Holding Our Heads Up High

I guess I can sit here and cry and scream and yell, but it won't change anything that happened today. We received the pathology report this morning from the surgeon on call at about 10am and no we did not get the good news we had hoped for, but as my title says we are HOLDING OUR HEADS HIGH. The pathology came back with one lymph node that had tested positive for cancer. So this means that with the polyp and the lymph node Jeremy was diagnosed today with Stage 3 colon cancer. Did we cry? Yes absolutely. Are we in shock? Yes absolutely. But do we still have faith in our almighty Lord and Saviour? Yes we do!
So within about 30 minutes of receiving the pathology report we met with our primary care physician who explained things to us for a second time. You see the first time we got the results from the surgeon on call, but once the shock had set in we got to hear it all again from the doctor we are very close to and feel very comfortable with. About 30 minutes after that we met with a Nurse Practitioner from Highlands Oncology Clinic. She was very sweet to us and discussed how our game plan would begin. Later that afternoon we met with Jeremy's oncologist Dr. Bradford(on a side note our surgeon didn't want us to get an oncologist in the hospital unless the path report came back with cancer because he wanted to hand pick our oncologist mainly because he said we were the type of family that needed to be coddled esp because we are young and have 2 little kiddos, well his choice was Dr. Bradford and grace be to God that he was on call this weekend and that is who we got). He was right to, he is definitely the oncologist for us. He spent about 45 minutes with us discussing Jeremy's cancer, the location of it, and treatment. I won't go into detail tonight about the treatment itself mainly because it is still so fresh and we have so many questions we want to ask him about tomorrow. Our goal right now is getting Jeremy home and recovering from the surgery. From there we will move forward to treatment.
Thank yous for today:
*A WONDERFUL thank you to Brandy Foshe for the amazing new design she did for my blog. It looks so GREAT and a great little perk for me today. :)
*A nice visit from the Proffitt family with magazines and sunflower seeds for JJ
*Dinner once again for me brought by Kelly(even brought me one of my most comforting meals)
*Tata bought me lunch in the cafe and made sure I ate PLENTY
*The sweet little cleaning lady that came in right after we got the news, I must have looked devastated because she brought me ice water and a Diet Coke. It was so sweet.
*Visits today from Angela, Angie, Daniel and Debbie, Mierendorff and Amy, Papaw and Theo, Kelly, and I think most of the car lot from the Hyundai dealership!
*Thanks to Nana for giving the boys a fun water day!
*A big thank you to my Dad and Jannie for being here minutes after we found out the news.
Well it is late and it looks like he is having IV "issues", so unfortunately gonna have to watch him get stuck again. Hopefully after that though we can both get some much needed rest.

Galatians 6:2 Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ.
God wants us as Christians to connect with other believers to conquer. You will notice in my blog WE are going to the doctor and WE are going to get through this and that is because Jeremy and I truly believe WE share each other's troubles and we must keep our faith to get through this together.

Keep all the prayers coming, we love you all and appreciate them so much.

He Walked!

So no big changes today, but Jeremy did get to walk today. He was a little nervous but the first loop around went good. He had to walk a minimum of 3 times and after the third time he was done for the day. However about 8 he got his second wind and walked one last loop around. Still quite a bit of pain today and a lot of sleeping. I feel like tomorrow they are going to start him on a soft diet which means that he can begin taking some pain meds orally. These meds will not make him as sleepy as the PCA pump does. His spirits are good just very anxious to get the pathology report back, so that probably answers your question of no we did not get the results today. Frustrating yes, however we have 2 doctors that are watching for them to come through, so I feel really good that if they come over the weekend we will know immediately. They did remove his catheter today and his bladder was able to work on its own, so that was definitely a plus today. We saw the surgeon this morning and he is pleased with his progress and wants him to continue to take his recovery slow. The anesthesiologist came by today and wants to leave the epidural in one more day, so he will probably have that removed tomorrow. Apparently an epidural is the only way to go for this particular surgery. However it was slow in getting it to work, but once it did it was a lifesaver. Our wonderful PCP also came in today and is pleased with his progress and planning to check in on him throughout the weekend. So day by day and step by step he is making progress.

