and of course he wasn't eating much I got out of my habit and basically became a short order cook because I was fixing everyone what they wanted because I never knew what was going to sound good to Jeremy or myself. So the past 2 weeks the Menu Maker is back! I will post more on it later and post a few of my menus! I love the kitchen. I think it is a mom thing, but I love to cook and fix dinner while my boys sit at the bar and tell me about their day and of course eat dinner because they are starving by the time we get home and I start cooking!

Jeremy's last treatment is OVER!!!!!! Tuesday through Thursday of the treatment were rough, then on Friday which was Christmas day he was able to get up and actually enjoy the day with the boys. It was so nice because we had no idea how he would feel and we were so thankful that he was able to be up and play with all the new goodies Santa brought!!! Actually come to think of it Jeremy was the first one out of bed on Christmas morning! It was a wonderful day, we played, rested, ate, and relaxed all with a big fire in the fireplace.

We had Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas morning at home, and then Jeremy's family came for New Years Day. It was lots of fun and lots of celebrating. I love me some Christmas, but I can honestly say I was wore out by the time it was all over!

January is going to be a busy month as well. We continue to pray for good clean test results.

Wishing you all a Happy Healthy and Blessed New Year!!!!!

Merry Christmas to all..............

2009-12-25T19:22:00.000-08:00

and to all a good night! What an amazing day! We have had a wonderful day and now we are exhausted. Merry Christmas to you all!

Blessed Beyond Belief

2009-12-23T20:18:00.001-08:00

I have no words to tell you how blessed our family feels this holiday season. We have so many amazing friends and family members. Each day something happens in our life, on our front porch, or in our mailbox that reminds us how truly blessed we are.

Let me start my post by saying Jeremy is on what we pray is his final chemo treatment! I went with him on Tuesday for his regular treatment day and we will go early tomorrow morning to get his pump off. He is feeling like he normally does, so he is staying in bed and getting lots of rest. Luckily we worked in Santa's workshop before his treatment, so that is all stowed away! The next steps in Jeremy's treatment won't come until the first of the year. He is scheduled for a colonoscopy January 18, PET/CT scans January 20, and then we meet with Dr. B on January 26 for all results and long term treatment plan.

I titled this post blessed beyond belief because these past few months have definitely been a humbling experience and the holiday season has proved to be no different. I know I have already posted some on this and passed out many thank yous, but I just have to extend another thank you and extend appreciation from our family for all the blessing that we have received. Our tree is full of goodies! We have received meals, gift cards, money, and the list goes on. I have to be honest and tell you that yes this holiday season we knew would be difficult, but after much prayer God has provided. Through our amazing friends, family, strangers, and anonymous people :) our family has truly been blessed. From the bottom of our hearts thank you. On Christmas morning when the boys get up it will be a memory that Jeremy and I will cherish forever.(yes I am crying just so you know ;)

I am little behind on my posting, mainly because we have had a little internet glitch, but thanks to Uncle Bo we are back in business. Which means I now have some catching up to do. I have gotten so much done this week. The boys have been gone since Friday evening. We have never been away from them for more than 2 maybe 3 nights, so it has been very different and very QUIET around our house. On Friday night we met Jeremy's sister, Melanie and the boys went with her and her family for the weekend. They got to celebrate Christmas with Jeremy's family and also spend lots of fun time with their cousins Noah and Mallory. On Sunday morning they met Nana (my mom) and the boys went to my mom's family Christmas and after that they were off to Nana's house. They have been to the park, Chuck E Cheese, 2 movies, and bowling. They really show no signs of wanting to come home.......can't imagine why can you? However since it is Christmas Eve tomorrow we told them they have no choice..........Ian said you know we could stay until Christmas day! I had to put my foot down on that one, although once I told him if he stayed there Santa wouldn't be able to find them he decided it would be in their best interest to come home. So after lunch tomorrow our house will be back in the business of noise! I can honestly say the first few days they were gone I did enjoy the peace and quiet. I wouldn't turn the tv or anything on, I just enjoyed the quiet. However I am ready to hear their feet running across the hardwood floor and the loud MOMMA yells because they need something! Ask me in a few days though and I may have a different answer for you! A big thank you to Nana and Aunt Melanie! These few days of them away has allowed Jeremy to have his last treatment in a nice peaceful environment. It also allowed us to have 2 date nights! I mean we are lucky to get 1 date night, but 2 in a row was so nice!!!!

I know tomorrow will be super busy once the boys get home, but I want to wish each and every one of you a very Merry Christmas! May you all have a blessed holiday season.

Pay It Forward

2009-12-16T19:37:00.000-08:00

I have no words for the blessings we have received in the past week. I know many people have given to our family and we are so incredibly thankful for all the blessings that have been bestowed upon our family. Receiving is hard especially when you are used to being on the giving end. So many people have made sure that our family is going to have a wonderful Christmas and let me tell you, we are! Our boys are blessed beyond belief. We knew the holidays would not be easy with all that has gone on in the last 6 months, but we have continued to pray about this each and everyday. God has provided for us and answered our prayers in so many different ways. We have been touched by so many people. I just want to say that once we are over this speed bump in our life, we plan to pay it forward. Thank you to all of the amazing people in our life. Some we know exactly who you are and some of you remain anonymous. God is good and we are SO blessed!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-12-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

Cousins........no worries in the world!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2009-12-08T09:03:00.000-08:00

Well Sunday was Jeremy's 33rd birthday!!!!!! We started the day by going to church and from there we had family pictures done. Not one of Jeremy's favorite things to do, but he agreed. However who knew that it was going to be freezing cold and windy! I mean I know it is winter, but we have had so many mild days and then of course the one day we have family pictures it was miserable. We had a minisession with a great new found friend of mine Brandy(I work with her husband and they are a sweet family) who has Foshe Fotos. She is wonderful and if you need some family photos, she does a great job! I told Brandy if I can just get one good family pic I would be happy. We are going to do a full session next summer when all is done! If there are any pictures with out Carter screaming CHEESE at the top of his lungs, I will share them! He was quite the mess during the whole session. However I bribed with gum, so hoping for one decent one.

Here a few pics of Jeremy's birthday. Carter is obsessed with birthday cake! As soon as he sees any type of cake or desert he starts yelling, "we sing happy birthday NOW". Usually we just please him and sing it! However he knew on this particular day we needed candles! So we sang to daddy, blew out the candles NUMEROUS times, and then Carter stuck his finger right in the middle of the cake!

So after the family pics, we headed to Texas Land and Cattle for Jeremy's birthday dinner. It is so yummy. They have the best smoked sirloin ever! The boys were so well behaved and ate everything on their plates. From there we headed to Hibbett and got Jeremy some new tennis shoes for his birthday present. After that we decided to cruise through Target. We didn't really get anything, just walked and enjoyed all being out together. As we were leaving we decided to have a little treat from Starbucks and the boys had frozen cokes from Target snack bar. Everyone was happy! There was also a small prize for whoever was the best for our family pictures.....as you already know from reading above Ian won that by a landslide. So when we were in Target Ian reminded me that he won the 2 dollars and these wrestling cards conveniently cost 2 dollars, so I had to put my money where my mouth was!

Peppermint Mocha.....YUMMY!

Carter was tuckered out after all that celebrating!

Ok so this is payoff on a wedgie bet! Ian took the Redskins and Jeremy took the Saints. As you can see the Saints won and Ian is fixing to endure his wedgie. Yes I live with 3 boys!!!!!!!!!! That is obvious!

Jeremy is getting his 11th treatment right now. We saw Dr. B last week and got a good report. He said that all Jeremy's level continue to be good. Jeremy is still scheduled for his last chemo the week of Christmas. He will have his pump removed on Christmas Eve. From there Dr. B has put in orders for Jeremy to have a CT scan, PET scan, and colonoscopy the first week of January. After those are all complete we will meet back with Dr. Bradford and discuss results. We are praying for good results! Jeremy is praying that after that appointment he can schedule surgery to have his port taken out!

Thank yous to catch up on:

*Dave and Linnea took us to a wonderful dinner at the Country Club. We enjoyed it and the boys love going there and having dinner with them! Jeremy and I love to have the adult conversation with someone other than each other :)

*Thank you to some very sweet emails we have gotten over the last few weeks. It is so nice hear those constant reminders that you are still praying and cheering Jeremy on.

* I have to thank the Loenneke family for all the FUN times you have given to Ian. He not only has fulfilled his dream of getting to be a walker, but he enjoys spending time with your family so much. We are so blessed that Ian and Jett have become such good friends, which in turn has allowed us to become such good friends and coffee drinkers :)

*Thank you to Brandy for bringing me the new Carrie Underwood cd :) and also for the wonderful dinner and DELICIOUS cookies you brought! You are so sweet and always taking care of us.

*I am sure I am forgetting someone, but it will come to me I promise, maybe in the middle of the night, but I will remember!

Happy Tuesday to you all!!!!

Heaven on a Biscuit

2009-12-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

Well here it is our delicious dinner we had on Wednesday night! Ian's dinner of choice.....breakfast. However, Daddy requested chocolate gravy just like his Grandma Dean makes, so out came the cookbook! I have made it a few times, but this time I think I have it mastered! It was so yummy!

Chocolate Gravy Recipe

2 1/4 cups milk

1/4 cup sugar

2 Tablespoons Cocoa

2 heaping Tablespoons flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 Tablespoons butter

1 teaspoon vanilla

Heat milk in saucepan. In bowl mix sugar, cocoa, flour, and salt. Stir in enough milk to make a smooth paste. Pour into warm milk. Cook and stir over moderate heat until thickened. Add butter and vanilla. Ready to serve over biscuits!

Thankful on Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T16:11:00.000-08:00

Well as you know we had our Thanksgiving a little early, so that Jeremy could enjoy all the food. If you are wondering if he enjoyed it.........I think he had 2nds, 3rds, and 4ths.......actually I caught him back in the kitchen again after everyone left. However I looked the other way because I knew that he would not get to enjoy the leftovers after that day! We had a great feast! I took over our families Thanksgiving dinner after Ian was born. I don't know why but I wanted to make sure that I knew all the family "secrets" to put on a successful holiday meal. I think my feast has gotten better and better each year. I know I was not near as stressed this year as I was the first time I did it 6 years ago! Here are Jeremy and Carter very patiently waiting for the turkey!

Our menu consisted of:

Turkey

Ham

Crockpot dressing

Sweet potatoes with almonds

Macaroni Salad

Deviled Eggs

Hominy Salad

Macaroni and Cheese

Pretzel Jello Salad

Pumpkin Dump Cake

Pies from Spring Street Grill

Pecan Pie

We had a great day and great food!!!! I love the tradition of having Thanksgiving at our home. Ian helps me decorate and get the house ready. I am a sucker for traditions!!!!!!! One thing we do is each of get to choose one dish that I will fix for our dinner, so this year Ian picked turkey(which saved me because obviously we were going to have that anyway), Carter picked macaroni and cheese, Jeremy chose his mom's famous macaroni salad, and I picked hominy casserole(which is now a family favorite thanks to my aunt Donna!).

This picture is my bargain of the day! Our PTA cleaned out an old shed we had full of Fall and Winter decor from our carnivals we had years ago. We had a little mini sale at our last meeting, so I snagged all of the cute pumpkins, mums, and fall leaves. I got all of it for 10 bucks!!!! It was 5 pumpkins, 2 mums, and a big bunch of leaves. I was so excited! Ian helped me put it all out for our dinner! I snapped this pic when I put it all on the counter and I just loved it! Carter was so excited over it all! His expression in this pic is priceless to me!

Well I am slowly but surely catching up on my blogging after my hiatus I took! I hope you all had a wonderful time with family and friends and enjoyed your Thanksgiving feast as much as we did!

There's more than just a Tooth Fairy.............

2009-11-28T18:13:00.000-08:00

Ok so yes I am behind. I know that, but when I decided to take a vacation this week I truly took a vacation from everything. It was much needed and very therapeutic for all of us. Jeremy had treatment and it was so nice to be home with him and be able to take care of him 24-7. However it was hard keeping the boys semi calm, so that he could rest. I have plenty of Thanksgiving pics and I will try and get them up in the next few days. First things first though, I have a couple fairies in my life I have got to publicly thank. No it is it is not the tooth fairy!

The first one we call the Trashcan Fairy. Now I have to tell you upfront I hate to do trash. I hate to collect it from around the house trash cans, I hate to take out the cans, and most of all I hate to bring them in after trash day. Well one of Ian's chores we added once Jeremy's treatment started was to collect all the trash and help mommy get it to the curb and bring in the cans on Friday nights. Well miraculously there is this amazing fairy that brings in our cans every single Friday. Sometimes they beat me to getting them to the curb on Thursday, but they are always put back up by the garage door by the time I get home from work on Friday. I have a sneaky suspicion I know who my Trashcan fairy is, so I want to publicly say THANK YOU. I promise not to blow your cover, but I do feel I have to let you know how much I appreciate see those cans sitting up by our garage every Friday evening when I get home from a long week. Once again we are truly blessed with amazing next door neighbors.

My next special fairy is who we call the Lunch Money fairy at our house. It is amazing to me that I put money in Ian's lunch count and it never seemed to run out, keep in mind I only put 20 dollars in it..................over a month ago! So to the Lunch Money fairy that I know probably chooses to remain anonymous I know who you are and you know I love you to pieces. You are always there for me and do those things that no one but you would ever think about. I am SO blessed to have you and so is my family.

Well Jeremy was down most of the week with treatment. We are so glad the 10th treatment is over. It was rough as usual, but he made it through. His treatment lasted about an hour longer this week because there is a med that has been added in his treatment that is supposed to help with the neuropathy. Jeremy said he couldn't really tell a difference, but it is worth a shot even if it helps a little bit. We see Dr. B on Wednesday this week, to schedule scans and discuss the last 2 treatments. We had a wonderful and blessed Thanksgiving, we now have our Christmas tree up and thanks to Nana there are even a few presents under it. No lights on the outside of the house this year, but we are going to put up our blow up Santa and Snowman tomorrow. Hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving with your families!!!!!

Alright!

2009-11-18T16:43:00.001-08:00

My Heart Melted

2009-11-17T16:49:00.000-08:00

Conversation on the car ride home from picking up Ian from taekwondo......

Mom: "Ian are you sure you will be okay doing the taekwondo tournament this weekend without Ms. Gray there? I don't want to drive all the way to Little Rock and then you get too nervous to compete."

Ian: "Will you be there mom?"

Mom: "Of course, I will be there the whole time."

Ian: "Mom you are all I need, I will be just fine as long as you are there."

I am glad it was dark out because I teared up and thought to myself I want to remember this moment for the rest of my life.

Sluggish Sunday

2009-11-15T18:16:00.000-08:00

Well I guess it was my turn to have the "bug". I knew at work on Friday I was feeling a little under the weather, but by the time I got home I was laying watching tv getting so tired and achey. I spent all day Saturday on the couch while the boys were being so wonderful playing downstairs. Then I spent all Saturday night and all day Sunday in the bed. Thank goodness Jeremy got home early on Saturday and was home all day on Sunday. Tata came and got the boys Saturday evening, so all Jeremy had to do was take care of me. Thank you Tata! I got some good rest and the house was so quiet and peaceful...........even though I know her house wasn't! Well that is what I heard anyway:)! Did I mention how sweet my husband is? Of course nothing has sounded good all weekend, so as he came home from work he stopped and got me some of my favorite soup. I felt so yucky and icky and didn't know what sounded good, I think I fell in love with my husband all over again because he knew what I wanted even before I did. I am sure by now you are wondering what my favorite soup is! It is Tom Kha Gai a.k.a. coconut milk soup. It is from my favorite Thai restaurant called Pad Thai.
Even though I have been in bed all weekend I have gotten a few things done. I got our Thanksgiving menu done and grocery list made, worked on the boys Christmas lists with all the catalogs and flyers they keep circling things in, caught up on my blog reading, finished my 3rd Yada Yada book, and started a new book called comeback.
Last week was rough on Jeremy. He ended up having to come home about lunch on Wednesday and wasn't able to go back to work until Saturday. Of course by the time he felt better I was in bed sick. Isn't that the luck? Poor Carter too he was so ready to go bowling and we didn't get to take him! Well we have chemo 9 behind us, so now on to 10, 11, and 12. Jeremy and I both dread them so much, but we both know we are that much closer to the end. Jeremy's CEA level continues to stay around 1.7, we are SO happy for this!!! What an answer to all our prayers!!!!
Well off to take some more meds, go to bed early all in hopes to survive work tomorrow, so that I can save my sick days that are quickly dwindling.
*Thank you to great parents that always make sure that we are taken care of and always know when we need a break for mental and/or physical healing.
*Thank you so much to the Lester family for providing us dinner Friday night. You have been SO good to us.

