Monday, July 20, 2009

The Real Deal

Ok so today was the PET scan and all went well. Of course no results until the appointment with Dr. Bradford on Wednesday, so now we wait. We both were doing really well until we got there and then we walked into what they call the chemo suite(classy isn't it :) and it all became real to both of us, but especially me. There were people everywhere with needles and bags and tubes. I think Jeremy thought I should walk out for a minute because I got a little flushed and hot, but no way was I leaving him in there alone. Luckily we had a very nice nurse who accessed his port for the first time and drew blood. She had this super duper numbing spray so he didn't feel a thing, by the way we got a prescription for that spray! From there he went downstairs for his scans. When they came and got him they said he would be gone about 2 hours, I could lie and say I was Superwoman and took it like a champ, but no reason to lie to all our fans. When he walked behind that door I had a mini meltdown, now for those of you that know me well know that I am a cryer especially if it is something like this and I am extremely emotional. It's not that I don't have faith in our Lord and Savior and it's not that I don't have a positive attitude its just that when sitting there in that chemo suite I looked around and thought to myself these are things you read about, hear about, see in movies and at that moment it all became very real. I guess I wished that I could be going through this instead of him, I never thought what had always been my healthy husband would be sitting in this chair. I know we will get through it and I know we will persevere, but I also know that it is going to be hard and today for me was hard. Now had I know I would have so much time to think I would have brought my dad because he is always offering to come and sit with me, but I had no idea. Well I called my Superwoman Melissa and had a mini breakdown and within probably 10 minutes she was walking into the waiting room I was in with a large mango tea just for me. I got the rest of my tears out and then we visited until Jeremy came out. I know when he first walked out he thought how bizarre that Melissa is here at the oncology clinic, but soon he realized his support needed support today too. From there we went back up to the suite and they took the stuff out of his port and we were well on our way by 5. His appointment is this Wednesday at 1. At the appointment we will get the results of the scans and start date for chemotherapy.
Now in the meantime we haven't seen our boys since Friday, but they were stuck in a monsoon with Nana in Alpena. After she picked them up they hit a huge storm and all the cars were pulled over on the side of the road because it was raining so hard. Both boys were petrified and kept wanting to know when they were going to see mommy and daddy and Carter just wanted to be held. So pitiful! When they got home Tata(who also helped me through my mini breakdown today) took them for some fun time and then we got to see them about 6, we were SO excited and so were they! However they were both exhausted and ready to crash in their beds by about 9. I know you are wondering if they liked the new playroom and of course the answer is yes! They loved it!

Thank yous:
*A BIG thank you to the wonderful lunch ladies at my school-Joy, Susie, Laura, and Connie-they stocked our freezer with all kinds of goodies, so that when we need a quick meal on the go it is there and ready for us. Miss Susie also made us the most delicious pie I think I have ever tasted!
*A THANK YOU to Melissa who didn't want Jeremy and I to have to cook this weekend while the boys were gone so she stocked our fridge with chicken salad, pasta salad, soup, fruit, crackers, and brownies. It was such yummy stuff to munch on all weekend.
*Thank you to all the guys at Kent Dobbs Hyundai for just being themselves and always taking care of us.
*Thank you to the Foshe family for the wonderful Mexican dinner they brought us tonight and the great visit. I don't know who enjoyed it more us or the kids or Bella!
*Thank you to Nana for going through to pick up the boys today which not only gave us one more night to ourselves but also saved us a drive to Harrison.


Reba said...

Oh, Jill. I just wanted to reach through the computer and give you a big hug. What a tough day for you. I cannot imagine how difficult it was walking in and facing that reality. I have felt that hot and flustered feeling is not fun. I am so glad you had a friend who was right there with you in a moment's notice. I also know it must be hard to just wait for Wednesday to get the scoop/results. I am not a good waiter. I am praying for good results and for a perfect plan by the doctor in how to proceed. I am so glad the boys are back home. I know they missed you and you them. I also have a feeling that on days when reality is too much, they will give you a sense of "normalcy" that you need.

Love you.

Teresa @ Grammy Girlfriend said...

Praying for great tests results.....