Had to add these pics today because when I was looking for some pics for a SUPER friend of mine that is spicing up my blog for me :) I found these pictures. They were taken on the day of Carter's last ear surgery. The first one made me think of Jeremy's face when they told him some of the things they would be doing to him and are still doing to him! The second one is what Jeremy looks like 90% of his day while being in the hospital!

A few thank yous today......of course!

*Thank you to Ross and Mary Ellen for a wonderful visit and comforting words you had for us and our family. Also thank you for your giving heart, we are truly blessed to have the 2 of you in our lives.

*Thank you to all the guys from the dealership for coming to visit JJ each day, it means a lot to him.

*Thank you to Jen and Tim for the good coloring fun you brought us to pass our time!

*Thank you to our amazing nurse that we have had for 2 days, she has been wonderful!

*Thank you for all the messages and emails. Please know I try to respond to some, but I just don't have the time right now to get to all of them. But please know we read ALL of them and they touch our heart everyday.

*Thank you to the sweet little lady that brings Jeremy his meals and always makes sure I have a tray.

*Thank you to whoever brought our trash cans up from the curb (the little things like that are so thoughtful :)

Well Jeremy is asleep just got his nightly meds, so thinking I am going to do the same. Last night was good, but he woke up at 4am very uncomfortable, so I want to be prepared for that just in case.

Today just gave me a small taste of the strength we are going need through the weeks to come, so my scripture tonight is on strength. Today was a little harder on me because the kids are beginning to notice our absence and they are realizing even though the grandparents are great and ALOT of fun, it is still not mom and dad. I broke down tonight when Ian said, "Mommy I am really missing you and daddy" yep my heart was broken and Carter had to call mommy because he had poo pooed on the potty and he wanted me to know that he was a big boy. So with this being said I knew that tonight my prayer has to be focused on strength. Strength for the boys as they continue to endure mommy and daddy being gone. Strength for Jeremy as he continues to recover and has to push himself a little more each day. Strength for myself as I have to be strong for all of us and balance my role as a wife and as a mom. Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Philippians 4:13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Psalm 105:4 Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.

Recovery Day 1

Well luckily Day 1 went much better than Night 1. Once the pain meds got under control Jeremy was able to relax today and rest. The pain medicine he is on tends to make him very sleepy. He knows visitors are coming and going and he appreciates them all VERY much he just may not be awake for the entire visit :) and as some of you saw today he would tell you I am closing my eyes now. He sat up on the side of bed 4 times today and stood twice. He also got to start having clear liquids and some Jello. The plan for tomorrow is to walk. Is he nervous about walking.......absolutely, but will he do it, I have NO doubt! My post is going to be short tonight mainly because he wants NO lights on (except my computer because he knows my laptop and I have a real close relationship :) and he doesn't fight it). With all the lights off tonight though I am realizing how little sleep I have had, so I am going to try and get some rest. No new news today except that he is recovering and is off to a great start.
A few thank yous tonight:
*Thanks to Kelly for the 2 cute bags of goodies, drinks, and puzzle books!
*Thanks to Melissa for the Sonic and fruit treat.
*Thanks to Sharon for picking up my new glasses(that I needed terribly for night time so the nurse doesn't see how blind I am without my contacts!) and the roll of quarters!
*Thanks to all the guys at Jeremy's work for EVERYTHING.
*Thanks to George and his family, you have such a giving spirit.
*Thanks to Tata for taking the boys today to McDonald's and swimming to get their mind of things and esp for bringing them to see daddy.
*Thank to Ian and Carter for the beautiful pictures they painted their daddy!(we taped them right in front of Jeremy's bed so they are the first thing he sees when he wakes up..........except that darn clock he actually sees it then the pictures!)
*Thanks to our amazing neighbors for mowing our yard today.
*Thank you for all our visitors today it was so nice to see friends and family today.
Once again a truly blessed day. Jeremy did get to see the boys today for about 10 minutes. Of course Jeremy is laid up in the bed so when Carter walked in he said, "aaaaawwwww Daddy sleepy" he was so concerned about how sleepy daddy was and Ian couldn't get by his side quick enough to get a hug. Their visit wore daddy out because he took a big nap after they left.

When doing my devotion today in The Purpose Driven Life I came across my verse for the day.
2 Corinthians 4:17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

God has a purpose behind every problem and even though this seems like a huge pitfall in our life we are being transformed by trouble in our walk with Christ each and everyday.