It's a Jungle in There!!!!!

2009-11-11T19:49:00.000-08:00

Not sure if you have heard or not, but I LOVE my job! I teach kindergarten and this is my 10th year in education. I can remember when I started college I wanted to do education, then child psychology, then I questioned it and thought should I be generic and do business. I prayed and prayed for God to lead me in this decision and in the end I knew I was meant to pursue education, so off I went. Then I got hired to teach 1st grade and taught it for 6 years. I can remember saying to my coworkers, if I ever say I want to teach kindergarten just slap me because it will mean I have officially lost my mind. Who knew that I would end up in the wonderful wild jungle of kindergarten. I always thought there was no way I could teach kids to line up, wipe there noses, check their backpacks, and teach them how to function in school and become independent. Well I have to at this moment publicly eat crow! I now teach kindergarten and I LOVE it. My job is amazing! I love my students, my coworkers, and the ladies and gentleman I work with :)! However most of all I love those kiddos. The first day of school you always walk in and think oh my goodness it is going to be a long year and of course you think I may not be able to teach these kids anything! Then you get a few weeks under your belt and everyone settles in and the next thing you know you are settled into a wonderful routine and life is good. There is no feeling better than loving my life at home with my wonderful hubby and boys, but to get up every morning and go to a job I enjoy so much is such a blessing.
I keep promising to share a few pics of my classroom, so this week I took a few pics for you to see my daytime world. I mean while some people are getting to watch daytime tv, eat out for lunch, run errands, or sit behind a desk or at a computer.......I am here in this wonderful world of kindergarten. I am teaching students to read, write, count, and work with basic math skills. I am teaching students how to choose a topic and write a sentence about it. I am teaching students to work together, enjoy their friends, respect students and teacher around them. I am mending broken hearts, wiping noses, sending kids to the potty, sending notes home to parents, putting on Dora band aids. I am patting parents on the back, thanking parents for their help, meeting with coworkers on what we can do for those students that are struggling. I am creating centers activities, hosting university observers, writing lesson plans, grading papers. My job description could go on for hours, but please know that I am NOT complaining I love my job every single part of it. Yes there are days where there are more piles of paperwork than others, but when you see the kiddos learning and enjoying it, it is a blessed feeling. I have 2 kids at home and 22 kiddos everyday from 7:45-3:15. So here are a few pics of my daytime world!

Our favorite place in the room! This is where we spend our learning time together!

Our word wall on my cabinets. My desk area and my Elmo. Our school is so blessed with technology. I have an Elmo, laptop, huge screen, projector, Smart Board and palm pilot.

Our 4 brand new computers!

Our Rhythm and Rhyme center

Our Home Living Center

This is my small group area where I pull small groups and work with kids one on one.

Reading Center

My student's tables where they work on activities.

I thank God everyday for steering me into education! This was the job for me! Even though I told those teachers many years ago to never let me go teach kindergarten, I can now honestly say that I am going to happily stay teaching in kindergarten as long as I can!!!!!!! Work for me just can't get any better than this! Well unless I could teach in my living room in my pajamas and slippers!

Super Saturday!

2009-11-07T19:08:00.000-08:00

Ok a Super Saturday to me is one that we have NOTHING planned. I LOVE spending the day at home. We had NO where to go at all and it was glorious. Then as if the day couldn't get any better my grandparents came by and picked the boys up for a few hours. I got all the laundry finished up and our weeks worth of clutter put away. When the boys got home it was so GORGEOUS outside, so we hit the backyard to play in the leaves and swing. Did I mention that Carter and I took a 2 hour nap and the best part was waking up to smell my beans that I had cooking in the crockpot, so yummy! I whipped up some cornbread and fried some potatoes and served up a good ole southern meal for dinner. Then the grandparents came by for a visit and surprised us all by taking both boys home with them for the night. Okay I LOVE my boys with all my heart, but a little break never hurt anybody right? So we are relaxing big time! I am watching whatever I want on tv and I am on the laptop, the best part is no one is crawling on top of me or screaming at me to wipe their bottom or get them something to eat or drink! Jeremy is kicked back watching tv and relaxing as well! If you ask me I think it is mainly because he ate so much and he can't move :)! So let the Super Saturday continue! Hope you all have had a Super Saturday too! Bring on a Super Sunday!

Trick or Treat!

2009-11-01T11:09:00.001-08:00

What a great Halloween it was!!! Let me begin by saying that every year since Ian was born he has been sick on Halloween. It has varied from the flu, stomach virus, bad cold, etc. He has never had a Halloween where he was completely healthy and could enjoy himself. Well this year he finally was healthy and on top of that the weather was wonderful!!!!! I know this had to be his best Halloween ever! Not only was it fun for Ian, but Carter is to the age where he could walk up to doors and yell out trick or treat! It was so cute! We started our Halloween day by taking Ian and his friend Jett to a lunch at ATA with the superhero Snake Eyes. They had a special workout and a pizza lunch. They had a great time! After that we came home and rested up for a fun night of trick or treating! The three of us dressed up and headed over to the grandparents for treats and pictures! Yes I did dress up.....you will just have to wait until you see the pics below! After that we came home and daddy had the 4 wheeler fired up because when we trick or treat he is our transportation service. We hopped on and headed around the circle where we live. Tyler, Ian's friend from across the street went with us. So we had an Everlast Boxer, an adorable pirate, and Ozzy Osbourne! The boys got a TON of candy. Carter would march right up there to the front door with them, just like he was as big as they were. I had worried it was going to be cold out, but the weather was perfect!

This is the boys Halloween morning!
My Everlast boxer and pirate

Proof that I did dress up! My good ol' faithful Raggedy Anne costume that my stepmom made for me years ago when I was in college. I love that costume now just as much as I did when she made it for me. Thanks Jannie! Carter did not know what to think of me in that wig! He said I no wear that hair!

Ozzy Osbourne and my tough boxer

Part of their loot!

A huge thank you to Mrs. Granbois for the bright blue monster cookies she got the boys!!!!! Carter was covered and it was demolished by the time he finished it!

So as you can see a good time was had by all. Jeremy's treatment last week was a ROUGH one. He was wore out, exhausted, and had a lot of pain until about Saturday. However on Saturday morning he was back up and at work. We were so happy that he was able to trick or treat with the boys. We went this morning and got his hair cut REALLY short, so now it is all blended together. One of the guys is getting really nervous that he is gonna have to end up shaving his head right in the middle of winter because of a promise he made to Jeremy when he was in the hospital! No meds, no dr. appointments this week, we are so happy and going to enjoy the nice break.

I have to say THANK YOU to a dear friend of mine Melissa. We have been friends since college. We both pledged Chi Omega and immediately hit it off. It is funny because we are the same, but different if that is possible. I am loud and goofy, she is quiet and shy. I am a risk taker, she is more on the conservative side. However when we pledged Chi O we immediately became best friends and have stayed that way even after we left college. I love that I can call Melissa and cry, scream, complain, or just visit. She is the person that can always say the right thing and know exactly what I need. There are no words to tell you how much her friendship means to me. The only wish that we both have is that we lived closer together, but the great thing is I know she would be here in a heartbeat if I needed her to and I would do the same. Melissa you know right when I need a pick me up, a special treat, phone call, or text. I don't know what I would do without you. I am so blessed that God put us in that pledge class together in 1996, I could have just easily pledge the year before you got there, but I didn't I waited. At the time I didn't know why I had waited, but it is very clear to me now. I won't go into detail only because I know you wouldn't want me to, but THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. I love you so much and thank God for your friendship everyday.

Well we are using today and our extra hour as recooperation from our week. Between trunk or treats, chemo, dr appts, Halloween, taekwondo, book club, etc. we are exhausted. Of course everyone here is munching on candy and will be all sugared up again by the end of the day! All the boys grab a piece every time they go by. I can resist most of the candy, but when they start giving out homemade cookies, brownies, etc. for Halloween that is when I will be in trouble!

Hope you all are having a Happy Fall!!! Now we go from costumes and candy to planning our turkey dinner!!!!

Treatment Tuesday

2009-10-27T07:28:00.000-07:00

Well here we are for another week of treatment. Treatment number 8 is underway. It wouldn't be a treatment day if he wasn't grouchy right? :) Well no worries because he is! However he is taking it like a champ! Nothing new to report, but I have a week in review of pictures from all our exciting events last week. We had Pa Jack here for a visit, Ian had his Mega Party at school, and we went to a trunk or treat.

Mega Party

At Ian's school we do a Fall fundraiser every year and if the student's sell at least one item they get to go to a Mega Party. Then according to how many items they sell they get more prizes at the party. Ian, thanks to many of you was the top seller in the school! He got to build a tiger and choose an outfit, get tattoos, do all the bouncy slides, and got some cool prizes. Thank you so much to all of you that supported his fundraiser efforts! We now have a great new playground in the back of our school!!!!

Trunk or Treat

We went to a trunk or treat at Ian's taekwondo school ATA. It was so FUN! They had lots of games, costume parade, LOTS of candy, and of course trunk or treating. The boys had a good time. I will say this is the first time that I saw Carter a little nervous. He was a little confused at the costumes and seeing a witch in person and not on tv. He would just stand there and stare at all the people. Usually he is the "wild" child, so it was a little out of character for him. Mrs. Gray is so wonderful she had this HUGE spider on the ceiling and they knocked it down and candy went everywhere! It was like a HUGE pinata!

Ian drawing a pumpkin on a plate on his head!

Playing wrap the mummy with help from moms!

Ian and his friend Jordan

My adorable little pirate!!!!

Good Times with Pa Jack!!!! Pa Jack doesn't like getting his picture made, but I did get a few of him and Carter playing baseball with a flag as a bat! Carter was belly laughing, he was so tickled!!!!!

Well Carter is our kitty cat kid! Ian and Jeremy are dog lovers and I can go either way, I just love pets in general! However Carter loves kitty cats. He is begging for a kitty cat for Christmas and Jeremy was freaking out saying we are NOT getting another cat. I then explained to Jeremy that he doesn't want a real cat, he wants a Fur Real Cat stuffed animal that he saw on tv and he is determined that he is gonna get one! You think he will :)????? So this is Carter and our kitty cat Gabby. Gabby actually lives outside, but occasionally likes to make Jeremy really mad by slipping in the house! She is the biggest love bug ever and if Carter had it his way she would be indoor all the time!

My head is spinning!

2009-10-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

Okay so this past week has been WAY busy and this upcoming week proves to be just about as busy. I always forget how crazy this Fall part of the year is. I mean with the everyday hustle and bustle of school and activities, you add in Halloween, parties, pumpkins, etc. This week has been a wonderful week for all of us! Everyone is pretty healthy again except for the occasional coughs here and there. Jeremy has felt great this week which has been SUPER nice especially for him.
We had our first Halloween extravaganza last night at ATA(Ian's taekwondo school). It was a trunk or treat and then a Halloween party with games and a TON of candy. The boys had a lot of fun! Ian had lots of friends there, so he jumped right in and had a big time. Carter on the other hand was a little unsure of all the costumes especially the grown people dressed up. He was so excited to see a witch, but only wanted to see her from afar! So needless to say we came home and pigged out on candy and it's not even Halloween yet!
Jeremy's sister is so sweet! She bought her dad a plane ticket to fly in and spend a few days with Jeremy. Jeremy and the boys picked him up from the airport on Thursday and he is flying back out today. It has been such a great visit for everyone. Jeremy and his dad have enjoyed their time together just hanging out and of course lots of eating! The boys have enjoyed Pa Jack being here because he likes to PLAY! They have wrestled, played ball, Playstation, and the list goes on and on. We will be taking him back to the airport today to fly back to Texas. Thank you Melanie for this visit! Jeremy has enjoyed it so much as well as me and the boys. You are a great little sister!
Tuesday is a chemo day and this will be Jeremy's 8th treatment. It is always so hard because right now he feels so good and then by mid week he knows he will feel so crappy. Keep sending those prayers that is what gets us through each week.
Be watching this week for pictures of a cute little pirate and a tough boxer!

Living with Karate Kid!

2009-10-18T13:54:00.000-07:00

Ok maybe not Karate Kid, but taekwondo kid! Ian started taking taekwondo when school started this year and he LOVES it. He has counted the days until he could test for his orange belt and Saturday was the day. He of course passed with flying colors. So we are now officially living with an orange belt. He is breaking boards and everything.........scary I know! Ian loves to play baseball and basketball, but the thing I love about taekwondo is that it is all the time and he is very committed and dedicated to it already. I have to give a shout out to his wonderful instructor Ms. Gray. She is great with the kids and offers so many extra activities at ATA. So here are a few pictures of Ian from his ceremony! You can see in the first picture Ian is sitting like a black belt and the next picture is of Ian and Jett. Jett is actually who got Ian interested in taekwondo. Jett is also Ian's BFF! They have been inseparable over the past few weeks. They are actually very much alike and hysterical when they get together. A big thank you to the Loenneke family for all the fun Ian has had at your house the past few weeks and of course allowing his dream of being a walker after school :)

Okay so as many of you know I had to write War Eagle a letter asking them to please not tell my husband how much I spent at the craft fairs this past weekend! :) Here is a picture of a few of my goodies. Of course many are hidden until Santa comes on Christmas. Trust me I did buy quite a few things for myself and lots of Christmas goodies for others. My friend Brandy and I went and had a BLAST!!!! I have been counting down the days to this for weeks. I think Brandy and I will definitely make a tradition of taking off work and making a day of it! One of my favorite things I bought was my pot with Santa and the reindeer and also my set of granite wear bowls! I also got an adorable Kindergarten Rocks shirt, but I had to order it. Now don't think I just spent my money on craft goodies.......there was also a lot of food involved :)! We had pumpkin pancakes at Mimi's for breakfast, from there I had a big roasted ear of corn on the cob, corndog, tater twisters, and a lemonade. Very yummy and it was a special day so we went all out!!!

Ok so I have mentioned our saga with Carter's sleeping arrangement and so he has officially graduated to the big boy bed. Now I am definitely not saying that is an easy adventure nor am I saying that we are completely done with this transition however we are making baby steps. He has slept in the big boy bed for about 3 nights. However after we put him and Ian to bed he takes it upon himself to move to the stairway and lay there and listen to Jeremy and I watch tv. On Saturday I laid Carter down for a nap and came upstairs to get a few things done. I thought I heard him on the stairs, but then it got quiet. A few minutes later I went to the stairway and there he was sound asleep! The first night we had to send him back to bed like 30 times and every night the number has gone down. We will see how the week goes! The good news is the crib can now come down!!!!!! It's one of those things that is exciting and sad at the same time. My baby is growing up!

Ian is now feeling much better! The Tamiflu was a lifesaver for him and Jeremy both. Carter began getting very icky and snotty, so we started him on a z-pac and he is doing much better too. Thank goodness for great doctors!!!! Jeremy rested most of Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. He was back to work on Saturday and we have enjoyed a great day at church and playing at home with the kiddos today. The good news we received this week was that Jeremy's CEA level went from 3.7 to a 1.7. Dr. B wanted the number to start going down and not up, so we are SO happy!!!!!!!! After getting good news form the PET scan this was definitely the news we wanted. Hope you all have a blessed and wonderful week!

You don't want to take me to Vegas.......

2009-10-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

my luck runneth out! Okay so this has definitely not been the luckiest week for us. I mean as if Jeremy having chemo isn't enough we now have Ian sick with the famous swine flu. I mean seriously we can't catch a break! Ian has been running a high fever, coughing, and having terrible body aches. I took him to the doctor today and after being swabbed and checked out........Dr. F said swine flu. I sat there thinking seriously is this really happening to me..............yes it is! So off to the pharmacy we went for a bunch of Tamiflu and some heavy duty cough syrup. No breaks to be caught here! We had to have our heating unit checked out this week because a friend of ours that has a heat and air business came and checked it and was worried about it. Well rightfully so because they shut it down and unhooked it and told us we need a whole new unit. Wow definitely not what we wanted to hear, but so glad that we had it checked because that kind of stuff scares me. So now we are in the market for a new heating unit. I warned you at the beginning of this that it was an unlucky day.
Now in the meantime Carter has taken it upon himself to decide that his crib is a jungle gym. I tried this summer to move him from his crib to the bottom bunk in his and Ian's bedroom, but he would not hear of it. Well the past few nights we have had an escape artist at work. The funny part is he comes upstairs in a disguise so that we won't see him! He came up with a laundry basket on his head, a big quilt, and a football helmet. So after about 20 trips back to his bed last night I decided okay that's it tonight he is moving to the big boy bed. Well he was excited because I put the side rail up and moved his pillows and blankets. I knew it was too good to be true because as soon as the lights were out he was crying and jumping out of that bed quicker than you could blink. At one point he snuck out of the bed and went to the staircase and laid until he almost went to sleep. After about 10 trips tonight the house is finally quiet and I think he may have crashed. Well quiet except for all the people coughing in this house! I keep wondering at what point the cough syrup will kick in!
Jeremy came home about 2 today and has been napping and resting all afternoon. He is very red and said he just feels really bad. He will get his pump off in the morning and now will get to start Tamiflu. Praying that the next 2 days he will be able to rest and be comfortable. I know he won't feel great, but just to be able to relax and feel comfortable will be relief for him.
Well had to give a quick update on our misfortune this week! It will all be okay though and we will get through the flu, heater, coughs, etc. just a little bump in the road on our journey.

Happy Tuesday!

2009-10-13T09:09:00.000-07:00

Well not too much to report today. Jeremy is getting his 7th round today and is very sleepy! For those of you that don't live in Northwest Arkansas apparently the sky has fallen out because we have had SO much rain it is crazy! I do enjoy rainy days, but please give them to me when I can be at home curled up with a blanket, good book, and my boys playing!

Wanted to share a few pics today. Here area few of Jeremy's lunch that I cooked for them last week. Can I just tell you that these men can eat! I swear I have never seen anything like it. They must have liked my food because they said I could cook for them ANYTIME!

I know I have said it so many times, but these guys have been so good to Jeremy. We praise God for them each and everyday. I know when I am at work and he is in the middle of treatment they are checking in on him all day. The funny thing of the lunch to me was I am so used to eating with women and when women eat together we sit and visit and eat and laugh.........well not them, they fixed their plates and many of them headed to their desks. No time for visiting for them, they had food to concentrate on! Too funny! I guess to them they have their priorities straight!

Ok well I have told you about my wonderful friend Melissa and all the meals, babysitting, Sonic, and love she has provided us, well on Sunday she brought us meals for the entire week. Enchiladas, soup, fettuccine, and lots of deserts and goodies. She is so good to us! Definitely takes a load off of me for the week and I also know that when Jeremy is home he will have good hot food to eat. Well on Sunday night we cooked the enchiladas she made and to say that Carter liked them would be an understatement because he LOVED them. I mean he dug into them like crazy! See pics below :)!

On Sunday we had a game day! We played Twister, Guess Who, Animal Soup, and watched 2 movies! It was a nice lazy cloudy day. The boys had so much fun and we did too!

Well Jeremy's pump is beeping which means he is about done, so we are both headed back to work!
Thank yous:

*Thank you to the Loenneke family for all the time Ian got to spend at your house over the October intersession. He had a great time!

*Thank you to Melissa and Ms. Linda for the yummy food and great desserts! we appreciate you two so much!

*Thank you to everyone that calls, emails, and checks in on us each week.

Purring Like a Kitten

2009-10-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

You know how you have all those little projects and messes around the house that just seem to pile up? Then on top of that your to do list is a mile long???? Well that is exactly how I felt...........until NOW! I have had so many little messes that have piled up, kids stuff, my stuff, work stuff, doctor papers, etc. etc. etc. On top of that I have had a ton of errands that I needed to run, my classroom cleaned up, my van cleaned out, the refrigerator stocked, Sam's Club run, laundry, and the house cleaned. Well I was determined this week I was getting it ALL done, yes you heard me ALL of it! As I said in my previous post my mom came and did the house cleaning and laundry and once again Praise the Lord for her coming! I also cooked a meal for Jeremy's work as a thank you for all they have done for him and how supportive they have been to our family emotionally and financially through everything we continue to go through.
I really wanted to return to work tomorrow and feel a sense of accomplishment and I do. Our house looks better than it has ever looked. All the laundry for once is all put where it goes. We have meals for the week(compliments to my wonderful friend Melissa :). My classroom is ready for me to walk into tomorrow and hit the ground running. Thanks to my mom for giving me the entire day on Tuesday to get everything done I needed to, in fact her exact words were do not come home until you have to look for things to do! It was so nice, no pressure to rush and hurry up.
I am an organized person and I like for everything to have a place, so when things get piled up it drives me crazy! So tonight when I crawl into my CLEAN sheets :) I can continue to purr like a kitten and know that everything is in its spot. Carter better not play in the clean toilets and mess up my clean bathrooms!!!!

Here's the Downlow

2009-10-09T13:10:00.000-07:00

Ok so things have been a little crazy around here because my mom came to help out with all the appointments we had this week and of course help me get the house in order. I don't know what I would have done without her here. My house is now spotless, laundry completely done all the way down to sheets and blankets, and groceries bought and put away. It feels wonderful!

Jeremy's appointment went well. We did get a good report on the PET scan. Jeremy will still have 6 more treatments of chemo. There is one blood level they are a little concerned about it is his CEA level. The CEA level is a blood test they use to monitor cancer patients, especially colon cancer patients. CEA testing is used to see how the body is responding to the therapy. Jeremy's level was initially 0.7, but has risen to 3.7. They want it to stay low and not go above 4, so they are going to test it again in 4 weeks. Dr. B says that if it continues to go up he will need to have a few more tests run. So we are saying BIG prayers right now are for this CEA level to go back DOWN. Praise God for the wonderful news on the PET scan! The lymph node they were watching had shrunk down to normal range and nothing new showed up, Praise God!!!! Jeremy will have his next treatment on Tuesday and continue every 2 weeks from there. As I said in the last post the one disappointing thing is that Jeremy will have treatment Thanksgiving and Christmas. However this is kind of a blessing in disguise because it will mean we will be able to get all his treatments in before the end of the year........which of course for insurance purposes is good. Dr. B is planning to schedule a PET scan before the end of the year, probably right after Christmas. He was very pleased with Jeremy's progress, but hated to hear that the treatments are getting harder on him. Jeremy has started losing his hair which of course is not an easy thing, especially when the temperature has dropped from 90 to 40 overnight....crazy weather!
This has been a good week for Jeremy, he feels good and has gotten to spend a lot of time with the kiddos because of us being off this week.

The house is unusually quiet, so I am going to take advantage and relax a little myself! Hope you are all doing well and staying dry and warm!

God is GOOD and prayer is amazing!!!!!

2009-10-07T09:34:00.000-07:00

Praise God from whom all blessings flow! Jeremy's PET scan came back good! The chemo is doing exactly what it should be. Jeremy and I both skipped out of there with smiles on our faces! The only bad news that we got is that Jeremy's last treatment will fall on Christmas, but we are not going to complain about that at all! Thank you for the continued prayers and support. I will post more on his appointment later, but wanted to give a quick update(from the parking lot of the Oncology clinic!) so you all would know how his appointment went.

Unexpected Road Trip!

2009-10-05T06:04:00.000-07:00

For those of you that know me I am a PLANNER. If we are going on a trip I plan for months, if we are going to the grocery store I am a list maker, and at work I have to do lists everywhere. I can't stand to not be prepared and organized with things going on in life. So when Jeremy calls me on Saturday and says Dave has 4 tickets to a Kansas City Chiefs game tomorrow at noon, my first thought was uuuuuhhhhh NO Way I mean the house is a mess, laundry is not done, Jeremy had been not feeling well all week. Stop for a minute and put yourself in my shoes, I live with 3 boys and they all LOVE sports, so everyone was hanging on my last word. I paused for a moment and thought remember what we promised we were going to do, live day to day and moment by moment. I would be breaking that promise if I said no way. So I told Jeremy we would see him in about 4 hours and be ready to head out. Did I mention that at that moment we were at a swimming birthday party and about to get in the water! Of course there was no leaving a birthday party, so the boys had a blast swimming at the Jones center and then we raced home. The nice thing was 1 outfit for everybody and some toothbrushes and we were good to go. I was still worried because Jeremy had a very rough week with his chemo, but I knew he really wanted to go even if just for the boys, so I trudged on picking up toys, taking out trashing, finishing up last minute things around the house. Jeremy ended up getting off early and we pulled out about 6pm on Saturday evening. We got to KC about 9:30 and checked in our room. The boys of course were so excited to stay in a hotel, Jeremy not so excited about being cooped into a hotel room with 2 boys running wild!

We got up on Sunday morning had breakfast at the hotel and then went in search for a Wal Mart. As Jeremy said, "when in Rome doe as the Romans do!", so off to find some Kansas City Chiefs gear for the kiddos. They each got a sweatshirt hoodie(which they were happy about because it was chilly) and a hat. Off to find Arrowhead Stadium and once there join the massive crowds of tailgaters. So glad we got there early because there was LOTS to see and Ian would say LOTS of people wearing pajamas! Not sure why but a bring trend at the game is to wear KC Chief pajama pants and of course Ian noticed it right off.

Well unfortunately the Chiefs lost, but we had a great time! Carter wanted some chicken as soon as we got there, so we had chicken, fries, and as you will see from the pictures lots of popcorn! This was our first NFL game and they are WILD! The atmosphere is unbelievable, music, dancing, crazy people, it was a little bit of everything!

Before we went on this surprise getaway Jeremy had a really rough week with his chemo. His face again was extremely red and he felt horrible. By Saturday he was beginning to feel some better, but Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were rough. I was afraid we were going to end up back at doctor for meds and fluids, but he was a trooper and made it through. So when this offer came along we realized that God was putting a great opportunity in lives to get away and we needed it terribly. As soon as we pulled out of the driveway and pulled onto the bypass I think we both felt so relaxed and that point realized how much we needed a getaway even if it was just for one night.

As I type this Jeremy is back getting his PET scan and CT scan. We will get the results at his appointment on Wednesday. Please continue to pray that we will get good results on this scan. We are both incredibly nervous, but ready to get some results and see how well this chemo is working. Please continue to pray for Jeremy and our family this week as Jeremy has these tests done and waits for the results.

After the game we went to one of our favorite places for dinner. Joe's Crab Shack! It was so yummy and they have a big playground which the kids love. Carter again had chicken :) and Ian had shrimp. It was a yummy meal and we had a lot of fun! However we knew once dinner was over the party was over and we had the excursion home ahead of us!

Now I told you we got popcorn at the ballgame and Carter ate on that popcorn ALL day! Actually I think he is still eating on it today! For 10 dollars you got 2 drinks and that big bucket full of popcorn! Definitely got our moneys worth! He ate on it through half the game and then we stopped to get a snack along the way and he didn't want any candy he wanted the popcorn!

*A Big thank you to Dave for thinking of our family and giving us the tickets to the football game, they really couldn't have come at a better time for us.

*Thank you to the Lester family for the dinner you provided us last week when Jeremy was going through chemo. It was a rough week and couldn't have come at a better time.

*Thank you to Pa and Ma for the yummy peach cobbler and all the goodies you brought us from the grocery store.

*Thank you to Dad and Jannie for keeping the boys so that I could be with Jeremy for his PET scan.

*A BIG thank you to Sharon for always telling me to go and helping me to know that I do not have to be 2 places at once because work comes 2nd and my family comes first.

Halfway Point!

2009-09-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

Well we finally feel like we are halfway there! Today Jeremy is receiving his 6th chemo treatment. I will say he is getting a little bit irritable :), but he is hanging in there. This morning when he got up he said I do not want to do this anymore and then he tried to talk the nurse out of his treatment.......needless to say he lost out and is getting treatment. His blood levels are looking good. His hemoglobin level is a little low, but they are going to continue to watch it each week. I am so proud of how he is hanging in there. Next week will be a big week because they are going to do another PET scan on Monday and we will get the results at an appointment with Dr. B on Wednesday. I would like to say we are not nervous, but we are definitely nervous and holding our breath. We have been praying to God everyday that the PET scan will come back with good results.

Jeremy felt really good this weekend, so on Sunday we took the boys to the park to feed the ducks and play. They were so excited! It was surprisingly quite warm out, so Carter of course sweated like crazy! I swear that boy can run across the living room and break a sweat........just like his daddy. There are lots of park pics! The boys had fun and my favorite part of the day was watching Jeremy crawl through the tube because Carter didn't want to do it by himself and also watching Ian take care of his little brother. Carter was scared of going across the bridge, so each time he would go over that way Ian would hold his hand to help him get across the bridge, it melted my heart. Brotherly love........most of the time!

I shared my book I was reading last week that was so good, The Yada Yada Prayer Group. I finished it this past weekend and loved it, so last night I got on Amazon and ordered the next 3! I am counting the days til they get here! I have all next week off and lots of time to be spent at the doctors office, so I am hoping they get here before then! I bet Jeremy is hoping so too because it means more time on the computer for him! If I am into a good book I don't fight him for it! A new book I have been reading was given to me by a lady I have known and worked with for a few years. Her husband has also been going through the cancer battle and she shared an amazing book with me. It is called When God and Cancer Meet. The author of this book is a colon cancer survivor and had many of the same procedures and chemo that Jeremy is having done. She shares her story and many other cancer survivor stories throughout each chapter. It is a very uplifting book and ties in numerous cancer stories and their faith. The book was exactly what we needed and I feel so blessed that Sandra got it for us. I get many messages and emails from people that read our blog because they are either going through something similiar or they know someone who is, so this is a wonderful book to pass along to them.

Ok so now I have to share the most touching story ever. Last Thursday Jeremy and I met at his softball teams game. We haven't been able to go to one because they play on Thursdays and usually that is Jeremy's day he doesn't feel great and usually rests a lot, so this past Thursday Ian and Jeremy had a dinner date after school(story for another time :) and Carter and I had a dinner date with Ashley, Lexi, and Ayden. Afterwards we met up at the softball game. Unfortunately Cobra Kai lost their game, but after the game they wanted to get a team picture because the day of Jeremy's surgery in June they played in the tournament for the championship and won!!! The team all gathered around and they presented Jeremy with the 1st place trophy. Jeremy and I were both speechless. It was the absolute sweetest thing they ever could have done. They said the night of the championship game when Jeremy was in the hospital they said they were going to win for him and when they won they were going to present him with the trophy. We had no idea about this, but we were both so touched. I will post pics of the team as soon as I get them. As you can see the boys had to pose with the huge trophy when we got home. They are determined that trophy is going in their room! Temporarily and I do mean temporarily:) it has a special spot in the living room on the computer armoire, but eventually we will put it in their room. I can't tell you what a special group of guys and girls this is! Jeremy has played with them for years and really misses playing this season, but plans to be back up and on 3rd base next year! Thank you to Cobra Kai, it means a lot to Jeremy and myself! Hoping you bring home another trophy this season!!!!!!!

Thank you to our wonderful neighbors once again for taking care of all our yard work and for the wonderful food you always bring to us. Once again we are so blessed to have Jim and Lisa in our life. When we moved into our house, the house next door to us was empty. I remember wondering who would move in there. Little did I know at that point how important the family that moved into that house would be in our life.