Had to share a pic tonight! This was a pic we took before church on Father's Day. My 3 boys are too cute!

Surviving Surgery

Well we survived the day of surgery(almost it is 11:05pm :)). We arrived at the hospital and got checked in about 11 this morning. Jeremy's surgery didn't get underway until about 2, so as you can imagine it was a long wait. They took him back about 2 and the surgery lasted about 2 hours. The surgeon said the surgery went very well. He removed the lower section of his colon(about a foot), 2 lymph nodes, and a mass of tissue that the surgeon was unsure of what is was or why it was there. He said it was around the area of where the cancer was so it could be stemmed from that or could be inflamed tissue from where the polyp was removed. We will have to wait for the pathology report to know for certain. We are praying that we will get the pathology report by Friday, but if not it will be on Monday. After surgery Jeremy was in recovery for about 2 hours before we got to see him(long 2 hours as I am sure you can imagine). The rest of the evening has been rough because of the amount of pain he has been in. They were unable to get his pain under control until about 10pm. They put him on a new pain pump and upped his other pain meds. He is now resting very well, this is the first time he has done this since surgery. He is on a restricted diet of only ice chips, but should get to start some clear liquids tomorrow. God blessed us today with a strong and sharp medical team. I praise God for the surgeon, anesthesiologist, nurses, and assistants that have been on Jeremy's care today. God put some wonderful compassionate people on our case and that is what we have prayed for. We know that tomorrow will be a tough day, but we will take it step by step and we will get through it.
Thank for your continued prayers, phone calls, texts, facebook messages, etc. We are once again so very blessed. I know I have already said that many times, but it is emotionally overwhelming to me the love and support we have received. It is hard to believe that not even a week ago we found out about the cancer and already our family, friends, and even people we have not even met are stepping up and supporting us in every possible way we can imagine.
Thank you to Melissa for all the meals you have provided while we have all our family here. Not only meals but snacks and treats for the kids. Also a big thank to you for being my communication and taking care of all the planning I know you have already done in order to make our life a little easier for us when we get home.
Thank you to Jennifer for the bag full of my favorite goodies and magazines.
Thank you to Brandy and Ali for the doorstep full of goodies on the morning of surgery.
Thank you to Melanie(Jeremy's sister), Mike(Jeremy's brother in law), Sara(Jeremy's mom), Jim(Jeremy's stepdad), my Dad, Jannie(my stepmom), Bo, Lori and the girls(my stepbrother and his family), Daniel(our pastor), Angela(super secretary :), my Papaw, Kent Dobbs, and Dave for sitting with us today throughout the surgery. It was blessing to have you all here to support us.
Thank you to Nana(my mom) for staying at home with boys, so that I can be here every minute to take care of my husband.
I cannot say thank you enough for all the blessing bestowed upon us. We know that God is our refuge and our strength and we are trusting him as we continue through this journey together.

Continue to pray for the hands and hearts of the nurses and doctors that are taking care of Jeremy every minute of the day. Continue to pray for me to have the strength to be there for my husband through each day. Pray for Jeremy's strength and will as he begins the healing process of this surgery. Please pray for our boys who are having to deal with what is a very confusing situation in their lives. They are both handling it very well, but I know that each day will get a little harder for them, so please pray for them and our family as a whole.

Psalm 18:2 — The LORD is my rock, and my fortress, and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom I will trust; my buckler, and the horn of my salvation, and my high tower.

Update on Surgery

We got a call this morning not long after 8am that the surgeon was going to work Jeremy in at 3:30(this is thanks to my stepmom who works for our family doctor, what a blessing!). Jeremy and I met with the surgeon for over an hour. He was so good about answering all our questions and fears. He said this is very uncommon for a 32 year old man and in the 25 years he has been practicing he has not seen colon cancer in a man Jeremy's age esp with no trace of it in his family.
He scheduled Jeremy's surgery for this Wednesday at 1:30. We will arrive at the hospital at 10:00am to do preop labs and xrays. The surgery itself will last at least 2 hours. They will remove one whole section of his colon and take 2 lymph nodes. This is the part of the colon the cancer had stemmed off of. He went through the process of everything that would happen and he answered all the questions we had. Jeremy's doctor called and had a consult with the gastrenologist and the pathologist while we were in the clinic. He was very thorough and it was one of our first answered prayers because God put a surgeon in our life that is not only amazing at what he does, but also very compassionate. While in the hospital Jeremy will also see an oncologist who will discuss with us if he will need further treatment after the surgery.
Many of you have asked for specific prayers that we need. Obviously our first and foremost prayer is for the pathology reports to come back cancer free, showing they got it all out. We also ask for prayer for strength, this is difficult on our entire family but obviously in different ways for each of us. We pray for guidance and wisdom for the doctors that are performing surgery and treating Jeremy while in the hospital.
We have praised God each day of this journey for the amazing friends, family, and even complete strangers that are praying for our family. The continuous emails, text messages, facebook messages, and blog comments have been such a blessing to us. We know that God is with us through this journey and we know we WILL make it with a stronger faith, family, and friendships.