Please pray for Jeremy's PET scan next week, we are praying for good news! Also pray for his treatment and that his body can continue to tolerate it in a fairly comfortable manner. One thing that I have been praying for this week is that God will continue to bless our family. As I am sure you can imagine the medical bills pile up and become a little overwhelming, but God continues to provide for us. Our family has been blessed. When this started Jeremy and I made a deal, he focuses on getting well and I will take care of the paperwork and bills. I am kind of bad because as soon as I get the mail I have to hide it because I will catch Jeremy pondering over everything and freaking out, so I hide everything. I know Fall and Winter will be a slower time in the car business, so I pray everyday that God will continue to bless us and help us to provide for our family.

I hate to disappoint with no toilet stories this week, but Carter has managed to stay out of the toilet for an entire week! I am not holding my breath though! Hope you all have a blessed week!

Wordless Wednesday

2009-09-23T17:39:00.000-07:00

SUPER Sunday!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-20T19:41:00.000-07:00

I should say Super Saturday and Sunday! This was such a glorious weekend! I can honestly say tomorrow I will go back to work rested, organized, and ready for a great week. I feel like the past few weeks we have just kind of skated by and things around our house have been a little helter skelter and this weekend I finally rested up on Saturday and today we got ALOT done around the house. It is so nice! We have not had many "normal" weekends or days since about June, so it was so nice to feel like we had some of our regularly scheduled programming back! Ian once again spent the entire weekend with his friend Tyler across the street, so that left Carter and I on our own all day Saturday. For starters Carter and I slept in until 11:30..........no need to go back and read that again, I did say 11:30. I know you are thinking ok this is the child that used to not sleep and when he did sleep he had night terrors and now this woman is telling me he slept until 11:30, it's for real and it was glorious!!!!! When I rolled over and looked at the clock I could not believe my eyes! Once Carter and I got up we had a little brunch, watched tv and of course some football, snuggled on the couch, and watched it rain. We cooked up some meals for the week. I fixed a Mexican lasagna(that is one of Jeremy and I's favorite), lasagna, and chicken. I decided I have to get back to my old menu making. Each week I make a menu for the week and try to fix a few of the dishes ahead of time since the week gets so busy when we are in school. The fun thing that Carter and I did was make homemade clay. He got to choose the flavor of his clay and he chose chocolate......just like his mommy would have!

Carter's little hands at work! This is him making a motorcycle! He of course did have to try the clay a few times, but I don't think it tasted that good!

So Jeremy's poor "Honey Do" list has been adding up for a while now, but I have not wanted to bother him with it. Well this morning he made the mistake of asking me what I needed done and off I went! I think he wished he had never asked! I had closet rods that needed to be hung, dustbuster hung, tv moved, gutters cleaned, backyard cleaned up, and some bushes trimmed. Can I just say that the husband of the year award goes to Jeremy today because he got it all done for me! He was even going to hang pictures for me, but we need some more picture hangers, so he got out of that one! I don't know what felt better, getting all that done around the house or seeing Jeremy feel like working around the house. It was so nice to see him have energy and feel up to doing all those things. The boys enjoyed the day so much! Of course I had to get a few pics of the boys doing their hard work! Yes Ian is helping Jeremy clean out the gutters and yes grandparents he is VERY careful! He has strict instructions from daddy when he is up there. He gets up there once a year and he loves it!

Aren't they cute? And our gutters are clean! What more can a girl ask for! Jeremy, Carter, and I went to church this morning and it was our annual outside service. This is Carter's favorite service of the year because he gets to sit outside on a big blanket with mommy and eat through the entire service! He doesn't have to be still or quiet which he loves! When we got home from church we decided to have a little pancake breakfast. Jeremy and I cooked breakfast together and I discovered that he was quite the chef. He was a little choosey on the pan he made his pancakes in and kept a close eye on my bacon I was in charge of! I learned today that I live with Emeril! Just teasing :) We had a great breakfast and the boys chowed down on pancakes......did I mention that Ian had already had breakfast with Tyler! Life with boys involves ALOT of groceries......I am learning that rather quickly!

You can go ahead and name me Mother of the Year because yes Carter did wear his hair like that to church today...........I mean it was outdoor service!

So obviously you can see from the pictures that Jeremy is feeling very good right now. Treatment this week was a little rough Wednesday through Friday, but by Saturday he was perking up a little and by today he was feeling good. He is still have a lot of trouble with the neuropathy, but he is learning to deal with it better and better each time. No appointments this week! Then chemo #6 the next, then we will be half way there!!!!!

I am reading the best book right now. My dad and stepmom got it for me for my birthday and I can't put it down.

I have been so interested in prayer and researching and reading about how powerful prayer is and this book is about a group of women that met and formed a prayer group. It is a great book and I can't wait to pass it on to others to read. I am a HUGE book sharer and have a group of girls at work that we circulate books all the time. It is great and a huge money saver. When I was looking for a picture to post on my blog of the book cover I found that is a book in a series and there are 7 of them. I am a huge series reader, so my day has been made! If you are looking for a good read this is a great book!

Well I have posted lots of different random things, so guess I should sign off for now! A few thank yous before I go:

*Once again a big thank you to Murphy and Angie for letting Ian spend the weekend with Tyler, watch the Razorbacks, and eat like a pig! Also a big thank you for all the goodies you brought us from your Tyson shopping trip. Our freezer is stocked!

*Thank you to Lisa next door for the yummy ham you made! The boys had big sandwiches tonight and already packed some for lunch tomorrow.

*Thank you to Linda for taking Ian to school last week on Jeremy's chemo day and thank you for Ian's surprise trip to Barnes and Noble. You made his day and he LOVES his Diary of a Wimpy kid book.

*Thank you to Melissa for always looking out for me and Ian and making sure we have everything we need.

*Thank you to Nanny a.k.a. Barbara for taking such good care of Carter each and everyday. I couldn't ask for a better place for him to be everyday. He loves you more and more each day he is with you. Thank you to Kambree for being his number one buddy! I promise to get some pics of the 2 of them soon!

Toilet Caper Strikes Again!

2009-09-15T07:22:00.000-07:00

Well you guessed it! Carter struck again and yes he put Bella in the toilet! Seriously does this kid have a long term dream to work in some type of plumbing or water works. I don't get it, nor do I know how to control it. Who would have thought that I would be posting a 3rd toilet story. so I was in the bedroom watching t.v. and I thought Carter is awfully quiet, so I walked in the bathroom and there was poor Bella sitting in the toilet and Carter not only had her in the toilet because she of course had to potty(so he said!), but he had a huge wad of toilet paper in his hand and was wiping her bottom for her. This kid is crazy!!!!!!!! Part of me continues to wonder if this should be a sign that he is ready to potty train, however he has no interest in it at all. He will tell you, "No I not use potty". I really want to ration with him and say if you are big enough to play in it then you are big enough to use it and quite making us buy diapers. Ever try to reason with a 2 year old???? Doesn't work so well!

Well for today's update, we are at chemo now and Jeremy is getting his 5th treatment. So close to being at the halfway point. His blood levels were good today, however he is a little anemic. His nurse suggested that he start taking iron, so maybe that will also help with his energy level. He really didn't want to come today because he was feeling so good this past few days and his appetite was back in full force! Unfortunately though the show must go on, so grumbling back he came for his next treatment. It is actually very peaceful here this morning. Not a whole lot of people in this morning which makes it not so crazy. Lots of people sleeping today because it is so cloudy outside. I keep seeing Jeremy's eyelids droop, but they haven't completely shut yet.....they will though I can tell.

We had a night out Saturday with some good friends of ours! It was so fun! Shawn and Lori invited us to dinner with a free babysitter! Their daughters came over and stayed with Carter and we headed to Dickson and had dinner at Doe's. It was so yummy! Jeremy and I split a Porterhouse. We also had tamales(which they are famous for!) and homemade taters. It was delicious and so nice because I didn't have to take care of anyone else the whole dinner. I enjoyed my food from beginning to end and also got to have some adult conversation! Before we left Dickson we headed to Willy D's to hear the dueling pianos. I love it because those guys in there can play anything and know the words to every song imaginable! We had a great evening! I don't think Carter was ready for us to come home because he had Kennedy and Alex wrapped around his finger and they would do anything he wanted!

Now in the meantime Ian was partying it up in St. Louis with his Papaw and Tata. He had a blast! I mean who wouldn't? 3 Cardinals games sitting in 3 different parts of the stadium and he came home with more Cardinal gear than you can imagine! The Cardinals unfortunately lost all 3 games to the Braves, but he had a great time despite the losses. He was most excited about his game ball he got that was from 9/11/09. He is so proud of that ball! So a big thank you to Papaw and Tata for Ian's trip, he had a blast!
Well unless Carter is getting his picture made by the toilet we usually can't get a cheese, as you can see here. Jeremy tried to get our picture, but he wasn't very cooperative!

Thank you for the continued prayers and all of the people that have checked up on us. Please know we do appreciate it SO much!

Thank yous:

*Thank you to Miss Susie for the WONDERFUL pie! It was so yummy!

*Thank you to Shawn and Lori for a great night out and offering babysitting service!

*Of course another big thank you for our yard getting mowed! I am sure it was our wonderful neighbor Jim, but Carter and I slept the weekend away so I didn't even know it was being done.

Well signing off for now. Keep all the prayers and thoughts coming! We love you all! I would like to also say thank you to all our blog followers and supporters! I feel so much strength from all of you each and everyday. I wish I could find more time in the day so that I could update more often, but I have been making myself go to bed early and that is not easy for me. However I do feel better and it makes everyone get around earlier for bed and of course this makes our morning somewhat easier. I live with 3 boys that are NOT morning people at all, so my mornings are as good as they can be!

I luvs you..........

2009-09-07T13:18:00.000-07:00

Ok so Carter completely melted my heart this weekend because we both have unfortunately had a nasty cold.........hence the not updating all weekend. So we have spent a lot of time in bed and on the couch together. So many times this weekend Carter has wrapped his arms around my neck and said, "Momma I luvs you". Ok so I am so smitten right now because he is not a big snuggler or love bug and it has been one of those moments I have played over and over in my memory because it is so sweet!

So things on the Jackson front are going well all except for the nasty cold that has made it's rounds to everyone except Jeremy. We are praying that Jeremy will not get struck by it considering his plate is already quite full. Jeremy is feeling really good this weekend. He stayed home and rested on Thursday and Friday. Saturday he was back at work and on Sunday his mom and step dad came for a visit. We had a very nice visit and went to have lunch at Golden Corral and then to the outdoor mall as we call it a.k.a. Promenade. We walked around and I got a few birthday goodies from kiddos and Jeremy because we haven't had time to do any shopping. I got some tennis shoes I had my eyes on for weeks, couple t-shirts(I LOVE my jeans and t-shirts!), some really cute necklaces, earrings, and bracelets. The boys played on the play set and also rode the carousel. Last time we went Ian wouldn't ride, but this time he noticed their was a Razorback, so he rode the Razorback and Carter and I rode the bench! Instead of choosing a horse he chose a sleigh bench and not just once but twice! I paid 4 dollars so we could ride in circles on a bench.......oh well he loved it!

Ian has spent 2 nights with his friend across the street, so he has been on cloud nine! He was really smart because he was on the lookout for someone that was buying the Razorback game and he scored just a few steps away from the house! We might have gotten it, but Jeremy had to work so seemed kind of silly to get a pay per view football game for me and Carter! So Ian had football, chicken wings, and a good time with Tyler! He did finally return home today, but is now off to swim with his Papaw one of the last times before the pool is closed(not one of Ian's favorite times of the year, he loves that pool!)

Last week was a great week at work. I finally feel like I have a routine with my new kiddos. We are getting into a schedule and they realize that Mrs. Jackson has some high expectations and expects them to be on their best behavior everyday:). Yes my expectations are high, but it definitely pays off. I do have a sweet group of kids, as I have said challenging but very sweet.

Well I am sure that our house is like many other this time of year. I love summer because it means being home with my kiddos, pool time, iced tea, salads, sandwiches, and my alltime favorite flip flops. However there are so many things I love about fall as well! I still love iced tea for those of you that see me on a regular basis I am rarely without it :), soups, stews, chilis, football games on tv, leaves falling, curling up with a good book, and lots and lots of reality tv comes on!

We are so happy that this is an off week and Jeremy does not have one doctor appt! I don't know who is happier......me or him........ok probably him! The hardest thing Jeremy is dealing with right now is the neuropathy has set in. He has had the cold sensation tingling in his mouth ever since he began chemo, but it has now moved to his fingertips. He first noticed it when he was at work and grabbed a car door on one of the cooler days and he said he could feel the instant tingling in his fingers. He knew then that it had settled into his fingers. He has been dreading this day, but we both knew it was coming. He said he just didn't realize how bad it would feel. I watched him yesterday pulling something out of the freezer yesterday and it went flying across the counter because it was so cold. He is going to have to be careful and conscious of this now that the weather is beginning to change.

One thing I have to share is that when we went to church Sunday morning our preacher began a new study on Practical Christian Living beginning with a study in James chapter 1. The scripture he kept referring to really hit my heart and I continued to read it over and over as he was preaching. Today when the house was nice and quiet I sat down with the scripture and a few notes that I had taken and really got a chance to think about it and digest it. The scripture he referred to was James 1:3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. As I continued to think on this our preacher, Daniel also said that "you need the wisdom to know you can face this now". Over the past few months my faith has become so much stronger and even though I still feel very dumb and inadequate with my knowledge of the bible, I feel like through our journey my faith has become so much stronger. I have become more comfortable with my faith, prayer, and my study of the bible. I was raised in church and growing up with bible stories, Sunday school, etc. but as an adult your faith becomes more. You take on a new perspective of your faith, your life, your values for yourself and your family. The last thing that just kept ringing in my head after church on Sunday was that God said believe in me and I will mature you and better you. How true is that? I mean Jeremy and I have always had a happy marriage, but our appreciation of one another is SO much more now than it has ever been. We always knew we loved one another, but now know how much we mean to one another, depend on one another, and need one another. We love our children and enjoy everyday with them, but it also makes me want to be a better parent to them and for them. God is good and as we believe in him and put our faith and trust in him we are in turn better people, a better family, and most importantly better Christians.

A few thank yous:
*Thank you to Mary for the wonderful spaghetti dinner you fixed for our family to have over the Labor day weekend. Once again your sauce was SO yummy! The kids also enjoyed the cake with sprinkles!
*Thank you to Linda for the yummy chocolate cake last week. I have to admit Ian has had some for breakfast twice, if that tells you how yummy it was!
*Thank you to once again our WONDERFUL neighbors. Carter and I both being sick all weekend of course kept me from going to the grocery store, so I thought what in the world will I feed everyone Monday and God always provides Jim and Lisa sent over a huge dish of roast and veggies that are delicious. Jeremy just got home from work(early :)!!!!) and you can smell roast and veggies because that is the first thing he went to!
*Thank you again to Murphy and Angie for having Ian over this weekend to play with Tyler and have a sleepover. He had a great time!

Speechless

2009-09-01T07:36:00.000-07:00

So it is Chemo Tuesday and once again I am reporting live from the chemo suite, but I don't really have much to report. Very rare for me to be speechless, but I am afraid I am today. Now believe you me I could write a book on Carter, he has done a gazillion things over just the past 24 hours. The child is WILD. I love every inch of him, but he is WILD! Last night while I was cooking dinner I lost track of him and realized he was in the laundry room. I had just started a load of laundry and he apparently was helping me by dumping an entire bowl of dog food in the washer with the load of clothes! Where does he come up with this stuff????? I have no idea!

Jeremy is doing well. He has really been dreading today's treatment only because it feels like he just had one and then we are already here again. He is very tired this morning, but napping through his treatment so that is nice. It also means that he is not fighting me for the computer:).

I have to take a minute to say something about my wonderful online friends. About 7 or 8 years ago I came across a scrapbook message board that is http://www.lifepreserversclub.com/. I have met so many amazing and wonderful friends that there I have stayed close with all these years and they check on me just like my friends in real life do. One sweet lady that I met there named Roxanne and her daughter Tracy have been so good to us. Tracy has also been going through the cancer battle, so Roxanne and Tracy have shared their story with us and been encouragers through this entire time. They have sent us wonderful resources and words of wisdom. They also walked in a Relay for Life walk that benefits cancer and one of the people they walked in support of was Jeremy. They made an adorable bag with a picture of him and the boys(picture coming soon with all the others!). It was so cute! These 2 ladies are so sweet and have given us so much support and wisdom through this time. Thank you Tracy and Roxanne!

Isn't the web such an amazing place! I love getting in contact with all my friends from jr. high, high school, college, etc. It is so wonderful! I love being able to catch up with old friends and finding new friends it is SO wonderful and such a blessing. Who knew that we would have such an amazing tool to use. I feel like even though I am kind of out of the loop with all we have going on that I can get online and catch up really quick! So between my blog, facebook, and email I love it!!!!!!!!

A week of celebrating!

2009-08-30T18:03:00.000-07:00

So my birthday was on Thursday the 27th and we have kind of celebrated all week long! I am not one to make a big deal, but of course if you fuss over me for my birthday I won't complain :)! I have not posted all week because between birthday celebrations, Ian's busy schedule, and dr appts my week became a little busy. I will definitely start with the fun part of our week!

On Wednesday night Jeremy brought home a Rick's cake for my birthday(white cake white icing my absolute favorite from Rick's). We had cake and they gave me an hour massage gift certificate. It was so sweet. We blew out candles not just once, but probably 3 or 4 or maybe even 5 times. They all 3 sang to me and Carter sang at the top of his lungs, it was hysterical! We have it on video on our new Handy Cam(gift to ourselves since we didn't get to go on vacation), but I haven't figured out how to download the videos. I will share as soon as I figure it out because it so cute.

Thursday at school I got lots of surprises. I got an adorable cake from Rick's that had a high heel and a purple purse on it from my wonderful friends I work with Melissa, Sharon, and Kelly. I got a gift certificate to Barnes and Noble(Sharon), pedicure gift certificate(Ashley), money for a dinner out with my hubby(Christina), gift certificate to Something Urban(Melissa), plumeria lotion and shower gel(Ginger), gift certificate to Sonic and some snacks(Inger), and of course lots of little pictures and cards from my kiddos.

On Thursday night my dad and Jannie put together a little family get together for my birthday at their house. They had Flying Burrito catered in and the most ADORABLE birthday cake you have ever seen. It was an enormous cupcake with about 8 or 9 layers of cake and icing. So incredibly yummy! I got lots of goodies and some money to spend on myself which is always a nice treat. Then we came home and vegged on the couch and watched Big Brother, so it was the perfect ending to my birthday.

A friend of my Ginger that teaches across the hall has a birthday the day before mine, so she decided that she was going to throw a birthday party for both of us at her house. It was so enjoyable! We had yummy kabobs her husband grilled and everyone brought a side dish or dessert. All the guys went down and played pool and darts and all the girls stayed in the house and played Catch Phrase. Jeremy got to come after work and my friend Brandy went with me, it was so much fun! Thank you Ginger and Andy for throwing us a great party!

Ok so enough about my birthday, let me fill you in on the rest of our week. Nothing really new to report. Jeremy did have an appointment with Dr. B on Wednesday. The appointment went well and Jeremy's blood levels were looking good. We decided to leave Jeremy's chemo on Tuesdays and he will continue to get his pack off on Thursdays. Dr. B is so pleased with how Jeremy is doing and how well he looks. He said that the wiped out feeling he is having on those few days after the pump comes off is very normal and he just could not say enough times how proud he was of Jeremy and myself. He truly is an encourager and we are so blessed that he is taking such good care of Jeremy. We went ahead and he scheduled Jeremy's next 3 treatments and then he scheduled him for another PET scan on October 5. This worked out so perfect because I am off that week, so Jeremy will have his scan on the Monday I am off and then we will get the results of the scan on Wednesday when we have an appt with Dr. B. Chemo is scheduled for this Tuesday, so please send up prayers that Jeremy can be comfortable and rest as he needs to.

I don't have any pictures this week, which is sad since it was my birthday. However my camera is still at school because I have been doing some pictures of my kiddos with it being the beginning of the year. I promise to post some pictures of birthday and birthday cakes sometime this week.

Jeremy is doing good. We have a great weekend! We had the party last night and then today we took the boys to the last Naturals baseball game of the season. It was SO much fun! Ian and Carter would live at the ball field if we would let them. Carter yelled for Strike almost the entire time. Strike did come over there and then of course Carter didn't want near him, only close enough to see him but not close enough to touch him. One funny thing that happened at the game was they announced that the person sitting in Section 107 Row F Seat 2 won a Swiffer Wet Jet, well at that moment it just happened to be Carter. The man came down and gave it to Carter and he started moving back and saying OH NO Tank U, NO Tank U. He wanted no part of that Swiffer Wet Jet, it was hysterical! I guess he thought if I win something at a baseball game it should be a bat, ball, t-shirt, etc. but not something you use to clean.

Once again it has been a blessed week for us. A few thank yous:
*Thank you to Luann for the wonderful soup dinner you brought for our family. You not only have been a wonderful sub in my classroom, but also a wonderful friend to me.
*Thank you to all the emails, facebook messages, cards, gifts and emails I got wishing me birthday wishes. It meant a lot.
*Thank you again to our wonderful neighbors Jim and Murphy for taking care of our yard work.
*Thank you to Jannie (aka Tata) for keeping the boys so Jeremy and I could not only go to my birthday party, but also sleep in on Sunday morning. Okay I will be honest I slept until noon and it was glorious!
*Thank you to Dad and Jannie for the wonderful birthday dinner and family party. It was so nice and I enjoyed it so much.
*Thank you to my friend Brandy for coming over and bringing me birthday presents, McAllister's tea, and going with me to my party. I am SO blessed to have you in my life. When God brought us together so many years ago in Kays Hall(our dorm we lived in) I had no idea how important you would become in my life. I truly don't know what I would do without you. You are there for me anytime anyday and always willing to take on anything. From the bottom of my heart thank you for being such an amazing friend to me and being such a wonderful "aunt bwandy" to the boys.

Well that pretty much catches you up on our week. Hope to have some pictures posted later in the week and once I figure out my new video camera I will post some videos. Thank you for the continued love, prayers, and support. It means so much to our family.

Glorious Day!!!

2009-08-23T19:59:00.000-07:00

Ok so these are a few pics from our glorious Sunday together. We did decide to play hookie this morning from church, but it was all in good fun. We got up and got dressed and headed to Golden Corral for a yummy breakfast buffet. I think I ate, but I am not really sure I was running around fixing plates, filling drinks, and as you can see from above the getting the breakfast of champions.......gummy bears and M&M's! We had a good time and from there we headed to Fast Lanes! We were there when they opened and got a lane to glow bowl! This was Carter's first trip to bowl and he loved it. We had a great time! Carter of course got a little wild and crazy and slid on the alley and bounced a few balls down the lane! Ian is quite the little bowler and before it was over wanted the gutter guards taken down when he bowled, I think he finally realized he didn't really need them. We bowled for about an hour and then let the boys play some of the games. We were just fixing to leave and Ian had $1.00 left on his fast lane card, so he decided to play this game and he pulled the lever, hit the stop button, and bells started going off! He hit the jackpot! It was hysterical! He got 250 tickets and bought him and his brother swords! So sweet! Now I haven't mentioned yet about Carter's new friend he made while we were there, he found one of the workers who was working on some of the games. He apparently really thought Carter was a cutie because Carter scored some free games, lots of tickets, and lots of candy for him and Ian. It was quite funny! From there we had to stop and pick up a few things from Wal Mart and then it was home for some much needed naps. We had a great day just the 4 of us and we all needed it!

Ian after his victorious lucky streak!!!!

This is a picture of Carter with his new Elmo Live that Angie and Murphy brought home for him! He loves it and giggles the whole time Elmo is talking!

Picture of Carter on his rocking horse that Papaw and Tata got for Ian when he was about 2. Carter rides it all over the living room and yells MEEEE HAAAAWWWWW(which translates to YEEHAW!)

Basket of goodies from the Coleman family! They also brought us a yummy taco puff dinner and the boys got Happy Meals. Not to mention we had a great visit and the kids had a GREAT time playing! We look forward to doing it again soon! Maybe you work with Ian on those robot moves some more Kathleen!!!!!

Ok so as you know from the last post it has been a rough week, but we have embraced it and prayed and we know that this week is going to be better for our whole family. We made sure to really take time out this weekend and enjoy one another and relax. It was wonderful. Kind of makes me think of that song, Momma said there'd be days like this....well momma did say there would be good days and bad days. Today was a good one and we NEEDED it!

A quick funny before I sign off for the night......of course it involves Carter! I know you didn't even question that! I was on the phone with my mom tonight and Carter went into the bathroom, well actually I thought he went in my closet so after a few minutes I told my mom I better check on Carter because he was quiet.................well he had good reason that he was quiet because he had his head in the TOILET! Ok for those of that read our blog regularly yes this time it was flushed, but seriously his head was soaked because there is no telling how many times he had dipped his head in there! I started yelling Carter NO get your head out of that toilet and I got the old stand by I sorry Momma I sorry Momma. Now before I went a-wall I did grab the camera and he smiled so big you would have thought he just got off a roller coaster ride at Silver Dollar City! In the meantime I take him to tell Jeremy what he has done and I said to Jeremy Honestly who puts there head in the toilet?????? and you hear Carter say MMMMMMMEEEEEEEEE! He was so proud..........................disgusting!!!!!!! So below is a picture of Carter's exciting time with the toilet tonight! For the record he had a shower and I scrubbed his head. He didn't like it, but I didn't care at that point it was getting clean!

We are so blessed. Good days, bad days it doesn't matter there are always friends and family there for us. A few thank yous from the week:
*Thank you to Dianna for feeding our family again. Not only has she cooked for us, but also bought pizza for our family 2 different nights. Thank you so much! Also thank you for the wonderful Living through laughter book you passed on to me. I have it on my bedside table and I am enjoying laughing through stories, quotes, and scripture.

*Thank you to Bill and Jeannie for the Noodles gift certificate. You knew just what we needed.

*Thank you to Angela for the 2 big jugs of tea from Chick fil a. First of all tea is my favorite thing! I could drink it all day everyday, but to get 2 jugs from Chick fil a that was a treat! We enjoyed it all weekend.

*Thank you to Murphy and Angie for Carter's Elmo and also for letting Ian come over and play and cook out.

*Thank you to Brandy for the yummy Market Place you brought us for dinner the other night and also for the adorable pillow you made for my classroom. I am so BLESSED to have you as a friend! I love ya!

*Thank you to the Coleman family for the yummy dinner, all the baseball goodies :), The Shack, and the wonderful visit we had!

*Thank you to Sandra for the amazing book you gave me. I will share some of it with you all soon. I am reading it everyday and it is about families and individuals that have experienced cancer along with their walk with God. It was the exact thing I needed the day she brought it to me. I know that Sandra and I are both walking the same path and it truly touched my heart that you shared something that had been so touching to your journey with me.

Well I pray that you all have a blessed week. Jeremy goes to the doctor on Wednesday to see Dr. B and have his blood levels checked. Will give you an update once we hear something.

Holding my chin up

2009-08-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

Ok so I would be lying if I post how happy happy and goody goody I was right now. So when thinking about my post tonight I thought okay when we look back and read about this journey, we both know there were good times, bad times, easy times, hard times, etc. Well for some reason this has been a rough week for me. I know Jeremy is the one going through the chemo, but for some reason my emotions just got the best of me this week. I have gotten many messages from many of you about how strong I am and how strong my faith is and it is trust me however I am human and some days are just easier than others. Unfortunately this whole week has been tough on me and the boys as well.

Jeremy had chemo on Tuesday and had the pack removed on Thursday. From there he rested most of Thursday and all day Friday. He worked today and is wiped out tonight. Tomorrow we are planning to veg out and spend the day together as a family, which we all need.

I guess after going through this journey for 8 weeks my mind is finally able to wander in places it hasn't before or I have actually had time to stop and think and process things that I haven't been able to. I will say getting back into the routine of work and school is good however on the days we need to all just pile in bed and be together it is not an option. I hate feeling weak I know it is normal and I know it is going to happen, but I am not a person that likes to feel weak or out of control. I am a control freak, so when I begin to feel weak it stresses me out! This week Ian also had a major breakdown. Jeremy and I neither one knew what to do, it happened to be on Jeremy's scheduled day off which he had planned to spend at home resting, so after talking to Ian's teacher we decided he needed to be with his daddy. Jeremy came and got him and they picked up some Steak and Shake and headed home for some quality time and lots of vegging out. Ian has been great ever since. He just woke up that day and something told him he needed to be with his daddy and he hasn't asked for Jeremy in quite a while so we felt like we needed to let him do that and have that time with him. Now later that night Carter also had a major meltdown and also wanted nothing but his daddy. This pretty much shows how rough our week has been.

My mom and stepdad came Thursday night and helped us catch up on some things at the house. In the meantime our washer went out(just what I needed, I mean I was already have a rough week!). My stepdad came to the rescue and bought us a new washer and had someone install it. Praise the Lord we are back in business to wash and dry. You don't realize how much you wash in one week until you are without. A big thanks to my mom for cleaning our entire house and getting things back in order. Also a thanks to my stepdad for the big load of snacks he brought us from the Little Debbie store! The boys have chowed on oatmeal creme pies and glazed donuts all evening!

I PRAY next week is going to be better. I know it will. Tonight I spent a lot of time in prayer and I prayed for the Lord to continue to bless our family and take away my anxiety and stress. I pray that he will embrace me and comfort me. I truly know deep in my heart that Jeremy is going to be ok all in due time, but I also know that we have many bumps ahead. Sometimes it all just becomes extremely overwhelming for me. I don't want to let anyone down and I want to continue to keep our house running as smoothly as possible. I guess this week it just all caught up with me. I have those feelings any wife or mother would have I want to take the pain away. I wish it could be me instead of him. So many times when Carter has been sick I have said if I could take all the illness from him and put it into me I would and I feel the same way with Jeremy. However when I verbalized this to Jeremy he said absolutely NOT our family could not function without you, so God knew what he was doing :). It made me feel good, but at the same time I want to take his hurt and fear away.

Like I said I am human, so I feel no need to sugarcoat it and not share the tough times too. Please lift our family up in prayer and please lift me up in prayer as I continue to do the day to day things our family needs.

Ian met with the play therapist on Monday and it went great! We couldn't have asked for it to have gone any better! He loved Ms. D and enjoyed his time with her. She also gave us some great ideas of things to do at home to help him and Carter both. Another thing that Ian has done this week that is so exciting is he started taekwondo! He has been talking about doing this for a few months, but ever since school started he has really wanted to do it. So Wednesday night we went and signed him up and he took his first class right then. He loved it so much we went back to the Thursday and Friday night class!!! He looks so cute in his white outfit with his white belt! I haven't taken my camera yet, but I will next week.

Well that is all for tonight I hope tomorrow to post a few pictures and catch up thank yous. I hope you all have a blessed Sunday and thank you for the prayers and understanding our praises and our rough times.

Great Discovery

2009-08-18T07:24:00.000-07:00

So today I decided to bring my laptop with me to do some schoolwork while Jeremy got his chemo and surprise they have wireless! So here I am reporting to you live from the "chemo suite" :). Day is off to a good start. Jeremy's blood levels were good, so treatment is underway. After this treatment we are down to the single digits.........which means 3 down 9 to go! Jeremy has felt very good the past few days, so we are praying that this is going to be a good week for his chemo and that he is going to feel good. Will report back soon on that. I had promised that coming soon I would have a dedication to great friends and amazing neighbors, so today I am dedicating to them.