Power of Prayer

I am a firm believer in the power prayer and I know when I need to ask for it. Within the last 48 hours I can honestly say our family's life has changed. Let me start at the beginning last Monday my husband Jeremy had to have a colonoscopy for some issues he had been having. He had the colonoscopy and they removed what appeared to be a fairly normal but large polyp. We left the hospital with the feeling all was ok and we could in a sense check that off our list of things we need to do. Well on Friday evening about 5:15 that all changed. The polyp that was removed from Jeremy's colon contained cancer, a cancer that is uncommonly found in anyone his age. We of course are devastated, shocked, and scared. The doctors recommend Jeremy to have a major surgery within the next week or so to remove part of his colon and 1-2 lymph nodes to be tested so that we can know if the cancer has spread to his colon. He also has to undergo a panel of genetic testing to make sure that this is not something that has been passed on to our two boys. The recommendation was to have the surgery done within the week. This surgery will mean that Jeremy will be off work for 4-6 weeks. I am asking for you to pray for my husband and his health. We are praying to God each and everyday that this cancer is gone and will not return, but as I said I am a firm believer in the power of prayer so I am reaching out to my close friends and blog readers and asking you to pray. We are supposed to hear from the surgeon tomorrow and set up our consultation and hopefully have surgery scheduled for this week or early next. Please pray for Jeremy and our family. The boys know something is going on, but it is hard for a 7 year old to wrap their head around something of this nature. However we knew it would not be right for us to not be honest with Ian because we felt that would make him more scared if he was not told the truth and heard everyone whispering. We did use easier terms and explained to him words he would be hearing, but assured him daddy was going to be okay, but the next few months were going to be tough. Let me just say I love my kids they are so wonderful. I need prayers for myself to be the wife I need to be during this time and to have the right words to say to my husband when he is worried and scared. I am having to step into a role I never dreamed I would have to and I can honestly say it is hard and is scary, but with great friends and family I know I am going to be able to do it. The next few weeks are going to be hard for us and at the same time give us a lot of answers. Once again please pray for Jeremy and please pray for our family.
In Luke 18:1 Jesus told his disciples that they "should always pray and not give up."
I firmly believe we are going to pray and we are NOT going to give up. I love my husband and he is an amazing man, husband, and father. He is a fighter and with our faith, family, and friends we will get through this.

We survived April!

Ok so I have been a terrible blogger, but partly because it was April! April is the dreaded month for us because it is so CRAZY! The month begins with both the boys birthday, yes we are now 2 and 7! Hard to believe! *Pictures of parties coming soon!* From there we have Easter, so you guessed it not only do we have lots of bday goodies but also Easter bunny goodies. So by this point my house is usually a disaster! From there begins our state testing at school. I am our schools test coordinator which means that I am in charge of making sure that we follow ALL the states wonderful rules of security and test administration. Good times! That consumes almost 3 weeks of the month because we have K-2 testing one week, 3-5 testing, and then we have make up testing. Not to mention all the coding, sorting, counting, packaging etc. The good news is I do get a little $ incentive for doing this. Granted nothing probably for the time I put in, but we usually use it for a little summer get a way to Branson. In the midst of testing is always when baseball starts, so that adds a little more to our already busy calendar! Now in the mean time Carter decided to get hit with rotovirus not fun at all and then a few weeks later Ian got hit with what we think was possibly then flu and wouldn't you know April ended with me in bed sick! So this explains why my blogging went from not so great to TERRIBLE! May is here and I am beginning to feel some better and ready for a fresh start!