Friends:
*Melissa-I have mentioned Melissa many times in many different posts and that is because she has done SO much for us. I can't even begin to recite the things that she has done for us. She has cooked us so many meals, snacks, and treats. She has kept the kids numerous times when we have needed to go to dr appts or Jeremy's chemo. She checks on us everyday and is the most support a girl could ask for in this time of need. Melissa has scheduled all our meals since Jeremy returned home from the hospital after his surgery(I can never begin to tell you what a help this has been to us). Just when I would begin to feel like the world was falling out from under me, Melissa would show up on the doorstep with goodies or a Sonic drink. Then if the boys were having a tough time she would show up with sidewalk chalk, t-shirts, candy, etc. God has blessed me with Melissa in my life. The funny thing about Melissa and I's story is her sister Janet and I were very good friends in elementary and junior high school. I saw Melissa in passing, but never really got to know her. Then a few years ago our principal hired a new special ed teacher and it was Melissa.......small world right! Carter was going through a lot of things medically and Melissa was there to offer support and very good advice and instantly we became very good friends. Without her I honestly don't know how I would get through each day. She also keeps me in books and magazines!!!! Ian always tells people mom hit the jackpot with Melissa because she has lots of books by her bed to read! Thank you Melissa from the bottom of our hearts.

*Ashley-Ok so this summer I had to leave my kiddos ALOT and it was hard, but anytime Jeremy needed treatment or if I just needed a night out of the house Ashley was right there to get the boys and the boys LOVE her. They are big buddies with Ashley's kiddos, Lexi(6 yrs old), Ayden(1 yr old). When I would get there to pick them up Carter would beg to stay and would hide his face so that I wouldn't see him and he wouldn't have to leave. David and Ashley have done so much for us this summer and we appreciate it so much. Ian has gone to the lake the movies and had so much fun thanks to your families!

*Kelly-Kelly and I have been friends ever since she got hired at Asbell and I can't express how supportive she is to me. Kelly is the person I called when I was driving home in my car after finding out Jeremy had cancer and when she answered I broke out into tears. She knew I was upset and was already grabbing her keys and hopping in to race to our house. When I finally gained a little control I told her that we had just found out the test came back as cancer. Kelly is someone I can always call on no matter what. Day night early late it doesn't matter. Such a blessing. Now Carter is staying at her house everyday with Nanny and Kelly's baby Kambree. So exciting that Carter and Kambree are going to get to grow up together and play and have fun. The memories we are going to have of the two of them are going to be great!

*Brandy, Jennifer, Angela, and Sharon are my tride and true amigos. They call and check on my day after day week after week. Always checking to see what we need or what they can do. I can't begin to tell you how much their phone calls, food, cards and everything else mean to us. It is so nice to know that we have these amazing support systems whenever we need. God has blessed us and having them in my life is so WONDERFUL!

Neighbors
Ok so I don't even know where to begin we have the most AMAZING neighbors you have ever seen. If you are not blessed with good neighbors I am so so so sorry because without ours I don't know what we would do.
*The Fisks-Ok so right next door to us we have the Fisk family and they have done SO much for us I can't even say thank you to them enough. Jim and Lisa have cooked for us MANY times. They have sent Josh their son (our new food deliver guy :) over with loads of different goodies for us to eat. We have had soup, pasta, shrimp, crab, sausage, bread, the list goes on and on and it is all so yummy! Jim has mowed our yard every week and made sure it is in tiptop shape. He mows, weedeats, and uses the blower in every place he can. I think it might even look better now than it used to.......don't tell Jeremy ;). One day I even looked out and saw Lisa blowing off our driveway, I mean I wouldn't even know how to start a blower. I mean this family is so giving. They have let me bring the boys over for a swim and have invited Ian over to play. We are so incredibly blessed to have them living next door to us and we owe them so much and appreciate all they have done for our family.

*Murphy and Angie-These are our neighbors across the street and they are so great to us! They have brought us loads and loads of groceries for us and the kiddos. We are still munching on all those snacks! This weekend we even made the yummy funnel cakes from the funnel cake kit they brought us. They have invited Ian over to play with Murphy's son Tyler MANY times! They have had a sleepover, played Wii, football, gone to the movies, swimming and the list goes on and on. I can't begin to tell you how much Ian has enjoyed his time with them this summer. We are so blessed to have them as our across the street neighbors!

Well I was a little long winded today, but I had to publicly thank these people and let them know how much impact they have had on our lives. We have had so many people cook for us, send us goodies, cards, etc. I could never thank everyone enough and it means so much to us. Please know that because of all the giving people in our life that is how we get through each day.

TGI the WEEKEND!

2009-08-15T10:40:00.000-07:00

Ok so getting into the routine is still not easy. I am still feeling a little under the weather, so I basically get up go to work, take care of the kiddos, got to bed, and then start the whole thing over again. I don't know if I have caught a virus, but I just can't knock it. I am resting this weekend so I am praying that next week is better. I am sure some of it is contributed to my stress which I do have a lot of right now. Let me tell you I love my job I truly do however some years are just easier than others and this is one of those years that is not so easy. I have some great kids, but they are ALL different and unique with some very standout personalities! This makes everyday quite interesting! So as I discover all their personalities and they of course figure out mine, everyday is a bit of a challenge. We have been in school for 7 days now and I think after we get one more week under our belt things will begin to fall into step. Just to give you a little insight into my day I have 22 students(full classroom) and I have a full time aide(well from 8-2). Over half my class is boys and I have 5 students that do not speak English. I have one student from Columbia, 2 from Mexico, Korea, and Pakistan. I also have a little boy from Kenya, but he speaks very fluent English. I also have a student with cerebral palsy this year and she is in a wheelchair and she has a full time aide. I am also learning a lot more about autism this year because I have a student with autism and we have quite a few in the other kindergarten classes that have been diagnosed with autism. The parents that I am working with are very open with their child's diagnosis and have assured me I can be as well(so please don't think I am spilling secret information!). I love the fact that they are such advocates for their children and they want me to learn more and the students in our class to learn more as well. That is a big reason why their kiddos are doing so well and transitioning into kindergarten because of their amazing supportive parents. So as you can see I have some sweet babies, but when you throw them all into one classroom it does take some monitoring and adjusting to figure out how to get your day to run smoothly.

Jeremy is doing well. He has worked all this week and we are both gearing up for his 3rd treatment this coming week. The one event he had take place this week was one of his crowns popped off. Keep in mind when you have chemo they do not want you to have any dental work in fact we even had to cancel his teeth cleaning, so we both panicked and just sat there frozen for a couple minutes after it happened. Luckily the next day he had an oncology appt and I had a dentist appt, so we talked to both and he was able to get it glued back on early Friday morning. Thank goodness because it was driving him crazy. He had some blood work done this week and his WBC(white blood cell) and platelet levels had dropped a little nothing to worry about right now, but they are going to keep a close eye on them. So please lift up prayers for Jeremy's levels to maintain in a healthy level through the chemo. We go on Tuesday morning and they will recheck them before they begin his treatment. This coming week he will wear his pump on Tuesday, Wednesday, and have it taken off on Thursday morning. We are hoping that this will help to be able to work on Saturday and then spend Sunday with me and the boys. I think it will be better doing it a little earlier in the week.

Many of you know that Ian has had a tough time the past few months and is dealing with a lot of anger. Please pray for him as we continue to deal with this. We were referred to what is supposed to be a wonderful play therapist and we will be seeing her this Monday. We were kind of on the fence with this decision, but I think in the long run it could be what he needs, someone to talk to besides Jeremy and myself. I don't want him to resent Jeremy for something that cannot be helped and it is very hard for me as a mommy to see him so upset and angry. My dad and stepmom surprised him with a trip to St. Louis in September, so this will be a good getaway for him and he is already counting down the days.

Carter is WILD as ever. I swear this week he kind of went nuts! Now keep in mind he is a perfect angel for nanny(the new babysitter that he loves!), but when we get home he is like a bull in a china closet! I have picked up diapers, Cheerios, cleaned up root beer, piles of dvds, all the contents of my purse, dog food, sour patch kids, cookies, tomatoes, etc. etc.! He is INTO everything! The funny thing is he knows it too because as soon as you catch him in the act he will start saying I sorry I sorry I sorry momma over and over and over. Now is he really sorry........uh NO, but he sure does think that will get him out of the line of fire! The other thing he has discovered is those really swell toddler proof door covers I paid 10 bucks for can be pulled right off the door and he can take off running. He pulls that door cover off the knob and says UHOH I broke it and then takes off into the garage, so needless to say we are having to keep the doors locked and garage door down all the time. Wow the joy of a wild toddler is CRAZY!

We had a great visit this weekend with Gary and Dawn. This is Jeremy's uncle that lives right outside of Houston that he is just like sometimes! Our visits with them are few and far between however I love it when we see them because Dawn and I are both scrapbook addicts, so we always hit the scrapbook stores together! Unfortunately the visit was short, but we had such a great time! The boys are still wishing Uncle Gary was still here to play with them in the yard. Not to mention Dawn is quite the pitcher! Dawn took some great pics, she is really into photography so I will be posting some pics of our visit soon! Had a great visit and we are so glad you came!

Thank yous:

*Thank you to Melissa for the great fettuccine dinner. It was so yummy!!!

*Thank you to Mags for the adorable prayer bracelet you made me. You are such a sweetie just like your momma!

*Thank you to Ashley for the Mexican dinner, you underestimate yourself in the world of cooking! It was so good and boys ate those cookies up!

*Thank you to Carlena for the delicious dinner! The boys have found a new thing to add to our menu with your beef stroganoff, they loved it!

*Thank you to Linda for the "cookout" dinner you delivered to our door and of course for your swim date you had with Ian while cooking it. He will be ready to come home with you any day of the week!

*Thank you the Mandie for inviting Ian to go to the Naturals game, he had a great time!

*Thank you to Gary and Dawn for the Mexican dinner, donut breakfast, and my adorable Dream necklace!!! I wore it to church this morning and haven't taken it off yet!!

WHEW!!!!!

2009-08-09T11:46:00.000-07:00

Ok so what a week! I am exhausted! The best thing that could have happened to me was that school started on Thursday. I mean we had the kiddos 2 days and then we had a little break for the weekend. Not because the kids are wild :), but because I have been home this summer with Jeremy and the kids and we have taken it easy, so getting back into the full swing of things is not easy. I mean we would lounge until 9 or 10 and now I am up at 5:15 and we are walking out the door at 6:45 to make sure we get Carter dropped off and get to school to help my lil kindergarten kiddos get through the breakfast line. So needless to say the last few days have been a whirlwind in our house. One thing you have to realize is that Jeremy has taken Carter to daycare for the past year and he doesn't have to be at work until about 9, so Carter is used to sleeping in or at least lounging until about 8:15. Big change..........I think so! However he does like getting to see his Bubba(Ian :) in the mornings, but his mood is still a little sour! Basically I am the ONLY morning person in our house, makes for a really fun morning! He prefers to be left alone and wants the channel on his channel of choice nobody elses! I will never get to watch the news before work again!

Well many of you I know are wondering if we survived round 2 of chemo???? Yes he did! Dr. B was right the symptoms were very similar especially according to the day they fell on, but luckily they weren't as severe this time. I mean he was tired but instead of sleeping all day he napped all morning and then watched tv from the couch the rest of the day. The great thing is he never got sick at his stomach. Probably the hardest side effect he experiencing is the cold sensitivity in his mouth. So throughout the 3 days of chemo he was able to work a couple half days and then on Saturday he rested a lot. By today though he is feeling much better. We got up this morning and went to church, had lunch at Mazzio's(Jeremy's choice!), and then stopped and the boys and I had snow cones(kind of mean isn't it since Jeremy couldn't have anything cold, but the boys loved them as you will see in some pics below!). Now we are at home vegging the rest of the day.

Jeremy and Ian are downstairs playing Playstation, Carter napping, and I am updating the blog, but should be working on my lesson plans for next week. Nothing too exciting going on this week, Jeremy has a check up scheduled with the surgeon and he also has an appt with the APN nurse at the oncology clinic to see how his treatment went and check his blood counts(which so far have been good!)

One little kink we had in our plan that I haven't mentioned is that Carter's daycare closed about 2 weeks before school started. We have been using this same daycare since Ian was 3, so this was quite a shock. Needless to say I had to find a new daycare for Carter, but we didn't really want to make a big financial commitment to a daycare or preschool since we know this school year is going to be a little crazy and I am going to be taking quite a few days off. So when my friend Kelly offered her Nanny that keeps her baby at her house we decided that was a great idea. Now keep in mind she also kept Ian when he was the exact same age and he loved her, so even though Carter won't have kids to play with we thought we would give it a try. So last week we packed him up and headed to take him to stay with Nanny and Baby Kambree(will have to post a pic of her and Carter because she is precious!). Needless to say Carter did GREAT! I think he loves how relaxed his days are and loves having a baby to be around. Nanny says he does so good during they day. He just plays with Nanny, Kambree, and by himself. He lays himself down for a nap about the same time everyday! He is eating like a little pig and at school he was a little particular! Now one thing you have to know about Carter is that he is NOT a night sleeper and hasn't been since he was born. We have been to different doctors and he has even had a sleep study done, but since he has been staying with Nanny he has slept all night every night! He is ready for bed at 8:30 and I have to wake him up at 6:15 every morning. It is the craziest thing, but it is wonderful! The other nice thing is for now it will cut down on a lot of the germs that would have normally been brought home from daycare. Once again God is GOOD! Not even something we had thought of doing and the situation is better than what we had before.

Gotta share a few pics from our first days of school and our weekend! Also catching on my Thank yous before I go! In the next couple weeks please know as we get the "hang" of things my posts may not be as frequent(will still update atleast a couple times a week atleast) however I plan to dedicate a post or two to great friends and great neighbors! It is much overdue! First day of school...............................................

*Note their new backpacks they were so proud of!*

I take Ian's picture in this exact same spot every year on the first day of school! He looks so tired and so big!

Ian's new 2nd grade teacher! I know he already loves her because before he went to bed after the first day of school, he said I sure hope tomorrow is as good as today! On Friday he said it definitely was!!!

Let me tell you about these next 2 pics! A friend of mine, Karen made us a very yummy dinner last week and made us a cake with sprinkles for desert. Well I should say she made it because she thought the boys would enjoy it! Well they did! As soon as I opened it Carter was yelling Happy Birthday Happy Birthday and screaming for me to get the candles! So I did and we sang Happy Birthday 4 times and blew out candles 5 times! It looks like Carter is mad in the picture below, but actually he is singing! Good times!!!!!! Ian was so good, he just went along with it! Then every morning after that when you asked Carter what he wanted for breakfast he screamed birthday cake!

The pics above are from before church today and our snow cone stop. Ok so the boys got new outfits from Nana and they are adorable. So I of course wanted to get a picture of them with the outfits on. The picture is not a good one, the funny thing is I get tons of great pictures of them in house with nothing but shorts and a diaper on, but put them in a cute outfit from Gymboree and they won't smile to save my life. Jeremy and I were even begging, threatening, and acting crazy. Nothing was working! Ian DID NOT want his picture made and Carter was too busy watching the sprinkler across the street, so what you see is what you get :)!

Thank yous for last week:

*Sharon and Larry for all the yummy veggies and all the help in my classroom. I appreciate Larry being Handy Manny and doing all my handy work for me!

*A BIG thank you to Elizabeth, Angela, and Luann for all the help in classroom! Also a big thank you to Elizabeth and Joseph for helping me with Carter during open house.

*I don't have enough thank yous for my SUPER friend Brandy who helped me set up my classroom and organized all my stuff for me, it was such a help and helped me to get myself motivated! Thanks for all the Sonic drinks and of course for Jeremy's shirt!!!!(will post a pic for all to see because it is so cute!)

*Thank you to Jim and Lisa next door for EVERYTHING! You have brought us food, let us swim, and kept our yard in tip top shape. We can never thank you enough for all you have done. We are so blessed to have such amazing neighbors.

*Thank you to Linda, Mike, and Melissa for the yummy dinner you made us! It was so good and the coconut pie was delicious!

*Thank you to Chris and Ramona for the wonderful lasagna dinner! It was so sweet of both of you! The boys ate the entire box of cookies you brought!

*Thank you to Karen for the great chicken and veggie dinner and of course the famous birthday cake!

*Thank you to Mrs. Reyes for the pizza dinner! You are a sweetie!

*Thank you to my Aunt Janice for passing along the cookbook that has all the recipes for different side effects of cancer. If it worked for Uncle George I know it will work for Jeremy.

*Thank you to Murphy and Angie for letting Ian and Tyler have a sleepover and play Wii til the wee hours of the night!

*Thank you to Angie for bringing a little bit of Lulu's(restaurant in Gulf Shores that Jeremy and I love!) to me!

Not sure where July went!

2009-08-05T19:28:00.000-07:00

Ok so I know many of you are checking in and so I am going to have a quick post for tonight to give an update, but I have to get in bed early because tomorrow is our 1st day of school and I have 22 little kindergarten kiddos that are counting on me to be well rested and ready to go! The school I teach at is on a balanced calendar, so we go back a few weeks earlier, but get some weeks off throughout the year that are wonderful!
Jeremy had his start of round 2 of chemo today. We got there about 8:15 and they gave him meds until about 11:45. Went good and he even was able to go back to work afterwards. He has his pump on and is planning to work again tomorrow. He has it taken off on Friday morning and is going to see how he feels Friday and Saturday before deciding if he will work or not. Dr. B said that symptoms and sickness tend to hit at the same time with this type of chemo, so this means that Friday and Saturday would be his rough days, so we are just going to play it by ear and see how it goes.
I got my classroom set up and ready thanks to MANY different people who I promise I will thank this weekend when I get caught up on everything :). Never realized how hard it was to be wife, mom, teacher, and nurse! Going to be a wild 6 months, but we are going to get through. I know this post is short, but I have to get to school bright and early and be ready for my new babies! Will post more this weekend! Hope you all are having a great week! Sending lots of love and hugs!
Oh and by the way my oldest baby starts 2nd grade tomorrow, I can't believe it! Pics to come this weekend!

World Are You Out There?

2009-08-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

Well we have been in this house ALOT pretty much since we received Jeremy's diagnosis on June 19. Tomorrow is the BIG day when we return to work. Obviously my nerves have gotten the best of me because I am updating the blog at 11:30 at night when I should be sleeping because I have to be at work tomorrow at 8am. However I have always been one of those people that doesn't sleep good on Sunday nights and then us both returning to work tomorrow on top of it being a Sunday doesn't mix well. The nice thing is both boys are with Papaw and Tata, so it has just been a nice relaxing evening. Jeremy and I ate sushi and watched Big Brother. One thing we do a lot when the boys are gone at the same time :) is sit on the couch and eat California Rolls until we can pop! I love nights like that and of course the boys don't like sushi so they could care less that they are missing out on this!
So tomorrow I return to my WONDERFUL job with my AMAZING friends at Asbell and Jeremy will return to the job he LOVES at the Hyundai dealership. We will both be off on Wednesday morning for his 2nd round of chemo and from there we will see how our work schedules go. This will definitely be an adventurous school year for us all. Since I am a teacher we live August to August on a school year calendar rather than January to December! Juggling work, school, kiddos, many dr appts, chemo, and of course the regular activities of everyday life is not always going to be easy. Please pray for us as we get back into the routine of our somewhat normal life. We know that the next 6 months will not be easy for us, but through prayer and amazing friends and family we are going to make it.
I know that I need to make myself go to sleep so I am going to catch up on my Thank You's and a few pics I took this weekend later in the week.
Sending love and hugs to you all and hoping you have a great week!

Perking Up

2009-07-30T11:53:00.001-07:00

Well thank goodness by Tuesday it was obvious that Jeremy was perking up. His coloring came back and he didn't have to lay down to take a nap. He rested a lot, but didn't have to lay down and sleep. Tuesday was a great day because Jeremy's aunt and uncle brought his Grandma Dean for a visit. We had a great visit. Carter was a little under the weather, but other than that we had a great time. We laughed, cried, played with the boys, and visited until about 3:30. Then it started getting a little late for Grandma because it is a 4 hour trip back home and she had a little baby calf that had to be fed before dark! Just tickles me every time I think about her having to get home to feed this little baby calf that she is not going to name, however anytime she talks about it she calls it Baby. In my book she has named it, but don't tell her that! :) After they left we hung out around the house and had a lazy evening.

Jeremy and his Grandma Dean

The boys and Jeremy with Uncle Larry and Aunt Carolyn

Yesterday Jeremy went in to see Dr. Bradford for a follow up appointment. The appointment went well however the waiting you have to endure for these appointments is terrible. We had to wait about an hour and a half before getting called back and then after we got called back we had to wait about 45 minutes. Now please don't think I am complaining because I am definitely not complaining because the Dr. is very good and spends as much time with each patient as necessary. However my husband is not the best "waiter' in the world. I pray for the poor man's patience everyday! He reminds me so much of my dad in that manner because he is not the best "waiter" in the world either(I know that my stepmom is smiling as she reads this!). If Jeremy learns to do nothing else through this he will become more patient because honestly he has no choice in the matter. Dr. Bradford really hated that the chemo was so tough on Jeremy, but he said that this will be pretty consistent all the way through. He said that with this type of chemo your same symptoms seem to follow like clockwork each time you have treatment. Now many of you know that I am a planner and a list maker, so in my planner I wrote down EVERY symptom he had everyday, neurotic I know, but I want to know what to expect each time. Jeremy's blood test to check his therapeutic levels did not get finished because the blood they drew and sent off apparently was not packaged cool enough and by the time the blood got to the lab it was too warm. They are going to run this test again next week before they take his pump off. However his blood counts yesterday were all good. He is scheduled for his next chemo next Wednesday and will wear his pump until Friday morning. Eventually he is going to get his chemo on Tuesdays that way by the weekend hopefully he will be through what seems to be the worst of it. Then he will be able to work on Saturdays, go to church on Sundays and spend time with the family on Sunday afternoons. I hope this schedule works out because I know he has really missed this weekend time.

After the dr appointment we came back to pick up Ian and Carter because they stayed with Pa and Ma. We got home and about an hour later their Aunt Lori picked them up to spend the night at their house! The boys were so excited! All Carter wanted to do was see Ozzy(their bulldog) and Uncle Bo's motorcycle. Ian was so excited about getting to stay the night with his cousin Carli. They had a great time and were so excited because they didn't even have to brush their teeth! Gotta love it!

Well today was their day. They got to choose anything they wanted to do. Their first pick was Fun City. We got there when the doors opened and stayed until about noon. From there we went home so Carter could catch a nap. After naptime we went to Target where Ian got to buy whatever YuGiOh and Pokemon cards he wanted, he had earned money at our annual garage sale a few months ago and had saved it for our vacation, since we didn't get to go anywhere he begged to go to Target. After that we went to Hibbett Sports and bought back to school shoes and I got a cute Southern Belle t-shirt(thanks to Kelly for telling me they had them!). After that we just walked around what we call "the outdoor mall" a.k.a. Promenade. Now remember this was there day so went to the Candy Craze and The Cookie Factory and yes they both got stuff at each place.....their day remember :). Then we went to ride the carousel which is new to the mall. Ok so had a little taste of how big Ian is getting because we got up in line to buy our ticket and it was only Carter and myself, I look over to where Jeremy is sitting and there was Ian and I mouthed to Jeremy is he not riding and Ian looked at him and said no I am NOT riding. My heart broke! My baby, my first born did not want to ride the carousel and not only did he not want to ride, but he did not care at all that my heart was broken. Sure it saved me 2 bucks, but I would have paid 10 for him to ride with Carter and I. Oh so many more times like this in the road ahead. Makes me think of the day that Jeremy called and him and Ian were eating at McDonald's and Ian decided he didn't want a Happy Meal he wanted a value meal. Of course Jeremy was so excited and I was on the phone practically bawling.........what no Happy Meal...........he's only 7 I want him to order Happy Meals at least until he moves out for college. Ok so I have just had some pretty clear pictures that Ian is growing up and getting too big for things I never thought he would be too big for. The joy of your children growing up, but the heartbreak of learning that you can't keep them little forever.

Ok so a few years ago.........let me rephrase that to 7 years ago, felt like a few...I went to what is called the ESL(English as a Second Language) Academy. It was grueling and rewarding at the same time. It was 2 weeks long even weekends, 12 hours a day, and meals all provided there. So basically it was hard core, but from it you walked away with an endorsement to teach ESL, 12 graduate hours, many new strategies, a wealth of information, and new friends. Well I can remember how nervous I was the first few days of the Academy. I really didn't know anyone that was going and a lot of the teachers were from Springdale. Well who knew I would meet a very good friend of mine, Reba. We spent ALOT of time together those 2 weeks. I forgot to mention I had just had a baby 2 months before so I was struggling being away from Ian.......yes he REALLY was a baby then :). So Reba was my support she knew it was hard leaving him with him being so bitty. We ate all our meals together, ran to her house to check on her kids, ran to Sonic, sat outside to get warm, and really just developed a great friendship. Well over the years Reba and I of course lost touch, but I knew where she taught and she knew where I taught, but then when we both discovered the wonderful world of Facebook we found one another and from there we found each others blog and have reconnected. Well Reba and her kiddos brought us dinner the other night and it was so GREAT to see her. I told her when she came I would probably hug and hug her and not let go. Reba has a faith that amazes me and spirit that you can only pray to have. She has 4 kids and they are so very blessed to have her as a mom. She is so calm and never appears to be frazzled. I know she is at times, but she handles herself with such grace. Jeremy knew how excited I was to see Reba so he took our picture! Then I had to take a picture of the meal she brought us, I had never had it before but it was so yummy. She brought mostaccioli, which is penne pasta with an alfredo sauce on bottom and a marinara sauce with hamburger meat and cheese, delicious! For desert there was a chocolate eclair desert in a pan and it is heavenly. I enjoyed your visit Reba and meeting Maria and Joshua and seeing Hunter and Lauren all grown up. I look forward to our next visit...........we just can't let it be so long next time!

Well I have babbled long enough, I knew I had some catching up to do, since I hadn't posted since earlier in the week. I will be consumed in my classroom the next 2 or 3 days trying to prepare for my precious little kindergartners that come next week. Some of you have asked "Are you ready?" and my answer to that is honest and true, no I am not ready not emotionally or physically, but I will be by the time they come through that door, I am praying for strength and motivation everyday.

Thank yous:
*Thank you to Reba for a WONDERFUL dinner and a SUPER visit
*Thank you to LaDonna for a DELICIOUS dinner, I can only wish I was half the cook you are! I also enjoyed our visit and your wonderful pep talk, you are an inspiration to me.
*Thank you to Melissa, Sharon, and Angela for helping me in my classroom. You have no idea how much I appreciate it. This has definitely been the most stressful year in getting my room ready and the 3 of you have helped make the process much smoother.
*Thank you to Bubba and JoAnn for the sweet card and gift. Jeremy was so touched when we got it in the mail.
*Thank you to Pa and Ma for keeping the boys while we went to Jeremy's dr. appt.
*Thank you to Carolyn and Larry for bringing Grandma up, we appreciate it so much and enjoyed seeing all 3 of you.
*Thank you to Linda, Melissa, and Mike for the YUMMY dinner tonight. It was so good and I had plenty of the coconut pie(I won't tell you how much :)
*A big thank you to Aunt Lori for taking the boys for the afternoon and overnight, so I could work in my classroom. They enjoyed it so much. It mean a lot especially since Uncle Bo had to work and you wanted to keep them anyway. They are SO lucky to have you as an Aunt!

2 year olds miss nothing

2009-07-27T20:54:00.000-07:00

Through this process who really knows how much Carter realizes and how much he doesn't. I mean I have told you how he is fascinated with daddy's owies and medicine, but beyond that I have been wondering how different life really is to him. Well this morning it all became a little more clear to me. He was laying in bed with Jeremy and I this morning, well actually he got in bed with us about 5am:), but luckily went back to sleep! Then we all slept until 8, so we were laying there cuddling with him and listening to him sing and talk. All of a sudden he gets up on his knees and turns to Jeremy and says, "I miss you" and he said it with the most honest and sincere voice. First it of course broke my heart and I had tears, but then as I thought about it as the day went on I realized even though he doesn't realize the details and the actual illness itself, he realizes daddy is sick and that things are not normal in his life right now. Of course as a mom that is hard because you want your children's lives to be perfect even though you know that life is not perfect, but on the flip side I am so glad that we have been open and honest and that a small part of his young little vulnerable mind does understand.
The last couple days have been difficult and I can honestly say we are all very tired and getting by on strong faith and prayer. Unfortunately Jeremy has continued to be very uncomfortable and sick the past few days. However the good news is he has been able to rest, so sleep has definitely been his best medicine. Today the sick stomach hit, but he was a trooper and made it through. His energy level was up a little today, but it is still going to be a rough week for him. I think the most stressful part for the both of us is knowing that his body has to do it again next week. We go see his oncologist on Wednesday for a follow up for his first treatment. Hopefully after going over the side effects that he had maybe there are some meds that would be an option for him. I mean there is nothing that you can do about the tired lethargic feeling, but hopefully knowing how he did as far as being very achy and sick there is something that can make him a little more comfortable.
Please direct your prayer towards this because we both had planned on returning to work next week and now are both questioning this decision and how it will work for either of us. We know it will work out and we know that God has a plan for us, so as we have stated before we are taking it one day at a time and each day is different and has different answers for us.
We are very excited about our special visitor tomorrow! Jeremy's Grandma Dean is coming tomorrow and if it gives you any idea the equivalence of how excited Jeremy is about her visit it would compare to Barney showing up at the front door to see Carter or Pujols showing up to see Ian! Jeremy and his Grandma are very close and have been since he was little, so he is very excited that his Uncle Larry and Aunt Carolyn are coming and bringing her for a visit. It will just be a day visit, but could be some of the best medicine for Jeremy.

Ok so before I go I have to share one funny story, ok funny now, but wasn't funny about 4 hours ago. Tonight I was picking the house up and cleaning up after dinner and Jeremy was in our bedroom(yes the one he did not want me to move :) all kicked back and we both heard this giggling coming from the bathroom.....Carter.......Jeremy said what do you think he is doing I of course had no idea so we tiptoed to the door and the giggling turned to full out belly laughing. When I peeped through the door I didn't know if I should laugh or cry! Carter had our dog Bella's favorite giraffe(which Carter calls a cow!) that is a stuffed animal and he was slinging it into the toilet and then slinging water EVERYWHERE! I ran into the bathroom and said HOLY (not sure what I was going to finish with could have been cow, crap, moley, I was pretty mad so use your imagine if you wish) and Carter starts going HOLY COW HOLY COW HOLY COW. So I look back because Jeremy WAS behind me and I am thinking ok daddy step in I know you don't feel good but honest to goodness I was about to bust a gut from laughing. Well my backup was GONE and I am sure you can guess why........he was doubled over in the recliner because he was laughing so hard. Much help......I think not! So I realize I am going to have to pull myself together and send Carter to time out, I mean I do not want him to think he can just take anyone's things and play in the toilet water. Well believe you me I pulled myself together real fast because I looked down and realized that Ian had just gone to the bathroom and yes you already know the rest of the story.................he did NOT flush. Ok so my laughter stopped I was mad and disgusted because all that supposed water everywhere.......... The story ended with Carter in time out saying I sorry I sorry I sorry, Ian helping me clean the entire mess up(bet he will flush from now on!), and all 3 of us taking showers. Needless to say everyone was showered and quickly put to bed! What a day!

Thank yous:
*Thank you to Kasi for the yummy dinner that she surprised us with on Sunday. We were planning on eating leftovers and Sunday was such a rough day so it was such a nice surprise.
*Thank you to Pat for the great dinner tonight and to Linda for delivering it.

Thank you for the continued prayers we are so appreciative of you all. Sending lots of love and hugs to you all.

Chemo #1 Complete but Recovery is Hard

2009-07-25T21:27:00.000-07:00

Just a quick check in with everyone to let you know that Jeremy did get his pump off this morning about 10. They were able to do the blood work and get it sent off, but we won't get his results until next Friday. This afternoon and evening has been really rough on Jeremy. Even though you know it's coming it just doesn't make it any easier once it gets here. We knew there would be some sickness, discomfort, etc. but seeing him uncomfortable and hurting is very hard. His stomach is bothering him, but it is more of a queasy feeling. He is having lots of body aches and is very flushed. Beginning to get sores in his mouth. All normal, but all make for a very uncomfortable situation. He is in our bedroom with all doors shut and lights off. He has taken some meds, so I pray that they help him relax and rest. I don't have much new today just wanted to post and update and ask for prayers for his healing and comfort. I know tomorrow is going to be hard and he is going to be tired, so I pray that he cab rest and relax until his body is ready to be back up and running again. I know the hardest thing is going to be with his treatments only 2 weeks apart, he is never going to feel like he completely recovers.
The boys have been SO wonderful tonight and have played downstairs so daddy could rest and I could take care of him. They are so sweet! Hope you are all having a good weekend. We are hoping to have a special visit from Jeremy's Grandma Dean this Tuesday and he is SO excited and the kids and I are too! I hope and pray everyone stays healthy so Larry and Carolyn are able to bring her up.
*Thank you to Pa, Ma, and Carol for watching the boys today while we went to have Jeremy's blood draw done and get his pump disconnected.

Chemo #1 Underway

2009-07-24T18:53:00.000-07:00

Well shame on me for not updating last night or this morning, but can I just tell you I crashed. I was SO tired. Jeremy and I have not slept well all week and then the night before his first chemo I don't think either of slept at all....nerves I am sure. We both slept great last night and then when Carter laid down for his nap today I fell asleep on the couch for over 3 hours. I feel so much better and Jeremy does too.
So yesterday morning we got up early because I had a dentist appointment before Jeremy's treatment. Unfortunately his premeds made him a little sick, so he had a little trouble right off, but once we got there he was doing ok. They accessed his port and began by giving him his premeds for side effects, nausea and his stomach, from there he began his folfox treatment. They started the treatment at about 9:45 and we were there until about 1. We couldn't have asked for a nicer nurse. Her name was Linda and she was wonderful, she was very thorough and went through everything she did and explained what it was and why she was doing it. It was quite obvious we were both nervous. Jeremy and I chatted, read, and watched tv through the process. At the end of his treatment there she hooked him up to his pump of 5FU that he wears home for 2 days. Jeremy and I both expected a small pump and of course he had hoped for something that he could hide under his clothing, but when she brought it out, it was much bigger than we both expected(like the size of a large cordless phone or maybe bigger!). I mean it has to hold enough medicine for 2 days so I guess it can't be too small. Finally after much convincing Jeremy put the pump in a pack that he has to wear around his waist(not too happy but he embraced it after a few hours). Sleeping and showering have both proven to be a little difficult with the pump, but we know that he will get more used to it as time passes. Had trouble covering where the pump tubing goes into his port for his shower, so if any of you have any great ideas of how to cover it so it doesn't get wet, we would welcome your suggestions. We hang the pump bag on the shower door and that works well.
Of course both boys are pretty intrigued by the tubing and the medicine that is hooked up to daddy. Every 10 minutes I hear Carter ask daddy to see his owie! I explained to them that daddy is taking medicine and it is kind of like a bunch of army men going in and taking care of all the bad stuff in daddy's body and protecting him. Ian seemed to get it and was good with that explanation so all was well in his world.
Tomorrow morning we go back to the Oncology clinic where Jeremy has to have a panel of blood work done while his pump is still running. The nurse said that this is a new test and is actually still considered a study, what they do is they draw his blood while the pump is still running and check his therapeutic levels, this lets his dr. know if they are treating him right in his range or if they need to lower or higher his dosage. She said it is a very new test and very helpful in setting dosage levels. Weird thing was no chocolate the day before the test! Not a problem for him, but would have been for me. As long as he can still eat Judi's strawberry cake he is happy :). The day we got back from his chemo nothing really sounded good to him except for her cake and that night I found him back in the kitchen cutting another big piece of cake! The nurse said that it would definitely curb his appetite, so eat what sounds or tastes good.
Another side effect he is already come across is the numb mouth and needles in mouth and throat. This is apparently a very common side affect. When we got home that first day he fixed a big soda with ice and the next thing I knew I heard him making this crazy sound in the kitchen and he said it was just like needles in his mouth and his lips were numb, so today he has stuck to room temperature water. I can't even imagine how this would feel, but I could tell it was very uncomfortable. So in Jeremy's words he doesn't necessarily feel "normal", but doing ok. We spent all of last night and today resting. He will get the pump of tomorrow and I know he is so ready. I will keep you posted on how the treatment continues to affect him.
By the way he is enjoying the new bedroom and the boys are LOVING the playroom and I LOVE that the toys are all downstairs, it is wonderful.
Well that is all for tonight, hoping and praying for a good nights sleep for all of us.
Thank yous:
*Thank you to Larry and Mary for the delicious spaghetti dinner and the very sweet card. I enjoyed our visit when you came.
*Thank you to Brandy for the no bake cookies, that didn't even have peanut butter so that Carter could eat them!
*When Jeremy had his first treatment Melissa offered to keep the kids and I can't thank her enough! Not only did she keep the kids, but she took them to Rick's for breakfast, McDonald's for lunch, played kickball, Playstation, and Monopoly. I think the kids were hoping we had to go back today just so they could stay with Melissa! From the bottom of our heart thank you for all you have done for our family. You have to be the most giving person I have ever met and we love you bunches.
Looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. No plans maybe a trip to Target to get a few things we have on our list, but mainly just more resting and relaxing because we know soon that will all end and work will soon be upon us.

Blessings!

2009-07-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

Today was Jeremy's dr. appointment to get all his scan results and plan for his treatment to start. Dr. Bradford said that Jeremy's PET and CT scan both looked good! There was only one little spot that lit up and it was in the general area where the cancer was found, so they are unsure if it is a lymph node that is inflamed or a lymph node with cancer. However no other part of his body lit up, PRAISE GOD!!!!! Finally good news, this is exactly what we have all been praying for. They are going to watch this spot, but it will not affect his treatment in anyway because of the location of it. So he will have about 6 rounds of chemo and then they we will do another PET scan and see what it looks like from there.
Chemo starts tomorrow. Can you believe it? Seems so fast, but we are both so ready to get the ball rolling. We will be at the clinic at 9:00am tomorrow. We will be there 3-4 hours and he will have blood drawn, pre meds put into his port, nausea medication, and then begin his chemo. He will do the first couple hours of chemo there and once he shows no sign of reaction he will bring the chemo pack home with him and wear it for 2 days. On Friday we will go back and they will remove the chemo pack. From there we will wait until the following Wednesday and see Dr. Bradford again and discuss how Jeremy felt during and after the chemo. This will allow the dr. to check Jeremy's blood levels and side affects to see if anything needs to be adjusted.
Then the next week the process will start over again. Until he has 12 rounds done.
One of the main things the doctor talked with us about today is the type of treatment that he will have done and the side affects of the treatment. The chemo that Jeremy is getting is called folfox, it is a combination of 3 different medicines. A few of the side affects he may experience are fatigue, queasiness, loss of appetite, and sore mouth/throat. The main side affect that is the most common with this treatment is neuropathy, unfortunately all patients tend to suffer with it just on different levels and different times throughout the treatment. He said that Jeremy will experience tingling of the hands, fingers, feet, and mouth. He will also be very sensitive to cold, so during his chemo or after his mouth could feel like needles anytime he drinks or eats something very cold and when he goes to grab a cold door knob this winter it could be very uncomfortable. I see some good gloves in his future :). Before we left the clinic they sent us to their on site pharmacy where Jeremy got 7 prescriptions filled, now keep in mind this is a man that never goes to the dr let only the pharmacy......I had to giggle at the irony of it. He got premeds for his chemo, the night before and morning of and he also got nausea meds and antibiotics to have on hand as he needs them.
We were very pleased with his appointment today and very nervous and anxious about getting started tomorrow. Jeremy of course asked if he could be released to go back to work, but dr said not yet. He wants Jeremy to be off work for at least one week after his first chemo and see how he feels and how his body reacts and then hopefully after that he will be released to go back to work. So we will both possibly be returning to work on the same day. Knowing that we will both off work off and on all year, but luckily we both work at amazing jobs and they have been so supportive during all of this.
Jeremy and Ian decided they needed a little father son time tonight, so they went to the Naturals baseball game. I was so glad they went, I think it will be good for both of them. Carter and I stayed home and vegged out in front of the tv all night! No complaints from either of us for not getting to go!
I will post tomorrow night and let you know how the first day goes. Thank you for the continued phone calls, emails, cards, and support. I don't know how we would get through all of this without all of you.
Continue to pray for strength especially tomorrow as we head into his first treatment. I know that we are both going to need it especially after how hard it was sitting in the chemo suite the other day for 15 minutes and then tomorrow we will be there for 3-4 hours. Dr. Bradford was very good today though about discussing how normal this anxiety was and that it is ok for us to be nervous the first few times and eventually we will be pros at it. He said it does make it much easier when someone is there with him and I told him not to worry his #1 cheerleader would be there every time!
Thank yous:
*Thank you to Chris and Kasey Bare for the yummy dinner we had last night. The kids and I had ribs everywhere, they were delicious!
*Thank you to Judi for the wonderful down home cooked meal tonight! Even my own pan of cheese grits all to myself, I was in heaven! *for the record I do love grits....esp Judi's cheesy ones :)
*Thank you to Nana for coming back to stay with the boys during Jeremy's appointment and of course not leaving until our house was spotless.
Well gonna get everyone in bed, we have an early day tomorrow. I have a dentist appointment at 8 and from there we will go straight to Jeremy's chemo. We have been lounging in bed in the mornings, so all of us up and ready by 7:30 could be an adventure for sure!

Psalms 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
Praise God he heard each and everyone of us cry out to him. Praise God for good PET scan and CT scan results!!!!!!!!

The Real Deal

2009-07-20T20:51:00.001-07:00

Ok so today was the PET scan and all went well. Of course no results until the appointment with Dr. Bradford on Wednesday, so now we wait. We both were doing really well until we got there and then we walked into what they call the chemo suite(classy isn't it :) and it all became real to both of us, but especially me. There were people everywhere with needles and bags and tubes. I think Jeremy thought I should walk out for a minute because I got a little flushed and hot, but no way was I leaving him in there alone. Luckily we had a very nice nurse who accessed his port for the first time and drew blood. She had this super duper numbing spray so he didn't feel a thing, by the way we got a prescription for that spray! From there he went downstairs for his scans. When they came and got him they said he would be gone about 2 hours, I could lie and say I was Superwoman and took it like a champ, but no reason to lie to all our fans. When he walked behind that door I had a mini meltdown, now for those of you that know me well know that I am a cryer especially if it is something like this and I am extremely emotional. It's not that I don't have faith in our Lord and Savior and it's not that I don't have a positive attitude its just that when sitting there in that chemo suite I looked around and thought to myself these are things you read about, hear about, see in movies and at that moment it all became very real. I guess I wished that I could be going through this instead of him, I never thought what had always been my healthy husband would be sitting in this chair. I know we will get through it and I know we will persevere, but I also know that it is going to be hard and today for me was hard. Now had I know I would have so much time to think I would have brought my dad because he is always offering to come and sit with me, but I had no idea. Well I called my Superwoman Melissa and had a mini breakdown and within probably 10 minutes she was walking into the waiting room I was in with a large mango tea just for me. I got the rest of my tears out and then we visited until Jeremy came out. I know when he first walked out he thought how bizarre that Melissa is here at the oncology clinic, but soon he realized his support needed support today too. From there we went back up to the suite and they took the stuff out of his port and we were well on our way by 5. His appointment is this Wednesday at 1. At the appointment we will get the results of the scans and start date for chemotherapy.
Now in the meantime we haven't seen our boys since Friday, but they were stuck in a monsoon with Nana in Alpena. After she picked them up they hit a huge storm and all the cars were pulled over on the side of the road because it was raining so hard. Both boys were petrified and kept wanting to know when they were going to see mommy and daddy and Carter just wanted to be held. So pitiful! When they got home Tata(who also helped me through my mini breakdown today) took them for some fun time and then we got to see them about 6, we were SO excited and so were they! However they were both exhausted and ready to crash in their beds by about 9. I know you are wondering if they liked the new playroom and of course the answer is yes! They loved it!

Thank yous:
*A BIG thank you to the wonderful lunch ladies at my school-Joy, Susie, Laura, and Connie-they stocked our freezer with all kinds of goodies, so that when we need a quick meal on the go it is there and ready for us. Miss Susie also made us the most delicious pie I think I have ever tasted!
*A THANK YOU to Melissa who didn't want Jeremy and I to have to cook this weekend while the boys were gone so she stocked our fridge with chicken salad, pasta salad, soup, fruit, crackers, and brownies. It was such yummy stuff to munch on all weekend.
*Thank you to all the guys at Kent Dobbs Hyundai for just being themselves and always taking care of us.
*Thank you to the Foshe family for the wonderful Mexican dinner they brought us tonight and the great visit. I don't know who enjoyed it more us or the kids or Bella!
*Thank you to Nana for going through to pick up the boys today which not only gave us one more night to ourselves but also saved us a drive to Harrison.

Super Duper Weekend

2009-07-19T22:23:00.000-07:00

Well I have been a little lazy about posting this weekend, but that is because Jeremy and I had the whole weekend to ourselves. Melanie(Jeremy's sister) offered to take the kids for the weekend and we of course let her! We met Melanie, Noah, and Mallory in Harrison on Friday evening. I would like to say the kids held onto my neck and cried because they didn't want me to leave them, but I would be lying if I told you that. The truth of the matter is they jumped right in Melanie's ride and waved good bye. So Jeremy and I got back into the van and decided to brighten our spirits with some TCBY(since we don't have one in NWA anymore).
When we got home we went to a softball celebration at Ryan and Cheyanne's house. Jeremy's softball team that he has played on for about 5 years won the championship. They have been waiting for this forever! They were so excited, so of course a celebration cookout was in store. Pictures are from the cookout. We had a really good time. Jeremy sat on their back deck and visited with all the guys and I got some good girl time in.
Saturday morning we slept in and then decided to head out to a new restaurant we had been wanting to try called Mojito's, we really enjoyed it. Then later in the afternoon we went to a movie, now let me say that my husband can't stand going to the movies, he prefers to watch them at home on his own couch! So the last movie we had seen together was with Ian when we took him to see Cars! We went and saw The Hangover and I have to say we both belly laughed the entire time, it was hysterical! We were still laughing when we walked out of the the theater. Best medicine ever!
Now you are probably wondering how the kiddos are doing at this point and let me just say Ian has already told me by Saturday morning that he is not ready to come home! They took the kids roller skating, to the creek, visit with grandparents, feed the fish, ride 4 wheelers, eat pizza, and of course lots of playtime. Pictures to come of course! The boys are actually still there, but will home Monday afternoon. I can't wait to hug both of their necks and give them lots of kisses! I don't know how we can ever thank Mike and Melanie enough. Jeremy and I needed this weekend more than anything. Not only did we relax and veg out, but we also got some things done around the house that I just can't seem to get done with the kids here. Tonight we got take out and had sushi and fried rice while we watched Big Brother, it was so NICE! So a HUGE thank you goes out to Mike and Melanie for not only giving us a weekend to ourselves, but also for giving the boys such a memorable time with their cousins.

Well before I sign off for the night I wanted to remind everyone to send up prayers for Jeremy's PET scan and CT scan tomorrow. We have to be there about 2, so they can access Jeremy's port for the first time and then he will begin prep for his scan. They said that we will be there for at least 3 hours, so it will probably be a pretty long day. Please pray that the PET scan will bring some good results our way and we can get this chemo started. We will not get the results until Wednesday, so as soon as we know something I will post an update.

Good friends!

Much needed girl time!

and of course guy time!